okay so

something something unity

 

I do not understand you a lot of the time rigs, and that's okay x3

 

I don't understand what was being quoted at all. I just threw in random shit that seemed relevant.

(side note: "I just threw in random shit that seemed relevant" is basically me in a nutshell)

 

I just quoted a patriotic song about Australian multiculturalism

 

The Island of Dr. Moreau is what the refrance

 

I love how y'all just ad libbed some biblical chanting, a+

 

I know this isn't what you meant but it was immediately where my mind went

 

I want to post that stupid image from that one really edgy comic where old Superman punches an android while screaming "I AM A MAN" but I'm afraid few would get the joke or context

So instead you get this post

Congratulations



Edit: eh fuck it

Spoiler: i am a man

 

This is what I meant but yours is good too

 

On a non-shitpost-y note I'm glad we know who this is now and that it's hopefully done. MAY THE ANON SAGA BE LAID TO REST. I liked the Cell Saga better anyway.

 

I understand. I think it's fair to not expect anyone targeted by someone acting badly to do this work, however, and fair to allow anyone disappointed to be so, within the boundaries of decent behavior. (I can't tell if this is implied or not, but I wanted to make it explicit either way.)

(hopefully I removed the bit that pings correctly since someone needs to stick to his vacation and get some dang rest already :P)

 

Kintsugi: I apologise for the panic and unrest caused by my actions over the last four days.


@michinyo In particular I would like to apologise to you for bearing the brunt of my ire in ways which were certainly not appropriate. It was one of your posts which sent me into deep rage territory, through no fault of your own, but I will not make excuses for my actions. This was not a coping method or a disorder, this was an explosion, and it has affected everyone negatively.

Your information was not and is not in danger of being released anywhere, and I’ve only ever interacted with you here on Kintsugi and seen your name in passing on Flight Rising.

@ASPD Anon Apologies again for the choice of words used to you, and I intend to redouble future efforts to ensure that posts I make cannot be misinterpreted simply because the casual language I am sadly used to using with my awful gallows-humour friends does not translate well to internet.

@leo I apologise for confusing you with someone else entirely on this board, and for not picking up on the mistake until well after the fact. I do, in fact, have you and your main on ignore. I am unsure how this mix up happened, but it is undoubtedly my worse-than-useless brain getting wires crossed somewhere. I also apologise for insulting you and choosing to continue engaging in hostility.

@Vivec My apologies.

@Aqua Vitae My apologies.

@evilas My apologies.

@Mercury The response in leo’s thread to your post was a reaction to the reinforcement of myself as irredeemable. I understand if you think this and are disappointed, and if this colours your perceptions of all of my previous actions I think that’s understandable. My apologies for any of your time wasted on expending thought or emotional energy on this lost cause.

@Birdy I apologise if I offended you and insulted in my posts, but most of them were in the spirit of terrible gallows humour (see above). I should not be interacting with others in this way outside of the friend group who bond over dreadful insults and beyond the pale statements.

@paintcat Apologies. Fucking off as of now, at least for an extended break.

@Petra you weren’t involved, I took your post in thread to be defending your friend group, and regardless of whether it was or was not, I should not have immediately jumped to insults, so I apologise for that.

@palindromordnilap I tried to prove a point and your name was the one which was currently in the crosshairs. This was a shitty thing to do and I had no right. I did not send you any messages outside of the single deleted one in your vent thread, on any social media.

@KathyGaele you are too patient and kind for words. Thank you.

@ everyone who took part in my fucking stupid drama-mongering thread: yes I am pathetic, terrible, a douchebag, lazy, unclever. I take exception to the characterisation of apologies given at the time as back-pedalling, however, as I find accusations of such are escalations of hostility.



I am not deleting any posts from Kintsugi. My history will remain open for all to see, although some images may disappear. How you choose to treat the information disclosed is, as always, a choice for your own consciences.


If you wish to block me on social media:


Flight Rising: HellfireLover #23435


Tumblr: hellfirelover.tumblr.com


fiendsinhighplaces.tumblr.com


inconsequential.tumblr.com


dryproseforbreakfast.tumblr.com

hellfiredragons.tumblr.com


Email: hellfirelover@gmail.com is being closed. Commissions email is being closed. I am no longer taking art commissions or selling 2d or 3d arts/crafts anywhere online.


NaNoWriMo: hellfirelover - Will be deleting/closing later today.



The Holler Closet is not a subforum I tend to visit, recognising it as a danger, but the last lot of drama over palin splashed so far out I got curious. Curiosity killed the cat indeed.

Full disclosure: I have always had a terrible, dangerous temper which has hurt people in the past, and which lately I’ve tried to mitigate to simply hurting myself physically in private instead of flinging books at friends, whipping someone who insulted me with my belt, or using a knife on a partner’s arm (who admittedly was abusive, but that is no excuse.) I was a weightlifter and boxer from ages 14 to last year to divert my anger, I practised yoga and primal scream therapy, and I only occasionally hurt myself badly, although suicide was always an option at the back of my mind.

I am now so physically disabled that I am unable to burn off anger cleanly and I therefore consider myself a threat to those around me and to myself. I had hoped that this forum would not bear any of my anger. I was wrong and I should have removed myself from my social circles as soon as I realised that. That I did not was an epic-level mistake which I hope to now rectify.

@Beldaran, @Xavius, seebs: I have been a menace and I am sorry you were left wading through my subhuman monkey screaming.

This account will continue to be open but if mods could ban sub-accounts Salad Snek and Zea Mays and primary-accounts Wildspyer and Manalyst if would be appreciated. Could you also please ban subaccount privileges on this account and ban from The Holler Closet at admin level so I am unable to circumvent it.

Thank you all for your unwarranted patience.

Jaz

 

@hellfirelover no offense taken, I wasn't hurt by any of what you said. In fact, I apologize if anything *I* said was beyond the pale, since I was being pretty discourteous in our interactions, engaging Wildspyer as a fun puzzle and not a human with actual problems.

Good on you for apologizing. I hope you can find a safe way to deal with your anger, and that you can feel a little better.

 

Can someone please tell Jaz I'd rather have a conversation than getting blocked?

 

For what it is worth, I think those were excellent apologies and it takes a lot of courage to do that. I hope you stick around, but I understand if you feel like you can't do that at the moment. If you need to talk about things and don't feel comfortable doing so in a public setting, my inbox is open both here and on tumblr.

 

If Jaz has you on ignore that implies they don't want to engage for one reason or another I think?

ETA: How the heck do people manage subaccounts I keep misclicking

 

I mean if they're worried that I'm going to be an asshole.

 

@hellfirelover I'm disappointed, but mostly I'm worried about you. I've had temper problems of my own in the past and I understand how awful it can be. I'm formally offering you my ear as well - please feel free to contact me here or on tumblr. (I'll also be giving you a nudge out of my own volition, because: worried.)

 

I can't even manage being me. trying to be not-me would add a level of confusion that would defy mathematicians to describe