okay so

Discussion in 'The Undercity' started by seebs, Feb 17, 2017.

  1. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    @hellfirelover As I said in pm's, I understand what you're going through, I really appreciate your apology, and I forgive you for briefly being a menace.

    I hope your break from social media helps, and I look forward to seeing you around again if you feel comfortable and safe.
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2017
    • Like x 8
  2. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    @hellfirelover I'm glad you apologized, but I hope you won't hold it against me that I can't accept it right now cause I'm still just... really mad over it. Not for the sake of myself necessarily, but for the fact that you talked about my baby niece who is an unrelated person in this and that's.... really fucked up.
     
    • Like x 3
  3. Aqua Vitae

    Aqua Vitae put some honey and sea water by your bed.

    Rather than an apology that I'd imagine was very begrudgingly given due to the reluctance to do so earlier, I'd prefer an explanation of the message you gave me. If it had any point at all other than to hurt me, I'd like to hear it.

    If that's impossible to do civilly, nevermind.
     
    • Like x 2
  4. Starcrossedsky

    Starcrossedsky Burn and Refine

    As someone who was uninvolved for the most part, I find you trash-talking yourself in your general apology to be really unpleasantly manipulative. The whole thing, in fact, reads as pretty emotionally manipulative in a "see how horrible I am, now tell me I'm not" way, for things like that and the extensive list of social media.

    In the future, maybe don't do that.
     
    • Like x 6
  5. chthonicfatigue

    chthonicfatigue Bitten by a radioactive trickster god

    Not intentional, and I'm well aware no-one is under obligation to like, comfort, accept or otherwise interact with me in any way they do not want to, and have provided users information & means to avoid me if they wish. I am not sure how I could have communicated this more clearly. I am sorry you found this manipulative and will attempt to mitigate this. I will not take umbrage at anyone who wishes to block me for their own comfort and wellbeing and if they want me to block them so I cannot see their posts I will oblige.
     
    • Like x 1
  6. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    Thank you @Starcrossedsky cause I was thinking that too but didn't know if it was just me being uncharitable.
     
    • Like x 1
  7. Starcrossedsky

    Starcrossedsky Burn and Refine

    @hellfirelover In the future, don't... knock yourself as much in your apology, that's what comes off manipulative. Apologies should be saying "I fucked up," not "I am a fuck up," because the point of an apology is for the person you wronged, not for you to punish yourself.

    It's a pretty common abuse flea to apologize in that way, because a lot of abusers only ever apologize that way - by making it all about themselves instead of the person hurt, and of course if that's your only model for apologies that's how you're going to think they work. Not saying that's your situation, but I know that it's the situation for a lot of other people I've seen apologize that way in the past.

    (For record: I am not angry, I just also will not attempt to stop the people who are from being angry. No horse in this race for me.)
     
    • Like x 6
  8. palindromordnilap

    palindromordnilap Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the apology anyway. I don't really know what else to say, sorry.
     
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