Vent siggy is soggy

thank you!!!!!! I've already got ideas for treats but I'm getting way ahead of myself

if you wanna chat about prompts ever you can message me on discord whenever!!

 

feeling suicidal all over again lmao

not gonna do anything but,, sigh

 

i guess i just, it's always the same w/ me and my art, i feel like ill never get where i want to be, or i feel like im hella behind everyone i know to the point of just,, giving up in a way?

i dunno, i just, feel like i wouldn't do anything worth while for myself, and i feel like im here just so i can provide mediocre nsfw.

i know i sound silly and i think it's just me being tired, just, i dunno, goodnight

 

im just repost what i said on twitter so i can delete it from there

im just, mad, no matter how much work i put into my art it's never spread wide enough like my fucking doodles sometimes do. there's a whole reason why i put more effort in the asterius/theseus pics cuz i want them to look as nice as possible just in case but even then i feel like it's not good enough, nothing i make will be good enough no matter how fucking hard i try. like this is why i like to retweet art cuz i want it to be seen, but, i know it may never happen to me much or at all cuz my style will never be "good enough". i'm always **right there** on being good enough on everything i do, no matter how hard i try, or how much effort i put in for anything, it's always 'almost'. like damn no wonder im not dead yet, i'm not pushing myself hard enough to do that :)!!!!! god i'm pathetic, goodnight.

 

like wow i'm never satisfied with anything, even if im incredibly proud of it, i feel like what i make it will never be good enough for me or for anyone else. my nsfw is mediocre, my sfw is mediocre, i'm just, im not good *enough* ever

 

its funny cuz i am so aware how silly i'm acting, and i know i need to only focus on my own growth, but i guess i'm?? just, im frustrated at myself, and what i mentioned earlier w/ me 'almost being good enough' has been a thing over my head ever since i was a child. being 'boarderline gifted' really solidified that i will never be good enough.

and im just, i guess im upset seeing others gain so much popularity in such little time and i guess im,, sad i've been doing what im doing for 10 years and i feel like i haven't done much, which i know thats a lie, but i guess for me, i feel like i never have good ideas for anything, i always feel like im taking from others, or like, my way of wanting to be recognized is making something for others. like fanart of fics i like, but, i also want fic writers to get noticed cuz i like their story, but i also, i guess some selfish part of me is hoping that will get me a small leg up too.

i dunno, i'm crying as i write this cuz i dont know what to do and i need to finish some commissions,

 

the funny thing about me is that i cry and complain but at some point i just, i go and do what i wanna do cuz i have nothing else to do? i dunno

but, i guess in good news, i got a laptop! and then imma buy a tablet to go with it so i can travel and stay w/ friends longer if i can ;;;

 

ive been having not great days of,, realizing how obnoxious i was all throughout my life lmao

 

trying real hard to tell myself my art is good and i am doing great but it's real hard hhh

 

if it helps at all i admire the HELL outta your art!!

 

h!!!!hhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;;;; <3 <3 <3

 

your art is amazing af and I love your OCs and everything you touch is GOLD

 

l, liz..,, !!!!!!!!! hhh!!!! im gonna cry ;;;___;;; <3 <3 <3 thankyou,.,

 

i am sending you the biggest internet hugs, here they come you better watch out!

 

@mcsiggy you're on the list of people I wish I could collab with your shit is stellar! for real!!!!!

 

;;;; !!!!!!!!!! <3 < 3< 3< 3<3
thank u aaa, one day!!! one day a collab hopefully!!! ;O;

 

there's not a love button so here: