regretting cutting ties

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by wes scripserat, Mar 9, 2015.

  1. wes scripserat

    wes scripserat Hephaestus

    i was bullied pretty badly for four years.

    i think this is why it took me a while to realize the abuse i've been experiencing at home, emotionally, because my parents were really helpful during the years i was being bullied.

    four years ago i cut ties with that community and went to a school in canada for a year, then returned here and went to a different private school then the one where i was being bullied.

    a few weeks ago, a former friend of mine's mom died of a stroke.

    i went to her memorial on saturday, and a lot of members of the community were there.

    i saw a lot of my old teachers and my old friends, and managed to have a civil conversation with my bully (with two mutual friends acting as buffers), and saw all of my former/old friends, suddenly all grown up.
    and it was weird.

    because i remember a lot of the positive aspects of that school, it's where i learned to love words and mythology and acting and reading and critical thinking.

    the theme of the school, which we sang to close the memorial, is this:

    dear friends, dear friends,
    let me tell you how i feel
    you have given me such pleasure
    i love you so

    it would be a goodly thing
    if the children of the world
    could live together
    in peace

    may there be peace before
    behind you
    above you
    below you
    from your heart, to your lips
    to everyone.

    and i don't know, should i try to reconnect with some of the old friends? a lot of them still talk regularly to the bully, because they've come together as graduates of that school, instead of escapees, which is what my friend group is made of in part.

    because the school's good parts were really good, it's just the awful parts were really awful.
  2. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    I guess I'd say... If you think you can maintain boundaries, sure, go ahead and talk to some of them. If they try to involve the bully, feel free to point out your total disinterest in interacting with them.

    I note also, I ended up friends with someone who had been a pretty bad bully years earlier, because he grew up.
  3. wes scripserat

    wes scripserat Hephaestus

    they all attend the public schools now though and I'm in boston.
    i don't know anymore.
  4. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    Email with them, maybe? Online hangouts can be a thing sometimes.
  5. wes scripserat

    wes scripserat Hephaestus

    Made a new email and didn't save theirs for that reason.
  6. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    If you can think of a way to contact any of them, you could use that to try to get in touch and ask for email addresses or something.
  7. wes scripserat

    wes scripserat Hephaestus

    Fair enough.
    Why everything so complicated? *wishes possessed cat*
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