Okay so among the things that FUCKING DRIVE ME UP THE WALL with my mum is that she has this weird fixation on my smell. Like I'll have had a perfectly normal day where I showered and shaved and be perfectly clean as far as I can tell - and then she'll come home and be like 'uh, you're a bit on the nose.' Things on her side - I have a poor sense of smell. She has a very keen sense of smell. I HATE DEODORANT and I mean really really hate it sperglord sensory-wise everything about it is horrible and yes even the rollerball kind it's awful and slimy and makes me feel sick to put under my arms. (the spray kind is worse because I always manage to inhale the fucker I hate it so much) And I hate it even more when she basically forces me to use it. Things on my side - SHE IS LITERALLY THE ONLY PERSON WHO TAKES ISSUE WITH IT. I've never ever had another friend or relative come up to me like 'dude you're stinky'. I realise this might be the weird human thing where you're not allowed to say 'bad' things to each other (I don't get it if it's something I can change then I will go put some aftershave on or have a shower or something why would I be offended?) but I can't help but feel like she's the only one who even gives a shit if wow, a human being actually smells like a human instead of whatever fuck-off godawful chemicals they've rolled in. Can someone just idek just give me somewhere to go with this HOW DO I FIGURE HOW WHO'S RIGHT. (Also are there any other types of deodorant I can try I just HATE THE TWO KINDS I KNOW. SO MUCH.)
I recall that @rainbowbarnacle 's mom pulled the same shit on her. Baking soda can make a pretty good deodorant! What I used to do was mix it half and half with cornstarch and keep it in a little container with a cotton ball I'd put a few drops of an essential oil I liked on. I brushed it on with a fluffy makeup brush. (I can't use it anymore because I developed bizarre skin issues but while I used it it worked really well, and I sweat like a racehorse.)
Have used Crystal Spring deodorant (when skiing, to be precise) and can verify that it does stop any nasty pongs but doesn't stop the sweat flowing. A column of this stuff seems to last forever. My thermoregulation is shot to absolute hell and it works for me. You can also get pads which absorb sweat to stick to your underarm area but they seem a little bit wtf for wearing outside of film or stage wear - I can understand them for not ruining a costume under ridic hot stage lights but for not for everyday use. So uncomfy. I'm fidgeting at the thought.
All I can say is that my mom used to pull this shit on me (as well as randomly coming in my room and opening the window when i lived at home :|) and it's made me super paranoid about cleanliness and it SUCKS. I'd say if you have a friend you can trust to be level with you, say "look this might be a weird question but I have a poor sense of smell. Please be honest with me, I won't be offended" and ask them to confirm or deny. Then maybe you can start working on the problem, if there actually is one. If you do have underarm hair, you can use shampoo on it and it should help stop smells from lingering. If not, idk, but I actually stopped shaving because the hair would pull sweat away from my skin and stop the nastiness from happening as much.
aah yeah I've been there :( my mother has an oversensitive sense of smell (to the point where other people's perfume makes her gag) and I was born with no sense of smell, so she used that on me an awful lot. She's definitely one of those sorts of people who wears powders and lotions to cover themselves up, and so anything remotely human smelling is automatically "bad"--I thought I had BO all the time and that it wouldn't go away no matter what I did, and then imagine my shock when I moved out and people told me I rarely stank at all. I've talked with a lot of people with good noses, and so far baking soda has definitely been the best as far as scentless deodorizers go. I keep a box near the sink, and all I gotta do is wet my fingers, dab a bit of powder under each arm and underboob, and I'm good for the day. The only downside I've noticed is that every once and awhile does tend to show a bit if I put on a lot of it and I end up sweating a lot and I'm wearing dark clothes, but since it's just baking soda it doesn't leave a permanent stain and washes right out. (And if it happens unexpectedly, sometimes I'll sneak into a bathroom and get a paper towel wet and wipe the fabric down and that's enough to keep it from being noticeable.) It doesn't happen very often with me though. For the record, I don't shave anywhere and use this stuff pretty regularly, and most people tell me I smell a bit like clean laundry, so I think maybe this stuff will work pretty well for you. I also second the advice to have your friends tell you what you smell like--it does wonders for me, and the more you learn about what you smell like and how much you smell during different times of the day (when you're sweaty, when you're not, after you've showered, wearing different clothes, etc) the less "evidence" your mother will have against you.
Thanks for your advice, guys! I might try with making some of those home mix solid bars that I've seen the recipes of online. (@Mercury I read that baking soda can cause skin issues - maybe that was what caused your irritants in the first place XD)
Oh my god same. I don't have any useful advice, just solidarity. (Actually, the kicker is that both my mom and I have poor sense of smell, but I know that I have smelled bad in the past due to looooong periods of being unable to wash my body or clothes. But even when I'm on it, and clean, and wearing deodorant, my mom tells me I smell so often that I'm sure it can't be 100% accurate every time she says it!) (...and apparently she does the same to my brother, who does shower and do laundry? Cause one time recently he went off on a half-asleep grumblerant at her about how "you do this EVERY morning! You come in and wake me up and tell me I smell!!") Maybe it's a mom thing.
Well, yeah, baking soda is a base and having too much of a base on your skin for too long will cause irritation because it saponifies the fats in your skin, but that wasn't what was happening with me - my skin problem came years after I used a baking soda mix for deodorant and kind of all at once, all over - for a couple of years I couldn't tolerate any product with dyes, scents, or most detergents or soaps without all of my skin getting inflamed. It's eased up in the years since (I can use scented shampoo in a pinch, but scented soaps are still a bad idea), but I'm still really, really sensitive and have to be super careful with the products I use. If I use baking soda now it's much more irritating to my skin than it would be to most people, because I react so badly to substances that are basic in pH. My experience is not typical, basically. Baking soda cut with an innocuous body safe powder and brushed on is pretty skin friendly, and you'll find a lot of those home mix solid bars have baking soda as part of the ingredients list.
