Leave Me Alone! The thread for when people won't do that.

Discussion in 'The Undercity' started by ASPD Anon, Jan 29, 2017.

  1. ASPD Anon

    ASPD Anon Vagitarian

    So, if you haven't seen what went down today, you are using a very different part of the site. What should be done when a polite request to be left alone and have someone stop interacting with you is denied? What about when users make subaccounts to evade the ignore function, or post in your vent thread after you've asked them to stop?

    That kind of thing is frustrating at best, and infuriating at worst. A no-moderation forum enables this kind of behavior. Please advise.

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    (Deleted attachment is a screencap of me being upset with CA's behavior in my vent thread, from palindromordnilap's subaccount.)
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    (Their posts doing this have since been deleted.)
     
    • Like x 1
  2. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    Huh. Well, I'm not really going to delve into the specifics of this conflict, but we have had some experience dealing with issues like what you describe in the past. For the vent thread thing we had a whole discussion about that. What was talked about at the end was that people have a right to respond to things said about them in a vent thread, but they have to do that by making a separate fight forum thread. The only appropriate thing to post in another person's vent thread was thought to be a clarifying question, like "is this about me?" But nothing else.

    If people post other unwelcome stuff in your thread, report the comments and a mod will remove/move them.

    In the case of sub account abuse, some users have lost access to the ability to make sub accounts in the past, limiting their ability to evade moderation or ignores and things like that. I would suggest talking to a mod about things like this when they happen.
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2017
    • Like x 1
  3. ASPD Anon

    ASPD Anon Vagitarian

    I did. Seebs told me there was nothing to be done.
     
  4. electroTelegram

    electroTelegram Well-Known Member

    iirc seebs said that nothing could be done on your end to prevent someone else from seeing your posts -- mods are capable of moving posts from thread to thread, and removing them entirely if necessary
     
    • Like x 1
  5. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    About which thing? I posted about a few solutions we have...

    EDIT: Having glanced at your screen caps, your issue with the sub accounts was this Mysterious Somebody person? That account, being a sock that engaged in suicide baiting, was banned and the posts removed. The sock owner is impossible to discern because that was not a sub account, but an independent sock. I hope this helps?
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2017
  6. ASPD Anon

    ASPD Anon Vagitarian

    Palindromornilap publicly admitted to being MS, but that's neither here nor there.

    I'm talking about what happens when users want to be left alone, and people expressly refuse to let them be?
     
    • Like x 1
  7. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    Oh right, I remember MS now. Anyway.

    Well, I mean, it depends on what they are doing. If they post to your vent thread then that can be moved, if they account hop to contact you directly that's more serious, but nothing we haven't dealt with before.

    If you mean them responding to your posts in the wider forum... That's not really a thing you or anyone else can or should control. If they want to talk at the brick wall that is your block list they can have fun with that I guess?
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2017
  8. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    Yeah, it depends a great deal on the specifics of what kind of "leave alone" you have in mind.
     
  9. ASPD Anon

    ASPD Anon Vagitarian

    I can't stop people from sniping at me when I have them on ignore. I'm fine with that. I just don't feel comfortable when I ask someone to leave me alone and the response is, "having considered your request, nah."

    I know you'd like to be very hands-off in terms of moderation, but I feel like on a forum of abuse survivors, stalking someone's web presence is a little over-the-top.
     
  10. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    I mean, you don't need to tell them to leave you alone, you can enforce that boundary entirely by yourself by booting them from your vent thread and putting them on ignore forever.

    They might as well be on the moon with no internet if you do that.

    If you're looking for something in the way of an official punitive response for what they said... That's not really a thing.
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2017
  11. ASPD Anon

    ASPD Anon Vagitarian

    How do I boot someone from a thread? Is there a kick option?
     
  12. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    I do agree, a response like that seems pretty inappropriate. "Leave me alone" is by and large a reasonable request. There's certainly possible exceptions, but in general, it seems reasonable.
     
    • Like x 1
  13. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    In the context of vent threads, anyway, "stop posting in my vent thread" is usually considered a reasonable response. People might feel they need to be allowed to respond somewhere else, but your actual personal vent thread, feel free to gripe if people are bugging you in it.
     
  14. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    If it's a vent thread, you say "don't post here" and if they post there comments get moved/deleted.
     
  15. ASPD Anon

    ASPD Anon Vagitarian

    Yes. So, what should I do when people expressly refuse and continue tagging me into discussions?

    Yeah, but that's after people have told me to kill myself in my vent thread. Or gone around reposting screencaps of it out of context.
     
  16. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    Well yeah, of course, and there are social repercussions for ignoring requests like that, but like, beyond saying "hey stop" I dunno what you can do?

    The whole "lack of punitive response" thing leaves limited options.
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2017
  17. ASPD Anon

    ASPD Anon Vagitarian

    I'd like a concrete set of actions I, as an individual and not a mod, can take to enforce my boundaries. Can I ban people from threads I've created so they have to go somewhere else? Can I hide my threads temporarily from everyone so they can't look at them? Can I hide my threads from people I'm not following, or people that aren't following me?
     
    • Like x 4
  18. Petra

    Petra space case

    I think at the very least seebs should have a talk with Ipuntya about this. Not neccessarily for punative reasons but like... people respect seebs.
     
    • Like x 4
  19. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    The only threads that people have to themselves are vent threads, and that's by social contract. The other stuff you're talking about isn't in the software as far as I know.
     
    • Like x 1
  20. furrylatula

    furrylatula a pissed off homestuck girl

    i take offense to this generalization because i Can

    i dont particularly respect seebs more than i respect any other relative stranger in charge
     
    • Like x 1
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