present questions

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by keltka, Dec 23, 2018.

  1. keltka

    keltka the green and brown one

    I'm trying to debug why I'm so Peeved about people like

    so it's my first christmas with my future in-laws and my partners siblings and her mom keep Assuming she's going to go in with them (her siblings) on gifts and shit even though we've repeatedly stated that we were/were planning on doing joint gifts for most things

    and even sometimes directly stated that a particular gift was one we'd done and/or were doing jointly

    and this has been upsetting me greatly, but I'm not...entirely sure why?? I'd like to know the Why so I can deal with it or find a way to counter it or decide on how I approach People Assuming Things
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  2. keltka

    keltka the green and brown one

    further side note: we've done gifts/other stuff for her family prior to christmas and p much all of those have been specifically Us As A Couple or if not, Us Going In Together On Something With Someone Else
  3. dobedobedo

    dobedobedo Member

    it's probably because it's essentially assuming you don't matter. why would your partner want to do a joint gift with you when she's got her Much More Important parents and siblings to do joint gifts with?
    That's a good reason to get mad, people ignoring your stated plans and behaving in ways that intrinsically sort of other you.
    • Agree x 1
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  4. keltka

    keltka the green and brown one

    yeah that...yeah it sucks and that explains it

    ....another thing I've realized is that it's also kind of, "dangerous" is putting it a bad way, but we're supposed to be aggregating proof that we're in a Real and Committed Relationship and shit like this undermines that....
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