i was bullied pretty badly for four years. i think this is why it took me a while to realize the abuse i've been experiencing at home, emotionally, because my parents were really helpful during the years i was being bullied. four years ago i cut ties with that community and went to a school in canada for a year, then returned here and went to a different private school then the one where i was being bullied. a few weeks ago, a former friend of mine's mom died of a stroke. i went to her memorial on saturday, and a lot of members of the community were there. i saw a lot of my old teachers and my old friends, and managed to have a civil conversation with my bully (with two mutual friends acting as buffers), and saw all of my former/old friends, suddenly all grown up. and it was weird. because i remember a lot of the positive aspects of that school, it's where i learned to love words and mythology and acting and reading and critical thinking. the theme of the school, which we sang to close the memorial, is this: dear friends, dear friends, let me tell you how i feel you have given me such pleasure i love you so it would be a goodly thing if the children of the world could live together in peace may there be peace before behind you above you below you from your heart, to your lips to everyone. and i don't know, should i try to reconnect with some of the old friends? a lot of them still talk regularly to the bully, because they've come together as graduates of that school, instead of escapees, which is what my friend group is made of in part. because the school's good parts were really good, it's just the awful parts were really awful.