So I've been on high stress lately. All my finals, essays and project deadlines are converging now that it's getting close to end of semester. I'm working towards making arrangements for entering a field school this summer, and I need to finish signing up for my fall courses and figure out how the hell a [name redacted*] capstone works. *If I wrote the program name the capstone is a part of, you'd probably know which university I go to. Basically its a program that all students have to be a part of by taking these seminar classes that focus on building up writing skills because this is a school with a lot of engineering majors and if they didn't have this program they would pretty much...not take any classes to build up their writing skills. I'm doing much better this year than I was the last, or the year before that when I went into one hell of a depressive slump, something that I (at the time) thought I was getting past after high school. I guess the fears of falling into that again and fucking up my grades because of it are still very much in the back of my head. A few days ago though, while browsing tumblr I saw a post with 3,000 notes (at the time) about a fandom I started participating in when I was 16. They linked to one of my blogs which I still update, and mentioned a ship that involved my first ask blog (again, I was 16 at the time of that) as an example of how "they were all scraping at the bottom of the barrel" and mocked the whole thing, you know. I was...taken by surprise. I looked at the comments on the post which I definitely shouldn't have done and I legitimately started crying. I guess with all the recent stress and fears and everything else, this was the straw that broke the camel's back. It's ridiculous. I cried over a damn tumblr post? I mean, it's embarrassing. I've mostly gotten over it now, but that updating blog has an increasing spike of hate follows since that post is well over 12,000 reblogs and counting now. Thankfully nobody has sent me anything yet but it's making me really goddamn anxious. Ugh, I'm just...I could use some advice for how to cope and deal with this. How to take a step back?
I can't believe there are still some people who are such sad sacks of shit that they actively mock people who like things they can't understand. Especially that phrasing. I can't even parse it, really. Like, why would you say someone liking a pairing is doing that? Shows no imagination IMO. You don't have to keep around the blog if it's causing you too much anxiety. As much as I loved my RP blogs at the time, they're all gone now because I didn't want Certain People finding me. But if you want to keep the blog, you can also block specific people, though I don't know much about Tumblr's block feature besides it's not that great. If you get hate, anon or not, delete it and block. You can also try turning off your computer. Yes, haha, funny, but I'm kinda being serious here. When I get my most stressed I'm not online at all because my brain can't handle it. Close the laptop, yank the cord, and breathe. Because no matter what, you're still not the fuckmongrel who made that post. Keep your head up. It sucks right now but life will be less stressful soon.
Hey, thank you. I can't go completely offline as of yet due to school things, but I am probably going to take your suggestion and keep off of those tumblr blogs until I feel like it's blown over and forgotten. It's weirdly comforting knowing that all of these things will eventually blow over once people find something new to chew at.
Usually you're just the turkey. Once something more entertaining comes along for these people you'll be completely forgotten. In the meantime, staying out of it means that being the turkey doesn't go on longer than it has to.
Yeah. Or edit the post to thank the new visitors for dropping by and admiring how precocious you were back when you were 16. :P
