thank you!!!!!! I've already got ideas for treats but I'm getting way ahead of myself if you wanna chat about prompts ever you can message me on discord whenever!!
i guess i just, it's always the same w/ me and my art, i feel like ill never get where i want to be, or i feel like im hella behind everyone i know to the point of just,, giving up in a way? i dunno, i just, feel like i wouldn't do anything worth while for myself, and i feel like im here just so i can provide mediocre nsfw. i know i sound silly and i think it's just me being tired, just, i dunno, goodnight
im just repost what i said on twitter so i can delete it from there im just, mad, no matter how much work i put into my art it's never spread wide enough like my fucking doodles sometimes do. there's a whole reason why i put more effort in the asterius/theseus pics cuz i want them to look as nice as possible just in case but even then i feel like it's not good enough, nothing i make will be good enough no matter how fucking hard i try. like this is why i like to retweet art cuz i want it to be seen, but, i know it may never happen to me much or at all cuz my style will never be "good enough". i'm always **right there** on being good enough on everything i do, no matter how hard i try, or how much effort i put in for anything, it's always 'almost'. like damn no wonder im not dead yet, i'm not pushing myself hard enough to do that :)!!!!! god i'm pathetic, goodnight.
like wow i'm never satisfied with anything, even if im incredibly proud of it, i feel like what i make it will never be good enough for me or for anyone else. my nsfw is mediocre, my sfw is mediocre, i'm just, im not good *enough* ever
its funny cuz i am so aware how silly i'm acting, and i know i need to only focus on my own growth, but i guess i'm?? just, im frustrated at myself, and what i mentioned earlier w/ me 'almost being good enough' has been a thing over my head ever since i was a child. being 'boarderline gifted' really solidified that i will never be good enough. and im just, i guess im upset seeing others gain so much popularity in such little time and i guess im,, sad i've been doing what im doing for 10 years and i feel like i haven't done much, which i know thats a lie, but i guess for me, i feel like i never have good ideas for anything, i always feel like im taking from others, or like, my way of wanting to be recognized is making something for others. like fanart of fics i like, but, i also want fic writers to get noticed cuz i like their story, but i also, i guess some selfish part of me is hoping that will get me a small leg up too. i dunno, i'm crying as i write this cuz i dont know what to do and i need to finish some commissions,
the funny thing about me is that i cry and complain but at some point i just, i go and do what i wanna do cuz i have nothing else to do? i dunno but, i guess in good news, i got a laptop! and then imma buy a tablet to go with it so i can travel and stay w/ friends longer if i can ;;;