Lemme Tell You About Ibby

Discussion in 'The Undercity' started by seebs, Feb 16, 2017.

  1. Hobo

    Hobo HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA

    Is there a reason why the opinions/venting of one person is taken as the opinions of the majority of people-who-are-mad-at-Alix? That shit is infuriating. You don't know shit about my opinions about Alix, and I'm asking you to cut this vague horseshit out. I think it's clear that your theorising about the actions and motivations of others is generally pretty piss poor (Rhett is abusing Ray and there's absolutely no way it could be otherwise. Literally none, there's no explanation, it makes no sense and I can't imagine why you'd think otherwise), and you don't like people making assumptions about your motivations either. Cut it out, god dammit.

    Also, when you've got a situation like this, where a bunch of people are emotionally involved with the situation, it's usually not a good idea to vague post about it (as an admin) . I have no idea who you're referring to, and it genuinely seems like no one else does either, and are often thinking you're talking about them (the readers) when you say this shit. Be specific about the people you're calling out for provoking a reaction and lumping in with stalkers, please.
     
    • Like x 18
  2. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    Agreeing, cause I never interacted with Alix before this other than liking posts that were funny.
    All I did was knock it off bringing stuff into the 3am chat when others were telling her to stop.
     
  3. Ana Nimus

    Ana Nimus Well-Known Member

    So vaguing in vent threads isn't ok but it's fine if you do it in That's So Meta. Or is that only if youre an admin?
     
    • Like x 11
  4. Starcrossedsky

    Starcrossedsky Burn and Refine

    Yeah, TBH, Seebs, your vaguing about a lot of these issues is doing more harm than good. As is making a new thread every time the shit and the fan have an unfriendly encounter, honestly.

    fake-edit: Ana there is being less kind about it but that's basically how I feel right now, too.
     
    • Like x 14
  5. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    I feel like seebs hates me and doesn't want me here. It feels like she's saying that I brought this on myself.
    If that's a good understanding of the effect her words are having.
     
  6. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    She won't even respond to my posts directly.
     
  7. boop

    boop beepbeep

    p sure seebs has not said an did not mean to insinuate that you did
    looks like they agree that you didnt bring it on yourself

    @a tiny mushroom i dont hate you. if you leave i will miss you so i hope you come back as soon as youre feeling better
     
  8. a tiny mushroom

    a tiny mushroom the tiniest

    She's logged off that's why, please don't panic
     
    • Like x 1
  9. a tiny mushroom

    a tiny mushroom the tiniest

    Thanks. People are talking to me and the full AvPD meltdown has been averted, probably
     
    • Like x 2
  10. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    Even before she logged off, and if I'm remembering correctly she ignored my comments in the other thread too.
    I feel like I'm not welcome here anymore
     
  11. ASPD Anon

    ASPD Anon Vagitarian

    Blease. Guys. More slow for my tiny hands.

    1. Seebs is still on the Alix thing in this thread.
    2. Seebs is logged off, and has been since their last message.
    3. The OP was confusing and vague, but I talked to Seebs about it in PM and they agree they could have worded it much less vaguely and without citing mid-meltdown posts from other users.

    We're all breathing, yes?
     
    • Like x 11
  12. boop

    boop beepbeep

    good to know. hope you and @michinyo stay safe
     
    • Like x 2
  13. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    @ASPD Anon

    [​IMG]
    semi accurate response, but my first thought was this lyric cause I'm a meme fuck
     
    • Like x 5
  14. ASPD Anon

    ASPD Anon Vagitarian

    When do I get special Khan-only "Seebs whisperer" forum badge. Or "bomb defuser." Either-or. @Mods get on this.

    (Joking.)
     
    • Like x 8
  15. spockandawe

    spockandawe soft and woolen and writhing with curiosity

    I think there might be a disconnect here in the way you're parsing what people mean when they talk about Alix.

    When things were in the process of going to hell on Tuesday, Alix said a frustrated thing about 'stop acting like you're afraid I'm going to go after you, I'm not the fucking stasi.'

    And like... Alix has hurt a lot of people and given plenty of folks just cause to be afraid of them. That hurt doesn't go away the moment the situation superficially calms down, and the fear doesn't either. People aren't done processing the emotions just because the forum is not actively on fire at that moment, and they don't stop being afraid just because Alix is out of the meltdown state.

    I don't think most people are posting things to keep the fight going, or to try to hurt Alix back. I think they tend to post about, y'know, things that are on their mind or bothering them. After blowups on here that I've been involved in, there have been sore spots I keep coming back to for a while after that, and I don't think I've ever been directly in someone's crosshairs, or been attacked in a way I'm vulnerable against. If someone who Alix attacked is still posting uncharitably about Alix, only one or two days after a blowup happened, I don't think they're being malicious. I think they're mainly just posting about things that are relevant to their thoughts and emotions. I get the impression that you cool off fairly quickly after fights (maybe not always, but in general, that's what I've seen), but for a lot of people, that isn't going to be the case, especially if they've been threatened or attacked, and especially if they're still afraid and upset.

