no such thing as too many threads: fandom screech edition

Since my other blogotth somehow became Nuzlocke: Post Edition, this is now where I were incoherently scream about fandom things that aren't related to Nuzlocke/pokemon.

Because I can. - Rayne Summers

mostly because i'm watching catradora amvs and just thinking on how. cool. it is. to feel represented in media nowadays. like so what if they're cartoons? GOOD??? CHILDREN DESERVE THAT KIND OF QUALITY IN THEIR CARTOONS. i will stan cartoons until i die A N Y W A Y

growing up I remember up through high school and college feeling just. an odd sense that i was left out. not intentionally, by anyone or anything, i just always saw people being like X IS MY FAV - BECAUSE I RELATE TO THEM SO MUCH and i had lot sof favs but none that Felt Like Me except for my own OCs.

And then something wonderful happened:

Attack on Titan.

Now, I am aware snk has a lot of Problematic Undertones And Authorship, but it also had something I had been dying for: Look at this canon motherfucking nonbinary. And they were cool! And smart! And attractive! I would have died for Hanji at the time.

(Side note: This doesn't include homestuck, because as formative as homestuck was in my life, I didn't quite connect the way many of my friends did. I adore many of them, and I wish I DID feel like I connect to Rose or Kanaya or Vriska or Eridan, but I just. Don't quite. Not on that level. Which is by no means a slight on homestuck, it has a lot of characters but it can't have literally everycharacter youknowwhatimean).

And then came Steven Universe, and look! at pearl! it's me! IT'S ME!!!! and later an assistant told me if I was a steven universe character they thought I'd be steven, and that's STILL the highest praise I think I can ever get.

then overwatch!! and tracer!!

and life is strange!! and chloe price!!

and she-ra!! and... both adora AND catra!! like!!

LOOK AT THIS RELATABLE CONTENT WHERE *WAS THIS* because like side note again as important as atla/lok were in my life also? I didn't have the "It Me" feeling. So again, lacking that feeling isn't a flaw on ANY media by any means, but to have gone 20-so years without understanding it and then WOOSH here's all this media that I can feel like me

it's grand, and I cry about it more than I should

 

PEARL IS A HUGE FUCKIN MOOD AND I LOVE HER FOR IT

 

I can't listen to It's Over Isn't It without sobbing because wow M O O D to back in the day when The Ex got chosen over me and. wow the sense of anxiety and perfection-expectation. the sense of individuality and servitude at the same time. things must be RIGHT they MUST BE or?? OR??? IT WILL BE WRONG???!!!?!?!?!?! hey let's talk about keeping a secret that would practically kill you to say wow let's not go there boys and gorls.

also i too, am very weak for very large chicks who take no shit and have boss hair.

 

like spoiler alert about me: i plan to legally change my name to Artemis Price one day. I would've used Chloe as a middle name and Oxton as a last name, except Chloe is the name of Wolfy's sister and that'd be weird so yeah. P r i c e. And man I tried HARD to make Lena fit me but it just doesn't lmao but I'm def considering a tracer tattoo on my chest one day.

L I K E YEAH I KINDA TAKE MY FANPERSONING A BIT HARDCORE I GUESS YOU COULD SAY

-slaps chloe price's name on me- i don't kin you kin leave me alone i don't even know what a kin is how dare you i breathe oxygen

 

[insert post about how this relates to WAYYY too many of my favourite characters and ships and fic concepts]

 

Let Me Tell You About My Moicy Playlist, i say to an empty room

I wish I was as good at words I was at thoughts because I have so much inside and I... it's not that I'm bad at expressing it, necessarily, I know I have a Certain Level Of Competence Above Average when it comes to wordthings, and yet I feel so infinitely and infernally frustratedtrying to explain anything, because it's like words exist in only 2-dimensions but my thoughts are 3-dimensional and trying to put it down like that necessitates not giving you the whole breadth of the idea, of reducing the emotions and the spiderweb of connections and allusions and allegory and frame of reference, because no amount of words about a thing can be the thing and -philosophical implosion-

 

Spoiler: Mercy (overwatch snapshot fic, 426 words)

Mercy is an atheist.

