So, um..hi?

Discussion in 'Howdy there!' started by LynnBattlePoetess, Jun 29, 2017.

  1. LynnBattlePoetess

    LynnBattlePoetess New Member

    I am here because I am pretty much a mess and Acey told me you folks are cool with that.
    Where do I start? I just got back from a trip to Washington where I wanted to spend my 40th birthday with someone I fell beyond hard for. He and I have a lot of the same issues except his are more severe. Talking with him yanked me out of a 4 year depression and I couldn't believe it. When he told me he had similar feelings for me, I just felt like flying. I have social anxiety, can't really do the eye contact thing, and have pretty jacked up self esteem, so the fact that I even went through with it was huge. Well, the person I fell for thinks I deserve better so he stopped talking to me 30 days before the trip. I WENT ANYWAY because I am stubborn, dumb, fearless, whatever. I drove to his house and texted. No answer. Texted more. No answer. I drove around the block a few times and parked in front of the house for 15 minutes, then got out of the car, went up to the door, and couldn't bring myself to knock. WTH brain? So I left a letter addressed to him and his parents, and some presents at the front door. And sat down in my car and screamed and cried. I drove away crying. His mom found and read the letter. SHE CALLED ME and we talked for hours. She is the best. I think she really likes me.
    Anyhow, hope the anecdote shows the state of me.
    Had social issues from preschool on, impulse control, talk too damn much, have had flappy hands since I was a baby, suicide ideation, panic attacks, panic disorder, anxiety, depression, domestic violence survivor, adopted, just newly started to be sober because alcohol makes me do dumb things. Like annoy the best thing that ever happened to me so much that he blocked me on discord. Ugh.
    I have schwannomatosis and lots of lower back nerve damage in right leg and foot. I have a spinal cord stimulator but only since a few days. More surgeries to come.
    I get nerdy about cats, costuming, computer games, gems & minerals, Irish gaelic, reading nonfiction books, VNV Nation, and other stuff. I play Elder Scrolls Online to help me forget about my chronic pain/disability.
     
    • Like x 1
  2. NevermorePoe

    NevermorePoe Nevermore

    • Like x 1
  3. Technicality

    Technicality All's fair in love and shitposting

    Hey, and welcome to Kintsugi! Any friend of Acey is a good person in my book.
     
    • Like x 1
  4. Verily

    Verily surprised Xue Yang peddler

    Hey, welcome to the forum! I hope it will prove to be a useful resource for support, understanding, and/or diversion.
     
    • Agree x 1
  5. Morgan Jae

    Morgan Jae pecure. sontain. crotect.

    hello yes welcome
    scout the cat.jpg
    dave sleeps.jpg
    sorry about the sideways photo, mobile is a fuck sometimes
    anyway!! welcome to kintsugi we're not formal here
     
    • Winner x 2
  6. Technicality

    Technicality All's fair in love and shitposting

    and yes, I recommend the pets thread. almost 100 pages of beauteous animals
     
    • Agree x 1
  7. Briar

    Briar Well-Known Member

    Hi! Welcome to Kintsugi!
     
    • Like x 1
  8. Saro

    Saro Where is wizard hut

    Hey! Sounds like we have some similar interests re: cats, costuming, nonfiction, and games. I think you already found my General CAT-ter thread, please feel free to add whatever cat content you like :3c

    What kinds of nonfiction do you like to read? I mostly read about science (esp. biology, I'm a biology grad student) and medicine, but I also like histories.
     
    • Like x 1
  9. Acey

    Acey hand extended, waiting for a shake

    HEY LYNN!!!

    We also have a SU thread, if you wanna see that. :3
     
  10. unknownanonymous

    unknownanonymous i am inimitable, i am an original|18+

    hi!
     
    • Like x 1
  11. Tea and Rain

    Tea and Rain angry squirrel

    Hi, welcome to the forum. I am new here too. What nonfiction genres do you like? I am a fan of true crime, sociology, history, and medicine/health.
     
    • Like x 1
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