Need some advice for traveling

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by Mossflower, Jan 30, 2018.

  1. Mossflower

    Mossflower Well-Known Member

    Guess I'll get right to the point. I want to go see my boyfriend for his birthday in May. The problem is he lives in Florida and I'm in Tennessee. I am currently 27 have a car and money to pay for everything. The problem is my parents specifically dad.

    He has this issue where he trusts no one but me my sisters and Mom pretty much and a temper to go with it. I know the minute I mention wanting to go out of state he'll say 'not by yourself you're not.'

    The next problem to add to that is I have zero irl friends so no one to bring along.

    I get where he's coming from but the last time I wanted to go on vacation on my own he threatened to call the cops to drag me back if I did. I'm just stuck feeling like the only way I'll be able to see him in person is to move out first.
  2. turtleDove

    turtleDove Well-Known Member

    Is it possible to present this to your dad as something which is going to happen, whether or not he approves of it, rather than something you're considering? Also would turning things around so that you're going "you taught me how to handle myself, don't you trust that you taught me well enough to manage something like this?" work out well?
    Also, if the car and insurance for it are in your name, and you've got a valid driver's license and you're a legal adult? He can threaten to call the cops to drag you back all he wants, that doesn't mean they'll actually do it. What'll happen is that the police will check in on you to make sure you haven't been kidnapped or anything, and on seeing a grown adult who has pretty obviously not stolen the car or been kidnapped, they're more likely to go "okay, drive safe" and then move on with their day.

    For actual travel advice: if you're planning a long road trip without anyone else coming along for the ride, then you need to factor that into the amount of time it'll take you to get from point A to point B. You can't nap in the car while in transit, if you're the only driver (obviously); you'll need to make sure to stop regularly for food and washroom breaks, and figure out the amount of time you can safely drive in one day - make sure that you can find somewhere to pull off and rest for the night safely, once you've reached that limit.

    Without looking at a map, I'm guessing that the distances involved here are about the same as the ones that were involved for a trip my matesprit and I took from Nova Scotia to Georgia, for Dragoncon 2010. That was about a two-day drive down, including a stop at a motel to sleep, if I'm remembering right - possibly three days. But Matesprit was 18 and able-bodied, and it was late August, so don't take that as a solid estimate for how long it might take you. I'd consider limiting yourself to about eight hours of driving a day, and assume the trip will take at least a week for you to get there if the roads and weather cooperate.

    Make sure your car's in good working order before you start the trip. No weird rattling noises, A/C and heater work as expected (our A/C died halfway into the drive there, which was about as hellish as you'd expect), and everything generally checking out as road-safe.

    Assemble a playlist of songs that you like enough to hear for hours on end, but which won't risk lulling you to sleep. Diving is monotonous, so you need something that will help you stay alert. You also need to stay comfortable; make sure to pick up something you'll enjoy eating, for travel snacks, and don't hesitate to go for caffeinated drinks if that will help you stay awake and alert.
  3. Mossflower

    Mossflower Well-Known Member

    I've got most of that covered at the moment. My car is new but it does need a couple of new tires I'm going to use my income tax to pay for, as for distance it's around 12-15hours depending on traffic and I've got a library of over 1000 songs and a small cooler for food.

    The thing I'm most worried about is him still being upset and angry when I get back. Because I know the instant I tell him it's going to happen if he likes it or not he's going to flip.

    Now that I think about I might want to either hide my computer or take it with me. He has threatened to take it away before, and since he knows I met him online he's going to use that as an excuse. Course I paid for that myself as well so I guess I could get the authorities involved if he did but would rather nit. He can't take the internet thankfully other wise my sisters and Mom will be mad at him.
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2018
    • Agree x 1
  4. Chiomi

    Chiomi Master of Disaster

    That sounds like a shitty situation. Do you think it'd help if you texted to check in? Like, let him know at regular intervals that you're alive? I know my parents appreciate it as a courtesy so they don't worry, which sounds like it may be a, uh, somewhat milder version of what your dad is expressing.
  5. Mossflower

    Mossflower Well-Known Member

    Considering he has me do that whenever I go to work or the store maybe. No guarantees it will change his mind though.
    • Witnessed x 2
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