She know the assumptions — the healing light, confused for holy light, the wings, the call sign. All practical, all material, and yet so many can't resist making assumptions. Sometimes, she wonders if they take everything a little too literally, some of the more zealous fans.

But Angela Ziegler does not believe in God. She does not believe in any other god, either, or any kind of higher power or celestial being. She seemed too much to think that somewhere out there exists a being of pure benevolence.

She knows sometimes people think she's that being.

She also knows herself better than that.

Nobody talks about the pistol she carries, and nobody talks about the bodies she leaves behind, because power isn't infinite, and for everybody who gets saved, there somebody who doesn't.

And even further inside, and nobody sees the hate she crumples up in a ball at the end of the day and stuff down, deep down, down inside her stomach to keep it from coming back up in her throat and spewing out. She feels hate, and she hates that she feels hate, and it's an infinite snake inside her that she doesn't know how to purge from her system and what she wants to become the snake herself and let it consume all of her.

She hates the way humans have gone out of their way to find ways to hurt each other like this, gone above and beyond the call of duty when it comes to crafting ways of destroying somebody you don't like.

She hates the sense of failure and the way it makes it about herself when somebody dies on her field, on her operating table. Somebody fucking dies, and who does Angela feel sorry for? Angela feels sorry for Angela, because she wasn't fucking good enough. She gets mad at the body, because it had the audacity to die when she was doing everything she could.

How dare they die in front of her.

How dare they —

Mercy doesn't cry, because Mercy is in the name of a person, it's a concept, an ideal, a trade people assigned to people better than themselves. So Mercy doesn't cry, and neither does Angela Ziegler, because she's never allowed to not show mercy.

Mercy is an atheist, because if there was a God, He'd have hell to pay for what He put them through, and verdammt, she cannot stand the thought of having to get up and fight another battle and she's already in the middle of one.

 

(I feel like scenes like this encapsulate my thoughts on characters best, but nobody wants to read fanfic that is actually just a few hundred words of a single scene with no connection to anything before or after it) (no it's not a set of vignettes that's DIFFERENT i just can't articulate the distinction) (reasons art likes 5+1 fics)

 

8:39-8:52

13 minutes is the maximum time it took me to do 400 words.

This is why people who don't like writing essays or whatever baffle me, because what do you mean it takes you hours to write a single page, I just kind of (to put in uncleanly) vomit out writing wholesale. The same way characters just... happen. They're either they fully fleshed, if a bit unrefined, or they're not there at all. I spit them up from someplace where they already are.

That's not to say my writing doesn't need editing/revising, but as far as just... getting it out? It's just a matter of getting it out.

I used to write 2000+ word posts for a challenge on a fantasy/crack forum. Just. Because? Because. We could. Because I could and I wanted to. And depending on interruptions and school and other projects it would take me two hours or two days but golly certainly not more than that.

 

the reason nano gives me such trouble is because if you haven't noticed just itt my ability to dedicate myself to one thing for 50,000 words is much more difficult than producing say 1000 words on 50 different things

 

sometimes i feel like a bad autistic because my perseveration is much more erratic than what-feels-like-everyone-else and has like a dozen things it hops around among instead of having The One Focus

 

@Acey spoilered list of songfic ideas circa 2016?? i stand corrected circa 2015

(aka do u remember when i said i had an excel spreadsheet... witht he goal of... a fic for every gemship.... LITERALLY every... single... pairing)

