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Vent siggy is soggy

Discussion in 'Brainbent' started by mcsiggy, Mar 1, 2017.

  1. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    this'll be my vent thread i guess. i dunno, i've been feeling like complete shit lately and i think im near clacking and i dunno where to go without spending even more money me or my family doesn't have.

    so... yeah. I've been feeling like i'm the biggest annoyance in the world to, i guess all my friends or mutuals i talk to. I don't know what to do but i feel like everything i say was the wrong thing and i'm just unsure what to do anymore.
     
  2. keltka

    keltka the green and brown one

    witnessed, dude. you don't seem like you're an annoyance, and I hate that "everything I do is wrong" feeling too. hugs if you want them? or cute animals?
     
    • Like x 1
  3. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    hugs are always nice, thank you
     
    • Like x 1
  4. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    [​IMG]
    mmghgh ha ha
     
  5. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    tfw you think youre having legitimate anxiety attacks because you think your friends hate you but you also know that's a little guilt trippy c:
     
  6. Morven

    Morven In darkness be the sound and light

    -hugs-
     
    • Like x 1
  7. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    tfw you and your friend agreed or both wanted to make ur oc's into fun lil dnd characters but they get into a new campaign and, yeah they invited you but you were declined because too many people in the group but,,, they still put their dnd character in that campaign anyway.
    i feel like i shouldn't be mad but,,, i feel like i should be?? idk it's unfair of me thinking it's only exclusive to us but i dont want it to be exclusive, i just.. want to be included because i wanna play dnd with them and their friends, like im genuinely interested and wanting to be around them,
    but i also think i'm annoying and selfish and im constantly bothering and distracting them and i can't do anything about it but cry and whine and act like im 13 again

    i hate feeling so jealous like this i hate it [​IMG]
     
  8. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    haha i honestly feel like i'll always be the youngest or one of the more younger people in any friend group, no matter where i am.
     
  9. Birdy

    Birdy so long

    oh man that's a Feel I've Felt

    witnessed
     
    • Like x 1
  10. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    i love it when i confront them with me being upset, and they explain the thing, but then they go into detail with their oc but,,
    ahaha,, i know they hate me now because i complained about not being in dnd with them.. now they just avoid me i just know it

    i can be over reacting again but shit they dont really reply to me either when i send them something, so i just... feel like im a bother. ill just leave them alone or something...
     
  11. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    it's just, real fun you know?? you love the person a lot and you get real with them for a second, but you dont know if they accepted your apologies or even acknowledged them.

    [​IMG]
     
  12. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    tfw everyone in ur dnd group is in another group and youre in this one because you dont know, and they keep talking/mentioning about the other campaign theyre in in front of you.

    [​IMG]
    Haha too bad i cant join cuz i was asked by my friend if i can join but was turned down so that's nice. i guess.
     
    • Like x 4
  13. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    Haha now i remember why i don't rp with groups


    It's because im always nervous and i feel like i can't do anything right and i ruin everyone's time C:
     
  14. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    i feel like a fucking child complaining over fictional oc's but i'm just??? im so upset you know??

    i know it wasnt a promise, I know im not entitled to this one oc or should i be the only one to rp with them, but it was a plan to do something together and they just went along without me.
    and i guess being more upset that i was mentioned if i can join this other game and was turned down. so... yeah.

    I honestly thought i'd be happy because im finally in a game with them! but i feel like its just a fucking wish fulfillment for me by the others or something. or it feels like it.
    its obvious that im just mildly obsessed with this because i just want to join in but i know i sound like a massive child screaming in a void because i can't have what i want.

    "But siggy!" someone who's very rational, "theyre just ocs! you have your other oc in another campaign without them! and they are allowed to do this whenever they want! plus they did want to have their oc and your oc be in the same game, but the one you were invited at first was full! that isnt your fault! and youre in another one with them with another oc, what's the problem?"

    because i never fucking said i'd plan on having one of my ocs in a dnd game with them before! and i guess i'm mad im not able to join in and have fun because im actually genuinely interested in playing with their friends too! but I have to sit back and watch them talk about their other game who i think the OTHER players are also in that game too! So legit i'm watching everyone im around talking and having fun around me while i have to sit and watch!! It feels like elementary school again! I always was left out and I HATE THIS FEELING I JUST WANT IT TO END
    [​IMG]
     
  15. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    I just feel fucking pathetic and i know i am i kinda just want to disappear from existence so no one has to worry or care about me because i know im a massive fucking waste of space/.
     
  16. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    like shit even the dnd group ive been in for a few months i never talk to ever aside from games.

    i dont even feel like i belong there. i dont know any of them aside from the dm, and even then i hardly talk to the dm, who i feel like talks down to me like im a kid.

    fuckin they didnt even ask me what my character looked like. they just drew her without hesitation, no "oh hey, does your character have any features or what do they look like?"

    its something super petty to complain about but hey!!! C: WOULDN'T HURT TO ASK ONE OF YOUR FUCKING PLAYERS IF THEIR CHARACTER LOOKS A CERTAIN WAY SO YOU DIDNT HAVE TO MAKE TWO EDITS! I HAVE REFERENCES!
     
  17. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    haha it,,, doesnt help im even complaining to my other friends about this whole thing and i feel like an even bigger piece of shit because;

    "THIS ONE PERSON I LOOK UP TO AND LIKE A LITTLE MORE THAN YOU DOESNT WANNA PLAY WITH MEEEE"

    is all i hear from myself
     
  18. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    i dont even think i can see my girlfriend this weekend either, i feel so unstable to even look at her without wanting to cry because shit am i a horrible girlfriend hahaha, showing more interest in a friend more than your significant other! Im just, im so great you know??? look out everyone! its selfish tumblruser mcsiggy showing abuse tactics because she's upset!!
    [​IMG]
     
  19. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    "Maybe this will be something from earlier in his life"

    haha good to know that we're finally in a little campaign together that this will be written off easily for your other campaign everyone else is in.

    [​IMG]
    "haha wow sig arent you obsessed you fucking gross person they should get away from you"
     
  20. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    honestly now that i think about it, im way out of their league to be their friend and im just,, so immature.

    ive always been the immature one in every group im in.

    just the ~fun~ little things when youre always the youngest out of everyone ever.
     
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