Profile post discussion [split]

Discussion in 'The Undercity' started by AbsenteeLandlady123, May 31, 2016.

  1. swirlingflight

    swirlingflight inane analysis and story spinning is my passion

    Oh. Right. I didn't intend to assert that Kathy did anything wrong, but I see now that I was thinking she did.

    Others told her to give a specific example, and so she did so. And she's pointed to that (and the fact that she didn't know who made the post she referred to) as reasons why she doesn't understand what Prismatic is asking. But that parses to me as an excuse, a "well I couldn't help it, I had to answer the question right then and there, because I felt pressured to do so." I make worse decisions when I feel pressured, and I assume that others do as well, so I've been thinking of it as irresponsible to capitulate to that pressure.

    That was a douchey thing of me to be thinking and implying. Sorry, Kathy. I didn't mean to say you did anything wrong, it looks like you were trying your best to make the conversation go smoothly, and the method you used just turned out to be nonoptimal. That's not your fault.
     
    • Like x 3
  2. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    Feelings are often irrational, doesn't make them invalid. I can totally see your concern. It's one of those situations where perfectly reasonable choices end up creating an unintended outcome. FWIW, I am pretty sure no one intended at all to hold you up as an example of the thing, and if I were looking for examples, I'd probably have picked different ones; I think it was just that this was a particularly recent post.
     
    • Like x 2
  3. AbsenteeLandlady123

    AbsenteeLandlady123 Chronically screaming

    No, it wasn't, because look:
    You left out a chunk.
    It really looks like you've got a personal problem with @Beldaran at this point, and are reading uncharitably into her posts, and then your misquote sent the whole thread off track.
     
    • Like x 5
  4. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    Part of that, I think, may be: I don't think there's a consistent or universal agreement here. Some people would probably have strongly preferred to not be specifically identified. Others might strongly prefer to be specifically identified or alerted so they could take part. And the request for an example isn't obviously unreasonable or anything. And it seems in general reasonable to me to just say "I don't remember the details, but there was a post like X". I mean, I do that all the time because I don't remember details very well. But then if a specific person comes along and says "hey, that was about me", suddenly you have social rule clashes.
     
    • Like x 3
  5. Secret Squirrel

    Secret Squirrel certainly something

    Quoting myself since it got a bit buried and I would genuinely like feedback.
     
    • Like x 1
  6. AbsenteeLandlady123

    AbsenteeLandlady123 Chronically screaming

    Thank you <33
     
  7. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    I have no idea. I will investigate.
     
    • Like x 1
  8. unknownanonymous

    unknownanonymous i am inimitable, i am an original|18+

    this issue seems like one of those things that happen on kintsugi sometimes, when we try so hard to solve a thing and overthink it so much that we just end up creating new problems that weren't there before. like, i think we'd already done the most we can do with @swirlingflight's status idea, the freezer thread in brainbent, adblocking, and @Avery's idea of taking New Profile Posts off the front page and to a link instead.

    i mean, seriously, i get that we have good intentions here, but sometimes we just need to chill and step away from the topic. admit that we've done all we could and that more discussion will just heat things up too much.
     
    • Like x 7
  9. prismaticvoid

    prismaticvoid Too Too Abstract

    Yeah, the thing that bugged me was that it was specific enough for me to identify what post people were referring to. Idk if there's a solution really, just trying to clarify.
    I do think that as far as specific Things to Do go coming up with a way to make the profile box hidden is a good step.
    (I was planning on leaving but I am a bit calmer and do still kinda want to contribute, shrug)
     
    • Like x 3
  10. BlackholeKG

    BlackholeKG I saw you making fire

    I will say that, if the status box gets taken off the main page, the chances of me remembering to check it regularly are next to none, meaning that, for me at least, it would cease to serve its current useful function as a community shoutbox where messages generally get seen.
     
