My mother and I are both very stubborn, hot-tempered people, and we live in the same small house. As a natural consequence of this, screaming matches tend to occur more often than I'd like. I'm not scared of her, like I have absolutely no worry that she'd hit me, and even if we're very angry I don't doubt that we still love each other, but having someone yell at you still kind of sucks. The fact that I'm autistic and she has some issues of her own may not be helping. General pattern seems to go: minor issues-stress gets worse-ANGRY SCREAMING-retreat-sulking quietly-everybody's calmed down-apologies-move on with our lives. This happens between her and my father too, but it seems like he just sort of bulls on through whereas I am simultaneously more easily emotionally upset and more likely to poke things with a stick to see what happens. She does have a therapist and I want to talk about this with him. She seems reluctant but is willing to do so. She seems upset about it all too, but doesn't really know how to deal with it. Any tips?
Well... Not sure if this is applicable to your specific problem, but I find changing language around a little bit significantly decreases arguments. Instead of "you said" change it to "I heard/I understood". Sorry, words dying on me. Um. Makes it less accusational. No longer telling other people what they are doing. Focuses more on what you are receiving. # I do not deal well with shouty
