Discussion in 'Brainbent' started by mcsiggy, Mar 1, 2017.
ADHD makes a lot of sense, yeah.
I have nooo idea where to ask this but i guess this is more of a thought than anything.
I'm??? thinking of giving my oc Mortis (who is black) a backstory where he was a human who was lynched and after he died, he became a demon and rose to power to where he is now. but it... idk sounds silly? i guess it's a small power fantasy in terms of, someone who was pretty much seen as less than dirt become very powerful and be in charge. but at the same time i dont wanna do that too cuz it can be seen as racist (like oh no the only black character is a bad guy, despite me having multiple black characters who are not even close to bad) since he is the only character i have who is also close to be a villain in some way.
I guess like, i want him to have a villain who rose to the top and was able to kill those who wronged him in every way, and became powerful where not everyone even remembers how he came about or knows of his past.
One other option was he was an angel who decided to say 'fuck you' and dropped to hell and rose to power where he is now.
i dunno I guess?? I like the thought of a character who's classified as a villain but is also very very morally grey in terms of he's not actively doing anything evil (unless you wanna count him asking other demons to bare a child for him) and mildly being a capitalist? not like big evil all my money no sharing, but like he's rich but he pays his taxes like i guess he understands what it was like to be poor and gives back too??
ughugh i dont know what to do >:/
me: I want a guy who's evil!! has done nasty things and fucks!!!
also me: but he also loves his children and wants demons to have an education and asks for consent.
also also me: BUT HE'S EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this kind of evil >:U he will kill but for??? legit reasons??? idfk lmao
Honestly that makes for a well rounded villain. There's no such thing as someone who is purely evil for evil's sake. They all have justifications and things they're working toward, whether it's wealth, power, safety, love.... you give your villain something he values, you make him a person.
Seconding Louis SO hard. He seems super interesting and well-rounded, and that makes for a MUCH better villain (and a better story) than “he’s just Evil and has Zero Redeeming Qualities.”
aaa im glad, i never really liked villains with no redeeming qualities, and when people make villains who fuck and or have sex a lot they make them like theyre rapists or something and just ugh thats boring to me?? i like the thought of someone who is obviously a major douche but is still lusted over by some people? yeye
being a taurus is suffering cuz im forever cursed with 'so petty youll hurt yourself because youre PETTY'
me, writing a characters plot to forgive and or accept an apology to help themselves move past feelings: im petty and i will never accept apologies
spent the rest of my afternoon stalking someone in a game cuz im petty and still huge mad at them like good job @ me, you're being big toxic to yourself lmao
at least i didnt try to engage to do anything to gain their attention aside from passingly have my character drink
tho i dont think they noticed me so win win for me i suppose, time to work on comics.
you know, some good came out of this. i'm starting to rp more on WoW and I found someone who decided to friend me and me to them so we can pick up where we were today so im!! kind of hopeful.
Spoiler: im s o tired
small artists arent normalizing that shit and a lot of people who like that stuff in fiction most likely dont condone it like im surprised no one's like this towards gore and violence towards minors like im so tired
i just,,, wanna ship characters i like, sexual or not and not get labeled as a pedophile for staying in my fucking lane like people sometimes wonder why i dont draw fanart anymore and honestly its cuz of that cuz the last time i drew fanart of two characters who were teens, someone was like 'hey you better not draw nsfw of them' and im just ??? wtf why would i do that?? and the incest thing is legit like, the lowest thing on my list of things i personally dont like nor care to see but i wont?? insult people either.
like i get it im a nsfw artist but i dont,, lewd everything i see either i actually prefer not to see most characters who are kids be lewded you know?? but i guess at the same time it's like weird specific situations too idk, like i dont like seeing Little Witch Academia characters be lewded but im more ok with My hero Academia characters being lewded cuz?? i guess i forget theyre not adults and also they dont look like kids sometimes cuz people dont draw them looking like kids and
im so tired i dont wanna care anymore but drawing is my job and the moment i wanna make something that i like without someone accusing me of a crime i never thought of nor ever will commit so like, hh...
idk what to do anymore, all my thoughts are conflicting cuz i know im not a bad person i dont want to commit crimes or hurt minors or anything that hurts anything or anyone... so just,,
i feel like dying more and more every day, all this is ruining my motivation to draw, even my own stuff now
I forgot i even saved this but this is legit how i feel all the time but i also need to be reminded that this is what makes me human:
me, seeing a nice picture of some art: wow cute oc
someone: roxy from homestuck
me: that doesn't look like roxy at all.
legit, nothing against artists but im also so sick and tired of people making homestuck characters, and, i guess any other media character not look like them.
maybe im projecting on when people assumed my oc's were homestuck characters but idk i can't say anything cuz people would think im being racist like no im not!! i legit do not mind black roxy or black any headcanon! it's the fact that they don't look like the characters you say they are is my big problem! if you change so many aspects of a characters look to the point where they aren't recognizable at first glance, news flash, you made an oc!
When your "head canons" make the character unrecognizable, just make a fucking OC at that point.
On the flipside, If I can look at your OC and go "that's Eridan. Dead ringer, that's Eridan down the the horns and stupid scarf" you need to go back to the drawing board.
I only wish I was exaggerating that part.
Yeah :( and i know some people can be inspired by characters and or did rps with them to the point where they became ocs, but when it's just "is... this eridan or an oc" on both sides, i think it's time to do some reworking jfdklg
on my nsfw twitter i stumbled across gore and it was good but at the same time it was sexual/very horrific where it still wont get out of my mind and i guess i was?? i guess im squicked out lmao.
i muted the person who drew it so i didnt have to see their work, which makes me sad but i know i can't handle a lot of gore/guro as well as that with sexual things w/ it, im super picky with it, or like, i guess the best i can handle is decapitation and or it depends on the style itself cuz the style of the pics that squicked me wasnt very cartoonish and had a lot of realism in it so i guess thats why i was :( w/ it.
but ye! you learn something new every day, now i wish the images would get out of my brain
i hate disliking things, especially in homestuck but holy shit i super dislike the june egbert headcanon
im glad i started painting cuz it kind of helps me clear my mind but i also have the hope that ill die via sniffing the paint and turpentine so i dont have to deal with myself anymore
im feeling like a burden cuz all i do is complain and im,, not talking to most of my friends like i usually do. i can hardly stream but thats partially internet issues but ive been irritated all around and i just, i wish i can actually take a break from the internet but the only way i can do that is if i actually institutionalize myself. honestly i wish i can just go away but still have like, youtube or something lol
the news is scary, i feel like i have no future and im scared i just, bother people because of my opinions, which fair but also, im trying to be more understanding but i feel like i'm a shitty person for not going along with what everyone else is doing in fandoms.
im just,, tired
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