Discussion in 'General Advice' started by TrillianAri, Aug 27, 2018.

  1. TrillianAri

    TrillianAri 5'7" of whelm on a 5'4" frame.

    So apparently my default general reaction to "there is a surplus of bad feelings here and I don't see it getting better (heavily dependent on state based memory and probably an unreliable measure of whether it actually will" is 'run.' 'Work hard, get up resources, pull up stakes and just leave. Possibly with no warning, who cares. Start again somewhere else'. And I'm not having an easy time triaging those feelings and putting them into warranted and unwarranted camps. There have genuinely been times where it was for the better - it saved me from years of abuse at my dad's hands, extricated me from near homelessness when my family decided I was too much of an inconvenience after a car accident, saved me from a lot of toxic relationships. It also gave me some of the worst, most dangerous times in my life where I had started again and was scared, vulnerable, alone, and had no who knew me one to step in on the voices of criticism in my head (that's not generally the mechanism I rely on to interfere, I generally do it myself but when I'm that far down the self talk hole I pretty much can no longer bootstrap - and what keeps me from getting there is having emotional support and feeling witnessed by a community that understands and values me.

    I just...I feel that way again, the run, and I'm not sure how to deal with it.
    • Witnessed x 3
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