I've literally sat here and written out a few thread titles, and none of them seemed appropriate

i want to say something snarky like "but if ur not real then how i a dog become god take that athetits" but. yeah.

i've been here and it's not fun. witnessed.

 

Witnessed <3

 

Spoiler: he's not abusive, i'm just fucked up, okay??

Maybe if I had been a better person in my life, people would stop leaving. maybe if I wasn't so headfucked, it would be easier to replace them.

Everything is happening too fast and I want to leave and run and flee and

I can't even leave the house to get a job I can't even get the fucking assholes in oregon to give me documentation so I can get help here.
I'm not suicidal. It doesn't matter if I die, because I'm not even real to begin with.
I'm probably losing, or lost my grip on reality, because i realize how stupid, how wrong that sounds and I just...I want to leave. I want to go home and there's no home to go to.
No comfort for this ache.

To hospitalize myself would be causing someone else's entire world to fall in and I can't allow that. I'll be his rock. That's all I'm good for.

 

I'm tired of trying.

 

<3 I don't really know what to say, except that you are a real, valuable person who deserves help.