Spoiler: long list is long

Steven Universe: "Pyromania" -- Cascada
Ruby & Jasper [[Carnelian]]
Steven Universe: "Enemy" -- Cascada
Garnet & Peridot / Lapis & Peridot
Steven Universe: "Over You" -- Daughtry
Pearl getting over Rose Quartz for Amethyst
Steven Universe: "Home" -- Daughtry
Amethyst & Pearl
Steven Universe: "Feels Like Tonight" -- Daughtry
Amedot
Steven Universe: "What About Now" -- Daughtry
Alexandrite (Opal to Garnet)
Steven Universe: "It's Not Over" -- Daughtry
Jasper at Yellow Diamond
Steven Universe: "spaceship" -- Daughtry
RQ looking across the stars
Steven Universe: "Renegade" -- Daughtry
Peridot & Lapis lappy do you want to tell hw to gtfo or not
Steven Universe: "Savin' Me" -- Nickelback
Jaspis lapis needs jasper's strength from malachite
Steven Universe: "Someday" -- Nickelback
Jaspidot peridot looking to save Jasper from Malachite
Steven Universe: "Gotta Be Somebody" -- Nickelback
Connie & Steven
Steven Universe: "If Everyone Cared" -- Nickelback
RQ & Garnet
Steven Universe: "Next Contestant" -- Nickelback
Jealous Pearl & Rose Quartz
Steven Universe: "Diamonds" -- Rihanna (Shine Bright Like A--)
Jaspis jasper is so in worship with lapis kk
Steven Universe: "Don't Stop the Music" -- Rihanna
Amethyst & Sardonyx
Steven Universe: "Only Girl (In The World)" -- Rihanna
RQ & Alexandrite
Steven Universe: "The Monster" -- Rihanna
Malachite
Steven Universe: Hate (I Really Don't Like You) -- Plain White T's
Peridot & Yellow Diamond
Steven Universe: "Gimme A Chance" -- Plain White T's
Peridot & Lapis
Steven Universe: "So Damn Clever" -- Plain White T's
Jasper --> Lapis she thought it was real
Steven Universe: "Sad Story" -- Plain White T's
Lapis lamenting
Steven Universe: "Shine" -- Plain White T's
Pearl beseeching Peridot
Steven Universe: "Swallowed in the Sea" -- Coldplay
Garnet (Ruby/Sapphire) & Malachite (Jasper/Lapis)
Steven Universe: "Paradise" -- Coldplay
Blue Diamond
Steven Universe: "True Love" -- Coldplay
Ruby & RQ
Steven Universe: "March to the Sea" -- Twenty One Pilots
Ruby & RQ/Pearl?
Steven Universe: "Glad You Came" -- The Wanted
Pearl --> Lapis
Steven Universe: "You Give Love a Bad Name" -- Bon Jovi
Opal & Rose Quartz [[moonstone?]]
Steven Universe: "When I'm Gone" -- 3 Doors Down
RQ & Pearl
Steven Universe: "Shut Up and Dance with Me" -- Walk the Moon
Pearl & Jasper
Steven Universe: "Better Than Sex" -- Halifax
Jasper & Garnet
Steven Universe: "Jar of Hearts" -- Christina Perri
Lapis & Garnet
Steven Universe: "Genie in a Bottle" -- Christina Aguilera
Jaspis lapisssssssss o bb
Steven Universe: "Love Me Like You Do" -- Ellie Goulding
Pearl & Garnet
Steven Universe: "Beautiful Monster" -- Ne-Yo
Jasper & Pearl
Steven Universe: "Bleeding Love" -- Leona Lewis
Ruby & Sapphire
Steven Universe: "Halo" -- Beyonce
Lapis & Yellow Diamond
Steven Universe: "Sweet Dreams" -- Eurythmics
Blue Diamond & Yellow Diamond
Steven Universe: "I Don't Want To Be" -- Gavin DeGraw
Peridot & Garnet
Steven Universe: "Hanging By A Moment" -- Lifehouse
Sapphire & Ruby
Steven Universe: "Lonely No More" -- Rob Thomas
Amethyst & Garnet (Sugilite)
Steven Universe: "Dangerous and Moving" -- tATu
Sugilite & Yellow Diamond hatehatehate
Steven Universe: "Perfect Enemy" -- tATu
Peridot & Pearl rivalspades
Steven Universe: "Friend or Foe" -- tATu
Peridot & Sugilite idontknowhowtodealwithyou
Steven Universe: "Candelight" -- Imogen Heap
Lapis Lazuli
Steven Universe: "Goodnight and Go" -- Imogen Heap
Amethyst & Peridot smol qts
Steven Universe: "Earth" -- Imogen Heap
Yellow Diamond & Jasper
Steven Universe: "Hello" -- Adele
Sapphire to Blue Diamond
Steven Universe: "Dynamite" -- Taio Cruz
Ruby & Amethyst
Steven Universe: "Stay (I Missed You)" -- Lisa Loeb
Peridot & Pearl
Steven Universe: "Hello" -- Adele
Rose Quartz to Rose Quartz and Steven
Steven Universe: "Nothing Would Be Better" -- Nick Jonas
Jasper & RQ
Steven Universe: "I Want You" -- Nick Jonas
YD & Malachite
Steven Universe: "Push Me, Pull You" -- Spor
Alexandrite & Malachite lovehate hero complex is weird
Steven Universe: "Big Love" -- True Tiger ft. Maiday (Haze Remix)
Malachite & Garnet
Steven Universe: "Know Us" -- Jillian Ann ft. Love & Light
Garnet & Rose Quartz don't you want to fight homeworld g
Steven Universe: "Girl Is On Fire" -- Alicia Keys
Ruby & Pearl fusion
Steven Universe: "Your Type" -- Carly Rae Jepsen
Peridot & Malachite ilu jasper no matter who u become
Steven Universe: "Powerful" -- Major Lazer
Sapphire & Ruby
Steven Universe: "You're All I Have" -- Snow Patrol
Pearl on Alexandrite in RQ's absence
Steven Universe: "Battle Scars" -- Guy Sebastian
YD vs RQ long ago
Steven Universe: "Wrecking Ball" -- Miley Cyrus
Rose Quartz will always want you Jasper
Steven Universe: "Ammunition" -- Krewella
YD & Peridot
Steven Universe: "War of Hearts" -- Ruelle
Jaspis
Steven Universe: "Storm" -- Ruelle
Garnet & Lapis
Steven Universe: "I Found" -- Amber Run
Lapidot

