I know those tumblr posts talking about "sorry i didn't reply, i didn't want to" is to show that some people are too tired to reply but holy shit it's a very dickish thing you can do to someone who's trying to talk to you. fucking just tell them 'hey im tired i'll reply later' and they'll understand and remember this in the future. don't fucking leave them in the dark. like god. I just want my damn answer for my question.
idk i guess i sound too neurotypical or more extroverted but fucking telling someone who wants to talk to you that youre too exhausted to talk to them and you want to sleep isn't a bad thing to do.
idk im just bitter cuz when i try asking my friend 'hey wanna hang out/can i join you/can you help me with this dungeon in WoW' they just say nothing to me and then i see them post about hanging out with other people in WoW like come on fucking tell me you don't want me there. like despite them being the ones who got me back into WoW :))))
or like holy shit make a post where your friends could see so they know right away without you messaging them individually?? idk!!! im just kind of annoyed i get ignored the moment i show interest in my friends interest
ive been,, trying so hard to help a friend to make new friends cuz they're sad they havent been able to make new friends in awhile, so i introduce them to people they might like and they just??? they just keep putting themselves down in jokes that are uncomfortable, or like, have a panic attack and automatically think everyone hates them. like i'm so tired. i've been trying so hard to help them but at this point i just wanna stop because idk how to help them anymore than i can. i'm unhappy playing with them in overwatch because everytime i play with them, we lose a lot more than win (and lose badly mind you) and just their homelife isn't great either in terms of people putting them down and insulting them cuz of their weight and i wanna be supportive but idk how much more i can be supportive at this point. im so exhausted. like s'why i have this forum so i dont put so much stress on someone when im upset.
like they ramble on so much the discord sound is annoying me and i'm getting legit irritated but i can't say that to them cuz i'm afraid i'll push them over the edge for being so tired for being a therapist for them so much more than talking to them.
i just feel bad for complaining about them cuz i do care about them but they've put me in a corner in keeping their happiness up or something like this is something i tried to avoid doing to other people in general and haha :)
let them know. be gentle about it, but let them know the patterns you're seeing. the self defeating, the other things. with how their home life sounds they might not be aware how often they do it or how offputting it is and just being aware could improve their chances and give them a better outlook? .. and otherwise just gently let them know your situation maybe? in regards to them at least. like.. hm. how would you want to be told that, if your friend were you? the best way might still hurt their feelings, but it'd be temporary and hopefully set them up for more success and keep you from reaching your breaking point at all. you deserve to keep your spoons and have fun just as much as your friend deserves to be happy, but in this situation i rlly think you need to give them a heads up and lay some little ground rules even for your own stability and comfort.
You don't owe it to anyone to be a therapist. It's also not your job to act as a social liason for them. It's possible that they just don't know how off-putting their behavior is. In that case, I think it's good to tell them. But they have to be willing to make the necessary changes to their behavior.
ive seen my friend express that they feel like theyre unlovable and no one will love them like you are lovable, there's a good amount of people (including me) who likes being around you, but you dont tell people things, which makes you come off as cold and as an asshole. like idk im just annoyed at them cuz i keep/i try asking them when theyre able to play WoW cuz, you know im being nice and going off their schedule but they don't SAY anything to me. like shit yeah no wonder people can get mad at you, you just stay quiet and expect people to know why you dont reply to them.
my friend: hey they have this new elf race coming out in WoW you might like, we can make our characters in the game and we can play together! me, booboo the fool: yeah i'd love to play with you!
honestly it's fucking funny how they get my hopes up and pretty much ignore me when i ask them when they're available.
Man nothing annoys me more than someone trying to joke when im listening to something i enjoy/let others listen to so they can get a feel for it. fuckin, i play horror stories on my streams saturdays or sundays, depending when i do it, and when someone comes in and goes and says; "this 'scary' story is pretty ok" like shut the fuck up the story JUST started, you also came in late and didn't hear the other stories that played. just?? i never asked your damn opinion on if the story is scary or not to you, just mute if you dont like it or shut the fuck up. like god, i wish i didnt get so mad this fast but small things can make me go from 0 to 100 so fast because of some people who're regulars in my streams.
"Understand your friends/significant other/etc can't talk every day" i understand but what if there's lack of communication from their end when i try asking them a question? I don't even ask for a reply right away, just like?? reply when you can.