Vent longitude has anxiety

i dreamt about talking to my ex again (i had them blocked but they didn’t have me blocked) and trying to explain myself. idk what the explanation was. i said they could contact me again this coming september. i wish i hadn’t said that.

 

when i broke up with them i lost my entire old friend group, entirely without meaning to. now i am slowly starting to collect new and better friends, but it is is scary.

 

i got a new job so i can quit my Corporate Retail Job, but my Corporate Retail Job has never paid me. they owe me about $775 and I just have no idea how to get that money from them.

 

If they’re giving you the runaround and you think they’re not going to pay on their own, I’d look into small claims court.

 

i’m catsitting and i’d like to stay with the cats for as long as possible because it’s nicer being here than at home but i’m starving which is kicking my anxiety to overdrive and i have no money to buy delivery to fix this problem

so that’s all. Fine

 

i am working myself into a tizzy because work has never paid me and i don’t know how to claim those dollars and i also have to quit

 

first of all, I got paid
second of all, I still have to quit and I have ANXIETY about it because I can't give two weeks' notice

 

quitting script:
Hi! This is Lat. Two things:

One: I have a shift tomorrow from 9am to 5pm, and I will not be there.
Two: I cannot make any of the rest of my shifts this week, so I am quitting, and I am very sorry.

Why are you quitting?
I got a job in my field!

Threats:
Well that’s just the way the cookie crumbles.

 

They hung up on me in the middle of my quitting!!

 

i told my abuser they could contact me again in september 2019 (it was feb 2017 when i left) and i am,,, Afraid

 

my mom made me watch two episodes of gilmore girls with her and i got nothing done because i need to be ALONE and i got nothing done today and the day is basically over and i want to die

 

Your mom

made you watch tv??

 

TRULY TRAGIC I KNOW

she didn’t ‘make’ me but she cries if you leave in the middle of an episode and I Can’t Handle That. am i responsible for other people’s emotions? no! but 17 years of therapy still hasn’t gotten that through my thick skull!

 

Sounds uncomfortable

 

I got 19/50 on my last java assignment!

some questions:
1) is this legal grounds to kill myself?
2) am I going to fail the whole class?
3) I should quit my job(s) or take less hours or SOMETHING

 

1. *sprays you with cool water* no!
2. I would not assume that, no. It’s a possibility. But people who say they’ve never tried something and failed miserably either have never done anything difficult or are lying. There’s a whole Thing in the pro-writer community where people proudly tally their rejection letters. Failing a class just means you really tried at something without already knowing you could do it—which is a tremendously useful skill and in my opinion one of the signature marks of maturity. I will be very proud of you if you show me any grade, including one below 50% or whatever the cutoff is at your school—it means you looked your own failure in the eye and said “if you want me you’re gonna have to come get me.”
3. if you have to choose between school and work, please think before deciding which one you want to drop. I don’t know your situation but this is unlikely to be an open and shut question. Don’t, in particular, quit your job and focus on school just to keep your professors from being mad at you—no professor I’ve known would actually want that outcome.

 

i have 48 hours to complete this project and i don’t understand:
-while loops (or loops at all, honestly)
-how methods work

and it’s like, okay, maybe i shouldn’t be in an intensive compsci course (i am only familiar with ruby), but now i am in it and i have to complete this course or pay actual money for it, which i do not have

 

i m caught in the same anxiety spiral i do every semester which is:
-i cant work at home, i get interrupted
-i can’t go to the library, i don’t have money for food

 

it’s just like, i can’t listen to the lectures in my online class because there are no subtitles so i literally just fall asleep so i’m just missing huge chunks of information

 

While loops are just “do these steps repeatedly, and you’ll know you’re done when this thing happens.” Methods... uh are functions where the first implied argument of the function is an object of the type in which the method is defined. (Functions are... compressed chunks of code. A function is really just a block with a name and usually acts the part.)

Does that make any sense?