Vent Shit’s gone cock up

Discussion in 'Brainbent' started by michinyo, Nov 18, 2018.

  1. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    I know no one is obligated to respond to messages BUT I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF SENDING PEOPLE MESSAGES CONSISTENTLY AND NEVER GETTING RESPONSES BACK GOD DAMN

    Like if you don't want to talk to me anymore or need a break at least TELL ME. Don't let me keep sending messages to never get any response or feedback.

    My shit anxiety flares up and I get those monsters coming back telling me that people are pretending to be my friend and actually can't stand me. I literally had this happen to me in high school after 2 years of fake friendship and it still fucks me up.

    I'm just tired of constant radio silence.
     
    • Witnessed x 3
  2. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    It's bad that one of the things that considers a home unlivable in washington is not having heat but the landlord doesn't have a heater in the house.
     
    • Witnessed x 1
  3. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    I'm so tired of my fucking inconsiderate roommate that doesn't even TRY to do anything around the house and is just a shit person overall.
     
  4. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    My body has gone from not be able to sleep to only being able to sleep and I am extremely frustrated.
    I just want to be able to actually get through a day without utter exhaustion.
     
  5. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    Just because it looks like I have better control over my mental health doesn't mean I actually do. I tend to be an absolute wreck but I've become pretty decent at experiencing it internally due to situations where I needed to to avoid stigma and other unpleasantries.
    Would I love to be able to write pages and paint images that convey how I feel? Yes. I'd love to make it to where I don't need to hide how I feel and be able to just speak my mind.

    However, I hate the reactions of people trying to handle me with kiddy gloves when I show it. Or telling me to buck up and deal, or people trying to one up for pity competition, or lots of other reactions I've had to deal with. It's really frustrating, and I hate it.
     
  6. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    Also I've been dealing with a roommate problem since saturday that I no longer feel safe around said person period wheeeee
     
  7. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    I feel incredibly lonely.
     
  8. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    I wish that even someone here would acknowledge my pain

    But that feels so manipulative and I'm disgusted with myself. .
     
    • Witnessed x 3
  9. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    Omg can lvkz or whatever their name is just shut up?
    I can't tell if they're alex jones level of trolling or not, jesus christ
     
  10. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    I can't understand why my dad gets so annoyed with me when he sees how I have to take more meds than he does, or how I have an extensive diagnosis of mental and physical health problems.

    Does he think I'm faking shit or looking for excuses???
     
    • Witnessed x 1
  11. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    In happier shit, my therapist is really helping me with whittling down to my core personal belief and how it relates to my DPD

    My homework this week has been whenever I get the thought in my head that I'm worthless, to instead change it to I'm making progress.
    I have improved from where I was before, and I'm still working to improve myself more.
     
    • Like x 1
    • Winner x 1
  12. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    There is a very angry wasp stuck between my kitchen window and the plastic seal on said window.
    My cat is VERY interested in the angry wasp.

    This is a recipe for disaster.
     
    • Witnessed x 2
  13. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    SOMEONE DONATED TO ME $1000 DURING MY STREAM SO I COULD GET A NEW DRAWING TABLET
     
    • Winner x 2
  14. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    My therapist and I are gonna start EMDR therapy next week. I'm feeling pretty hopeful, but that's also because my therapist I actually feel I'm benefitting from.

    Also, a few weeks ago she diagnosed me with Dependent Personality Disorder. It just clicks and makes sense to me.
     
    • Like x 1
  15. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    FFXIV is in maintenance for another 7.5 hours I am going to DIE
     
    • Witnessed x 1
  16. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    So one of my shitty roommates is also ableist

    They don't understand that I can't work cause I'm disabled, and I'm working with SSI and actively going to therapy to help with my disability.
    Instead they bitch that I don't do anything cause I don't work.... despite cleaning the house and I've been paying my share of rent with my financial aid refund.

    Fuck them.
     
    • Witnessed x 3
  17. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    I read lvkz stuff and I just get confused and also angry cause they act so holier than thou.

    Like, every time I finish reading it's all a big yikes from me
     
  18. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    Me when I read lvkz crazy rants

    IMG_20190602_175833.jpg
     
  19. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    I'm horrible at interacting on here it feels like.

    It feels like I'm an outlier in interests, cause when I've tried to make posts and threads about stuff I'm into to see if anyone likes it, I just get ignored.
    Also, I feel like most people just don't want anything to do with me anymore. They have Bad Faith after the kitten situation, which drove me out of here and the discord server when I did my best in a difficult situation and was able to get safe and loving homes for all the kittens and mother. Even seebs agreed that how I was being treated was unfair.

    I feel like also there's no discord server I can interact with either. I can't join seebscord cause seebs themself said that they don't want me there, and afaik other places are dead.

    I just feel like I'm unwanted here, and it leaves me wondering, why do I bother when whenever I come here I just continue to feel alone and unwanted?
     
    • Witnessed x 2
  20. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    Also EMDR is exhausting
     
    • Witnessed x 2
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