okay so

Discussion in 'The Undercity' started by seebs, Feb 17, 2017.

  1. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    We have more Secret User drama, and I feel the need to point out a thing:

    I try to be super careful about user privacy, and will often willfully ignore information that might let me draw conclusions about relationships between user accounts. I've gone out of my way to remove information about subaccount relationships from some pages, and stuff.

    But.

    If, hypothetically, someone were going around trolling, and I had pretty solid evidence tying that to another account? I would not feel like it was a big privacy thing to let people know who had been sending them all those trolling and harassing messages. Just sayin', you know?

    Which is to say: I am really not in the mood, I'm not even supposed to be here today, etcetera. If I have to do things, I will do things. If I am in a bad mood and frustrated when I have to do things, they may be things that some people don't like much. I would strongly suggest that it might be a really cool idea to just stop harassing people and stirring shit. Because I am really, really, not in the mood.

    (And to be clear: This is directed at Wildspyer, not anyone else who doesn't share various posting fingerprints with them.)
     
    • Like x 8
  2. Technicality

    Technicality All's fair in love and shitposting

    I mean, this is applicable pretty much anywhere.
    In regards to the rest of the post, I mostly agree. Maybe not posting that publicly unless it was something really super egregious (eg suicide baiting). Like, mild insults? Maybe just a PM to the people that were affected (who could let you know privately), and a PM to the puppeteer telling them to knock it off. But if it's something more harmful then I do think that publicly connecting the accounts would be justified.
    And also, the notice system is pretty neat, might be of use in the future to say "hi Kintsugi is going down in like 20 minutes 'kay?"
     
    • Like x 3
  3. leo

    leo Well-Known Member

    The issue is splash damage. Even people who weren't involved, or even commented, got hurt.
     
    • Like x 2
  4. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    There was some pretty egregious shit in there, and I was sort of inclined to say "whatever, they made their point and stopped". Then more similar shit started showing up.

    So we'll see how this goes.
     
    • Like x 2
  5. leo

    leo Well-Known Member

    Seebs, do you mind if we continue our DM conversation? Or would you rather me move that here.
     
  6. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    the PM thing is fine, I just wanted to post this out here because I figure there's some chance that the user in question will miraculously grow the fuck up. and if not, i want people to be aware that, yeah, you can totally piss me off enough that i will do things.

    Contrast, BTW, with a number of previous cases where people who have a history of explosive meltdowns made new accounts to continue arguments. You'll note that in all of those cases, they fessed up pretty much immediately. Because, when not melting down, they actually wanted to work on things. Which I thought was sorta cool.
     
    • Like x 3
  7. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    The suspect has been sent a pm, since ip address isn't the most solid evidence ever. We'll need to wait on that interaction I think.
     
    • Like x 1
  8. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    Confirmation get. User is pretty fucked up over some stuff, because it turns out that "has mental health problems" is pretty common around here.

    So basically, I'm gonna do the same thing I always do, which is try to encourage people to reconcile and make shit right and get better. Dunno if it'll work.
     
    • Like x 4
  9. leo

    leo Well-Known Member

    Could you pretty-please ask them why they specifically went after Michi and me in their latest sub, if you are not going to reveal the account? Though that can be taken as, you're going to reveal the account.
     
  10. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    I'm gonna quote a thing from their response PM, because I think it's pretty relevant:

    So, basically: The fights with Alix were triggery and upsetting and someone lost their shit over it partially because of parallels to things they were seeing.

    And I know Alix isn't a blameless victim here, Alix has totally hurt people. But the demonizing, even if it was just venting, is the kind of thing that a fair number of people have seen way too much of. And sometimes people having really intense emotions fuck up.

    So, they said they're nuking social media presence and such, but I've asked them to consider trying to reconcile, make things right, etcetera. Because I think a bunch of people here are owed apologies, but I also think it wouldn't hurt to consider that if the way you're treating someone reminds someone traumatized that strongly of shit that happens to them, that could be taken as a red flag that something's wrong.

    Executive summary: Crazy people set each other off, not always intentionally, and it's just an overall clusterfuck. No good guys who have done nothing wrong ever, no bad guys who have done nothing good ever, just a bunch of people with emotions they can't always handle. Blah.
     
    • Like x 9
  11. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    I feel I should point out, "sub" isn't really the right term. I mean, technically the Untamed account was a "sub", but it was a sub of a brand-new account that was made recently.

    I dunno, man. I'm hoping they decide to try to engage and give out some apologies and stuff, but if they don't, I probably won't see them again. Bleh.
     
    • Like x 1
  12. leo

    leo Well-Known Member

    I understand the urge to start over, but I agree that some people are owed apologies. I am 100% in favor of talking things through, as one of the people who had gotten hurt-- can you pass that onto them?
     
    • Like x 1
  13. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    I assume they're reading or will read this thread.
     
  14. AbsenteeLandlady123

    AbsenteeLandlady123 Chronically screaming

    They are probably reading this thread. I'd assume from that that they'll contact you if they want to do that thing c:
     
  15. leo

    leo Well-Known Member

    Coming from you, the admin personally, might do a bit of help though. IMHO.
     
  16. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    eh, i already told them my thoughts. i dunno whether they'll read them again.

    I dunno, guys. I'm just really tired.
     
    • Like x 2
  17. Technicality

    Technicality All's fair in love and shitposting

    Get some sleep. Things almost always look better in the morning.
    Unless you meant tired of the situation? Or maybe both? I'm awful at multiple meanings I'm sorry
     
    • Like x 1
  18. AbsenteeLandlady123

    AbsenteeLandlady123 Chronically screaming

    Damn it seebs, take your vacation. Do it. Do it now.
     
    • Like x 8
  19. leo

    leo Well-Known Member

    I understand.

    User, if you are reading: I don't actually bite. I am willing to talk this through, and drop it, once given a conversation and an apology. I can work you through personally with Michinyo. Please DM me, and if you'd rather do this over another form of contact, DM on one of your other accounts.
     
    • Like x 2
  20. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    both, really

    just... i see so many people act badly, and you know what, every single fucking time it has been because they were in pain and weren't handling it well

    and yet, somehow, "maybe they are really hurt and maybe we could find out what's hurting them and try to change it" is virtually never the first response

    people, i'm not asking you to be saints. i'm asking you to do a thing that gets better results.
     
    • Like x 2
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