shitposting rave 3: Dawn of the third rave

LADIES LADIES YOU ALL HAVE FABULOUS HAIR
*she flicks a floorlength braid over her shoulder*
NOW CAN WE HAVE THIS CONVENTION WITHOUT UNNECESSARY AGGRESSIONS?

 

...don't think you're a horrible person...juice box..?

[they offer a fizzy orange juice box to crotula]

 

...okay but your hair is fabulous too, it must look so lovely fanned out! Is it difficult to manage?

 

A LITTLE BUT LIKE, ONE IT'S TOTES WORTH IT AND TWO I HAVE A LOT OF HELP :P
MY DARLING SNOWFLAKE IS AWESOME AT BRAIDING AND UNTANGLING HAIR! WITHOUT HER I'D LOOK LIKE A TANGLE OF SEAGRASS AT OFFICIAL JUNCTIONS AND THAAAAAT JUST WOULD NOT GO NOW WOULD IT?

 

Christ, though, you have to spend at least an hour a day just on haircare.

-She seems grudgingly impressed.-

 

THE SECRET IS NOT WASHING IT EVERY DAY TO BE HONEST. I JUST LIKE LEAVE IT BRAIDED A LOT AND THEN GO ON WASHING-CONDITIONING-COMBING-BRAIDING MARATHONS LIKE ONCE A WEEK. UNLESS I NEED TO BE AT SEVERAL PARTIES A WEEK THAT'S USUALLY ENOUGH! MEANS THAT WHEN I DO DO THE MARATHON IT TAKES SOMETHING LIKE THREE HOURS TO GET THROUGH ALL OF IT THOUGH :P
OTHERWISE BRAIDS CAN BE PINNED UP A VARIETY OF WAYS! SO VARIATION IS LIKE TOTALLY ACHIEVABLE!
... WHEN I HAD A COOP I SLEPT WITH MY HAIR IN A TOWEL >_> NO ONE WANTS TO SCRUB WEEK OLD SOPOR FROM THEIR HAIR.

 

Yeah, did you guys need to shower every morning because sopor?

 

YOU COULD DO SHOWERS OR JUST SCRAPE IT OFF AND LET IT DRY IN FLAKES, BOTH WORK. I LIKE USUALLY SCRAPED THE WORST OFF AND THEN WENT SWIMMING WHICH TOOK CARE OF THE REST EXCEPT WHEN ONEIRA AND I WERE ON THE BOAT IN OCEAN WATERS.
I THINK SOME PEOPLE LIKE THE FEELING OF LETTING THE SLIME DRY ON YOUR SKIN BUT I DON'T REALLY SOOOOO...

 

[Chinhands at all this maintenance talk; he can't really have hair of his own, but it sure is nice to think about!]

 

[Is unhappy with the amount of gel he must use to maintain his fauxhawk.

Is glad that nobody here knows about the ridiculous pompadour he used to have]

 

Sopor slime is awful.
It creeps and itches like a horde of communal six-legged digging bugs.
(Oneira shudders at the thought.)

I'm going to stick with chocolate, thank you very much.

 

[has seen photos of the massive ocean blue abomination.

knows.]

 

@Orlandeau ♫o c e a n m a n...take me by the hand...lead me to the land land that you understand♫

 

*Sweating bullets*
H-how do you know about that? C'mon now, there's no need to tell anyone about it...

 

♫o c e a n m an...the voyage to the corner of the globe...is a real trip♫

 

do you honestly think this is about hair?

also, im a dude.

 

PUFFERFISH IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT HAIR HAVE YOU NEVER INTERACTED WITH YOUR OWN KIND? AND EXCUSE MY MANNERS, THEN I HAVE A HORRIBLE HABIT OF LIKE ASSUMING FUCHSIAS TEND TO BE FEMALE LIKE YOU KNOW ALMOST EVERY HEIRRESS EVER. CONFIRMATION BIAS! BUT YEAH SORRY MAN.

 

no. if i directly interacted with my own kind id be dead. (well, YOUNG-E=)R and dead.) the fact that their hair is disgustingly untamed and would be incredibly easy to yank on in a fight is barely even relevant.

also i dont know what fucked up universe YOUR-E=) from, but all the emperors ive ever heard of have been male.

 

WE CAN CALL IT HOW WE WANT IT BUT EVERY FISHTROLL I KNOW OF HAS FABULOUS HAIR BECAUSE IT'S A FUCKING STATUS SYMBOL.
AND DARLING, STARFISH, SWEETNESS I AM SURE THE OTHERS WILL VERIFY THAT LIKE STATISTICALLY IN ALTERNATE VERSIONS OF ALTERNIA AND BEFORUS EMPRESSES ARE A SHITTON MORE LIKELY. BUT LIKE WHATEVS.

 

vw3ll, th3n, your3 just vwrong, 1 gu3ss. not 3vw3ryon3 c4n b3 r1ght!!