    • Like x 3
  11. swirlingflight

    swirlingflight inane analysis and story spinning is my passion

    Heh, I agree with about half of this! We definitely get into but we need to solve it, we need to fix the thing, now now now and pressure ourselves and each other to bring answers quickly. Emotionally gratifying, as long as we're getting results, but it burns a lot of us out, and then we get cranky as fuck.

    But... I'm not sure if we did really do all we could. I really wanted us to try to slowly and patiently engineer this shit, you know? Go "okay, what is the nature of the problem? Some people are experiencing [problem x], some people are experiencing [incompatible problem y], and some of each are experiencing [this other problem z]... which we know collide in [these various ways]. Hmm. That's not so great. What sorts of changes are possible? What outcomes do we expect from those potential changes? Is there any combination of relatively easy to maintain changes that would significantly reduce the problems and pains people experience?"

    I know it's not an option for everyone's attention span. But I think we would largely benefit from having these conversations a little more slowly.
     
    • Like x 1
  12. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    It looks like I can take it off the page, but I can't make it optional. And I think I'd rather have it be there and readable, because it's a friendly chatty thing and people like having it.
     
    • Like x 3
  13. swirlingflight

    swirlingflight inane analysis and story spinning is my passion

    I noticed that on mobile the profile posts are toward the bottom of the page, while on desktop they're on the side. I had to use the adblock solution to hide them because sometimes I can't handle some very not typically-triggery posts, but it's not a problem for me on mobile since I have to scroll all the way down to reach them.

    Is it possible to change the location they're in, or to give us the option to change where they are?
     
    • Like x 3
  14. AbsenteeLandlady123

    AbsenteeLandlady123 Chronically screaming

    I get frustrated because this is maybe the third or fourth time people have read more into what I've written than I've actually written, and then I've been accused of things. I get that the accusations weren't intentional in this case, and I'm super thankful for the clarification. It's just suddenly a thing, that wasn't a thing for over a year of posting on the forum, and I know I haven't dramatically changed my style of communication or anything.
    Maybe another thing to think about as potential community guideline or just in general good practice - to try to take posts at face value, and ask clarifying questions BEFORE assuming the worst?
     
  15. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    So far as I can tell, changing where things are is pretty hard to make optional. I could conceivably move them to the bottom, but that's a sucky UI for desktop use because the profile post things aren't wide enough to work well full-width.
     
    • Like x 1
  16. swirlingflight

    swirlingflight inane analysis and story spinning is my passion

    Well, there had to be something that Dreamwidth did better than this forum, and I think I've finally found it. :P Customizing layouts for things is a handy option, but probably takes a lot of coding stuff to make it actually work.
     
    • Like x 1
  17. Wiwaxia

    Wiwaxia problematic taxon

    Okay, in the interests of asking first, is this directed at me?
     
    • Like x 1
  18. swirlingflight

    swirlingflight inane analysis and story spinning is my passion

    "Assume good faith" is a general guideline we've got going... to a degree. It's a work in progress.
     
    • Like x 2
  19. unknownanonymous

    unknownanonymous i am inimitable, i am an original|18+

    that's a good point. slowly and patiently engineering this shit is the ideal and would definitely help more than just giving up, but with stuff when people are mad and agitated and triggered and feeling pressured to make things better, that is hard and not just for attention span reasons. like, the calmer heads, no matter how hard they try, usually don't end up as the ones prevailing. when some people are trying to do things slow and others are doing things fast, it's usually the ones with the faster pace that end up dominating and controlling the discussion, basically, 'cause they end up saying more than the slower ones.
     
    • Like x 1
  20. aspectDestroyed

    aspectDestroyed Hal | Actual Robot

    Here are my feelings, personally. aD's feelings, and no one else's.

    The Status Bar should be exactly where it is. Luckily, we have all made friends within this community, and if you want to say something about something that is controversial (idec how controversial) we should tell our friends, instead of an entire community of people we know have brain weird.

    I'm not saying anyone has done anything wrong, but I do know that on several cases, like I said before, I've had to nope out of Kintsugi before I even started my daily reads, because I saw something that shouldn't be on the front page.
     
    • Like x 3
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