Requesting Funny Pet Stories

the best part is that I'm pretty sure she's throwing it with her feet

somehow

 

Hold it between front paws and kick with back feet?

 

funny stories? well, there's the time Green's cat stuck her head into Green's sleeve and then meowed because she didn't know how to get out

(a very nice cat. but also very stupid.)

 

speaking of things in sleeves we once brought 2 baby chicks, and one time mum called me down to the lounge and told me that the chicks had gotten into her shirt and were perching on her armpit seams and she couldn't move without hurting them.

So I had to retrieve chicks from Mum's shirt.

 

We had a very sociable budgie who liked crawl into v-neck shirts and then flip around so that his head poked out and his tail was inside.

 

We used to have a basset hound. She once walked by me while I was eating spaghetti when I was a little kid and slurped up an entire plate of spaghetti. She didn't even stop walking, just inhaled the entire place.

 

Our rabbits have worked out that they can get up on to the dining table chairs. Said chairs are usually tucked in under the table, so they just get up there somehow and lurk.

The other day I witnessed Wilbur overestimate just how much back leg power he needed to get up on to the chair. He managed to not only propel himself through the gap in the back of the chair, he applied some kind of torque and came whizzing out around the table leg and flumped unceremoniously on to the floor. Luckily nothing was hurt except his pride.

We were also starting to get concerned that the other bunny, Jeff, was getting skittish over cooking noises. We thought they scared him. But after a while we worked out: it isn't fear, it's disapproval. He's not displaying his usual 'this thing scares me' behaviours: he's just learned that when we go in to the kitchen we sometimes come out with food for him, and when we don't he is mightily offended. So he honks grumpily and goes and sulks in his cage for a bit, peeks out, sees that this behaviour isn't making food for him appear, and begrudgingly goes back to throwing his toys all over the playpen.

 

sneaky bun and sulky bun. both perf

 

State of the Shorty: blissed out because she finally let me trim all her front claws and now she can make all the biscuits she wants on my belly without me screaming in agony

 

Lupin's wide vocabulary of talking-to-human noises -

"mrrp?" - if she's asleep and you touch her to wake her. I call this the 'cat activation noise'. Also, while she is in no way any kind of breed, she has what victorian persian breeders called 'dollface' - a cute little slightly snub kitten nose that means that if she curls up in a ball she also snores softly. It sounds a little like a very distant chainsaw or revving noise - a 'mmmm-mmmm-mmm' with bonus grunts or chatters if she's dreaming XD

"Mraw!" - "FOOD NOW"

"mREH" - "Oh hi human I see you there give me pets!" with bonus paw-touch and claws-in-shirt if she really wants to headboop with you.

"WRAOW! WRAOW! WROAW!" = "I AM SHUT IN THIS ROOM AND I WANT OUT NOW D:"

Also if you have something she wants a closer look at - not even to eat it, half the time she's just curious - she will reach out her paw and pat your hand holding the thing so she can get it closer to give it a sniff XDD

Plus all the usual cat yelling and hissing when she sees another cat or a dog. She is a half-pint cannonball kitty but my aunt's labradoodle is terrified of her - she gave him one good whack on the nose when he was a puppy and he now considers her Death Incarnate. He will bolt out of a room if he spots her asleep.

(Which is what she's doing now - she's currently a fluffy ball making gentle revving noises next to me on the bed. I love this girl so much.)

 

For some reason my boyfriend's catto is determined to murder my boyfriend's flipflops, except for when she's cuddling them.

eta: maybe it's because my cat is lazier more dignified, but in 10-ish years of having her I've never seen her so persistently determined to disembowel something; she'll bat things around intermittently and then meanders over to see what people are up to. Meanwhile boyfriend's flipflops seem to be as appealing as catnip-infused toys as far as Ziggy is concerned.

 

cats are cute little murder machines, and some are more murderous than others. for example, my sister's cat is the Devourer of Souls and hates all ppl, places and things that aren't her humans and her dog. my cat, on the other hand, is a cuddle monster who's rly only interested in killing hair ties, geckos and this one recycled fur toy that I got for her

 

I've mentioned this upthread, but the only things I've ever seen Lupin murder were people food. Oh, and she likes small shiny objects like paperclips and my nail scissors. She will pick them up and carry them away dog-style, although I suspect her interest in toe-clippers and small scissors is literally just to play keep-away with me.

She also does what we refer to as 'playing silly buggers' aka when we want to lock her in a room while we're doing cleaning, she will dodge and trot and hide and do U-turns all while doing the excited ears and tail because obvs this is a fun game to watch the dumb humans try to shuffle after her beauty and grace XDD

 

that's what you get for trying to herd a cat

 

me me I have a story
frantically waves arms

okay okay so this was early on when we first got my dog Hannah. she was a lil baby puppy like seven months old and all she wanted in the whole entire world was to ALWAYS BE WHERE THE PEOPLE WERE. and she did this thing where if she heard you opening the door, she'd come running to see what you were up to (and then bark very frantically if you did not immediately come get her to be with you).
now the house had a back porch. and the sliding door to the back porch was glass. and we got Hannah in the winter, when we weren't going out on the deck much.
spring time comes, the deck snow melts, and early spring my mom and I decide to go stand on the deck for a bit and watch the birds.
so we go out, close the glass door behind us.
now Hannah usually comes running and stops at the door.
not this time.
we're just barely out on the deck when I hear skitter-skitter-skitter-FWUMP.
the birds take off like rockets. I turn, and there's Hannah, sitting on the floor looking at me all confused like "what's happened? what is this magic force field?" before getting up and walking into it again.
to this day she does not understand the sliding glass door.
(she was unharmed, though.)

 

glass doors are really confusing to puppers, esp energetic puppers.

did she also do the thing where she barked at her reflection in the glass? bc that's an adorable thing

 

Once I was asleep and I felt something prodding my nose. I woke up and saw my cat batting at my nose (with claws sheathed, by the way) to try to get my attention. I thought at first, "oh he just wants me to get him some food," but as soon as he saw me awake, he just lay down so that I would pet him. He never did it again but I just thought it was funny that this one night he just came up to me and started pawing my face so I would pet him.

 

strangely, she's never once done that. somehow she comprehends mirrors, but not glass.
also, second fun fact I remembered about Hannah: you know how most dogs, if you put a blanket or something on them, they'll try and shake it off? not Hannah. she immediately goes stock-still and will remain there, motionless, until you remove the blanket or towel.

eta: she will huff in a very annoyed manner at times under the blanket, which has me half convinced she thinks she's somehow humoring us or something.

 

my mother's parrot will sometime try to fight with and/or eat her own reflection

 

....Hannah also used to do this thing we called 'closet time'.
she did this perfectly willingly, and she'd actually get distressed if you didn't let her do it, and basically what she'd do is....the first floor closet had a little Hannah-sized space under the bottom shelf. and every night, around eight pm, she'd scratch on the closet door until you opened it. once you opened it, she'd curl up in the space under the shelf, and then whine softly until you shut the closet door. with her in it.
and she'd stay for about half an hour, totally quiet, in the closet. then she'd scratch for you to open it and she would come back out and sit on the couch with everyone.