    Maybe assuming the latest person causing trouble MUST be Alix is a bad assumption, but... hm. This is tricky to put into words. If Alix has caused trouble on subaccounts and attacked you directly before, guessing that this is Alix again isn't something that's done to be cruel. History and pattern recognition is going to lead you in that direction, and if you're still on edge over things Alix has done (the latest round of suicide threats was less than a day before this new fire got started), cool, logical analysis is not going to be the first thing on most people's minds. And if it is Alix, addressing them in your own threads, it's kind of a... defensive measure isn't exactly the right word, but if you've weathered attacks before, it helps brace you against a possible threat. Sorry, my words are really breaking down here.

    Like, cdcf throwback, when Ray tried to theatrically flounce from an artist's livestream because spock, a dirty filthy ABUSER was there, i posted about it at some length in the cdcf thread. I probably even addressed Ray at some points, because it's easier to type that way ('if person X was reading this, then I'd tell them I think Y' is more clumsy than typing 'hey, X. Y!!!', whether or not X is actually reading). But even when I was addressing him, even knowing he'd probably read it, I wasn't saying it for the purpose of having him read it. Posting about the thing that had me upset and off-balance helped me pull myself back together. And that was in response to a pretty frivolous attack that did me no real harm. As opposed to the emotions of the people here who have been directly suicide-baited multiple times, have dealt with revenge porn threats, etc.

    I could be wrong, but I... think I that you think people have gotten enough space from the actual incidents that their posts about Alix aren't being made for themselves, but they're just being made to hurt Alix. I can't speak for everyone and every post, and I'm sure there have been some posts made in the hopes of hurting Alix. But I don't think that's true of as many posts as you seem to think. But then, when you post about the bear baiting and such, the people who have been posting about Alix, but for themselves (not to attack Alix), what they hear is 'so yes these bad things happened to you, but you really shouldn't talk about them.'

    Hopefully not too splain-y. But it feels like there's a huge disconnect somewhere in the mix here. I get that it's Alix's right to read these posts about them, and to be upset by the things they read. But I also don't think most of these posts are being made with malicious intentions. You're asking people to stop trying to get revenge on Alix, but when most of the posts aren't being made with the intention of getting revenge on Alix, that isn't the meaning folks are taking away from your words.

    (also, whenever things have calmed down a bit, I know your kintsugi vacation got cut short by a series of forum fires, and it sounds like real life is pretty hectic too, and you sound really stressed. I know things are pulling you in all sorts of directions, but if you get the chance to take another shot at that vacation, I think it would be good for you)
     
    • Like x 28
  16. ASPD Anon

    ASPD Anon Vagitarian

    I talked to Seebs about this in PMs. They've heard this before. They agree for the most part.
     
    • Like x 2
  17. spockandawe

    spockandawe soft and woolen and writhing with curiosity

    Sounds good! The content I was hoping would be most helpful is the tail end of the post.
     
  18. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    Everyone, please observe:
    This is Seebs being the sympathy ass pats mod, weeks late. Weeks. The sympathy was warranted, sorely needed even, but if you try to depend on him specifically for it you're going to get it weeks late, if at all. Seebs is not equipped to be the sympathy ass pats mod, he's said this more than once. People keep expecting this thing from him that is just not going to happen. You can't train it into him, you can't yell at him until he learns better, and your ire at his inability is never going to be resolved.

    Please try to forgive him, or lose respect for him, or it whatever it takes to start having realistic expectations of him.

    I'm also not ALWAYS capable of being the sympathy ass pats mod, for a variety of reasons. If I'm on point putting out fires it's fucking stressful and time consuming and I don't have the ability to set down the fire hose to attend to the various burn victims and freaked out people going into shock. Those are terrible things to be happening, but so is the ongoing fire. As soon as I saw the support thread for Michinyo I was glad. I thought, I'm happy I can count on all of you to take part in the emergency care around here. But I need that to be enough sometimes. I can't do all the jobs, none of us on the forum can. Some of the jobs are beyond some of us. And some of the jobs only a mod can do, and mods need to prioritize those things or they won't get done.

    Please continue supporting each other and please let that be enough went everything is fires and screaming and angry people.
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2017
    • Like x 21
  19. Ana Nimus

    Ana Nimus Well-Known Member

    The problem is that seebs is consistently supportive of some users, usually the ones that are hurting people, while being completely silent at best towards others. And not that the users hurting people don't also deserve support, they do, but the way seebs prioritzes these things and the order they happen in results in a lot of victim blamy stuff getting said and the hurting people get hurt worse. And that quote did include "a reminder to me to be more careful about that." Seebs, multiple people feel that you really dropped the ball on that this time.
     
    • Like x 12
  20. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    I do not think that him having perfect support of all people can be the requirement for him to post on stuff at all, which is how this conversation often goes. Seebs sees the support offered to the obviously harmed party, mentally ticks that off the list as one less thing to spend spoons on, and goes to the next thing.

    It may not be meant this way, but it seems like he's being required to meet needs he sees are already being met by others before he's allowed to start meeting the next set of unaddressed needs. He's rationing his effort to the things not already being addressed by a bunch of other people. That sounds super mercenary, it's not the nicest way to be, but it helps fill in gaps when we're all working together to meet ALL the needs instead of requiring that one guy do a little bit of all the things.

    I'm not saying he didn't drop the ball, just like he regrettably did in the past. I'm saying that he's likely to almost always drop that particular ball, so how do we work with that?
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2017
    • Like x 17
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