Discussion in 'General Chatter' started by jacktrash, Feb 26, 2015.
A shitknuckle is the kind of person who would take a shit, wipe their ass, get shit all over their fingers, and then go around without washing their hands getting shit all over things because they don't care enough not to. Kind of like a shitheel only more so.
"[He] would struggle to alphabetize cheerios"
Credit goes to someone I only know as Pun. They were describing the kind of non too bright chaos magnet who is delightful in fiction and terrible in reality.
thing spotted on my dashboard earlier: "You know what really imagines my dragons?"
“He shot for the stars and landed in the dung heap.”
Why was I not following this thread!
Insults for the Scorn Throne:
A stained glass window of fractal wrongness
(I don't know if this one is here already and it isn't mine but deserves to be enshrined here): loofah-faced shitgibbon
Variations on "mangy dog dick."
My friend Ajani makes some of the best white jokes I've ever heard. We were at a park yesterday larping and I got these gems out of him.
"What in the caucasity?"
"White in tarnation?"
Him to another player: cut his balls off!
Me, mock offended, white lady style: there are children present!
Him: You know this park used to be a plantation?
Me, knowing he's going somewhere great with this: Yeah?
Him: Yeah, and my black ass is owed fucking reparations for the shit that went down here.
Me: is yelling at white people part of that?
Him: It is now! 30 acres, a mule, and as many "go fuck yourself"s as I want.
Stolen from a Harry Potter fanfic I read in the late aughts. This is the only line from it that I still remember, ten years later.
Sirius: as far as useless tools go, malfoy’s a two inch strap-on
Harry: you’re giving him a half-inch too much credit.
More lizsms because there have been a lot recently.
“What the hot fresh fuck?”
“I don’t give half a runny shit.”
“[bf’s ex] couldn’t find her ass with both hands and a map.”
“He’s almost as smart as he is tall,” about a friend’s 5 foot nothing shitlord of an ex husband who’s suing for custody after not paying child support for three years.
From Dan Savage's column:
This one is allegedly an Irish curse: "May the curse of Mary Malone and her nine blind illegitimate children chase you so far over the hills of damnation that the good Lord himself couldn't find you with a telescope."
Also, from a D&D session: "You'd need a brain transplant and Fox's Cunning to make him smart."
Great French insults; "raclure de bidet" and "enculeur de mouches". I was looking up something to call a particularly aggravating character who happened to be French and learned fun things.
I'm reading through like "taintpimple," "maybe even five whole dicks," "that really sandpapered my asshole" -- and then I go "wait."
"what's that one in the middle."
congratulations @pixels, you earned it. I'm sorry you're getting your prize four years late, but it is my honor to be the one to tell you that you have won the entire internet
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