(it all says Steven Universe: in front because it's cut from a .txt of ALL my fanfic ideas at the time, so it was alphabetically differentiated from other fandoms)

 

i don’t know many of those songs but holy hell i dig what i do know...good shit art

 

Daughtry, Nickelback, Coldplay, Rihanna, Plain White T's... 2015 was an interesting year for me musically l m a o

AND THEN WE BUST OUT THE RANDOM SHIT

idk how well any of these hold up now so let's find out



If somebody's out there
Show me that you care
Give me a sign that comes outta nowhere
Like a shooting star
Or maybe life on Mars
Something inside tells me
we can't be too far 'cause
I can see me on a spaceship leaving here only to find
that we're not the only ones

yeah still good notthatimbiasedoranythingbut

 

honestly now you’re just making me want to do a bunch of su shipping stuff set to tmbg songs

 

Thought that I was in control
And in my mind you were mine, what did I know?
I didn't listen when they said
That you were fake, manipulating boys to bed
I thought they had you wrong
The morning you were gone
Every time I see you face
I can see the games you play
Nobody can break hearts better
Why do you have to be so damn clever?
Turns you on
Always getting what you want
Made me believe that we'd be together
Why do you have to be so damn clever?

 

I'm not the type of girl for you
And I'm not going to pretend
I'm the type of girl you call more than a friend
And I break all the rules for you
Break my heart and start again
I'm not the type of girl you call more than a friend
I bet she acts so perfectly
You probably eat up every word she says
And if you ever think of me
I bet I'm just a flicker in your head



I can't help but be wrong in the dark
'Cause I'm overcome in this war of hearts
I can't help but want oceans to part
'Cause I'm overcome in this war of hearts

 

(if anyone doesn't know ruelle, discover and drown in ruelle dramatic feelings with me)

 

-watches ancient amvs and cries because South Of Nowhere had no lasting impact on the world and culture but it was why i started to feel like maybe being gay in high school wasn't the worst thing i could be-

I had to watch it late at night in the guest room because I knew there'd be, way too many questions, if I watched it in the living room and i just

wanted to feel hopeful that if they could be happy and real i could be happy and real and okay

like

list of actors and actresses i wish I could meet, spencer and ashley and aiden, because man, that show changed my life in some sense

 

Just ftr fyi jic u wondered, no it is not possible to over-spam me with reactions or replies

@ general u out there in the universe

this message brought to u by @Erica 's like on my mercy shit and my mood just went from hovering in the single digits with back-ache from work and day 6 headache, to 100% full on happies