So I do stand-up comedy when I'm feeling well enough and over the years of writing jokes since I was small child I have a collection of one-liners and jokes that I feel like are pretty funny. These are all made up by me. If you've heard it before then awesome, but I never saw them before and so I take credit for these. Why did the hotdog get pregnant? Spoiler: punchline it wasn't wearing any condiments What does batman and an onion have in common? Spoiler: punchline they both have lairs What does potassium hydroxide and politician's promises have in common? Spoiler: punchline They both are lyes Why did the psychiatrist vote for zachary? Spoiler: punchline She was prozac How do psychologists drink their wine? Spoiler: punchline Freudian sips Your turn! Let's get some humor and laughter tonight/tomorrow/today xD
The only joke I've ever written: Why are football players so rich? Spoiler: punchline Because they always get their quarterback I was nine and thought I was a genius.
Wrote this one pretty recently: A lion, a goat, and a snake walk into a bar. A man goes over to them and says "Chimera often?" And this when I waaas seven or eight: What do you call a chicken that won't come out of its egg? Spoiler: punchline A chicken egg!
Some more of my jokes: Oregon is so hipster it still has video rental stores. Oregon is so hipster it thinks spelling is too mainstream -- I saw a sign on the side of the road that said "sweet cron" Oregon is so hipster it is trying to bring back confederate flags
How many ears does Captain Kirk have?? Spoiler: gotta love trek jokes three: the left ear, the right ear, and SPACE, THE FINAL FRONT EAR (FRONTIER) LMAOOOOO
