sometimes i wonder what easier

Discussion in 'Brainbent' started by Void, Nov 13, 2015.

  1. Void

    Void on discord. Void#4020

    just giving up and getting the suicide thing over with or keeping on living. i'm in seattle and i know that just moving won't fix my problems but i'm honestly just
    wishing i was dead more than ever

    like sure, there's things i want. but at the same time i don't want to even bother trying to get them.

    i'm listless, and sad. and poor.

    no job, no savings.

    seems so much simpler to just be dead. sigh. and i hate the thought of asking for donations, because i already feel like trash from the last time.
     
  2. prismaticvoid

    prismaticvoid Too Too Abstract

  3. Void

    Void on discord. Void#4020

    like i can't even afford therapy now. the thought of existing just makes me sad.

    i'm gonna be a sad lump of a person for the rest of my life and that's not fair to anyone
     
  4. Void

    Void on discord. Void#4020

    plus no one buys commissions from me, and i can't seem to finish the ones i do have.

    i'm a fucking trashlord
     
  5. prismaticvoid

    prismaticvoid Too Too Abstract

    I promise if I ever call you a trashlord it is meant affectionately. :P You may not be able to afford therapy now but that's not always gonna be the case. In the meantime you can rest, learn stuff, draw stuff, work on arranging your life the way you want it to be. You'll be okay.
     
  6. Void

    Void on discord. Void#4020

    i don't feel like i will be okay. and i'm not really feeling up to drawing things. or learning stuff. or arranging my life.

    everything feels like it's more the end of times than really it should. i don't know why i bothered even moving, it would have just been easier to chuck myself off the hoover dam
     
  7. prismaticvoid

    prismaticvoid Too Too Abstract

    That's why I included "rest" in there. Go get some sleep and think about doomsday in the morning, k?
     
  8. Void

    Void on discord. Void#4020

    i'm not really tired. i haven't been tired. physically. and sleeping just doesn't fix anything anymore
     
  9. prismaticvoid

    prismaticvoid Too Too Abstract

    It may not "fix" anything strictly speaking but that doesn't mean your brain doesn't need it. No one's expecting you to have everything figured out by now, and getting out of a really toxic environment was a pretty great first step.
     
  10. Void

    Void on discord. Void#4020

    bluh. i probably feel like trash because all i've had today is some chips and an apple and some water. but i really am not feeling like cooking today. sigh.
     
  11. prismaticvoid

    prismaticvoid Too Too Abstract

    Yeah, that wouldn't be helping. :/ The low spoons food thread is excellent for these sorts of situations!
     
  12. Void

    Void on discord. Void#4020

    probably but it's more just "even bothering to leave room to get food"
     
  13. prismaticvoid

    prismaticvoid Too Too Abstract

    *shoves you, very gently* Get something to eat, it will absolutely help you feel more like a human being (or whatever variety of cuddly canine makes you happy)
     
  14. Void

    Void on discord. Void#4020

    i don't like going through other people's kitchens, even if i have technically moved into the place

    i have shitty food hang ups and i don't see this changing right now.
     
  15. prismaticvoid

    prismaticvoid Too Too Abstract

    If it helps, the average reasonable person's reaction to "all I've eaten today is chips and an apple" is probably "holy shit, would you like some food?" Like, that is a reasonable thing to do. If your anxiety is acting up too much for that, idk. Try to sleep, it's nearly two over there.
     
  16. Void

    Void on discord. Void#4020

    yeah. i'm... considering sleep as an option at this point because reading the low spoons food thread is making me cry cuz i can't even do any of those because apparently i am holding negative amounts of spoons
     
  17. prismaticvoid

    prismaticvoid Too Too Abstract

    Eh, spoon requirements vary for people. I'll go find another source of those I had a while ago in the morning, I'm two hours later than you and it is emphatically bedtime.
    *pets* go sleep, you can work stuff out tomorrow.
     
  18. Morven

    Morven In darkness be the sound and light

    I know it's not that easy, but there's almost always something to eat in the house, at least at snack level, and Alana's pretty much up all night most nights. And she likes you. Please come out and ask.

    Right now there's a piece of an Italian sub from last night in the refrigerator wrapped in paper that you can have. If you want. Or there's other things.
     
  19. Morven

    Morven In darkness be the sound and light

    Also, let's get some zero spoons unwrap and eat snacks in your room for those times you just can't.
     
  20. Void

    Void on discord. Void#4020

    i know i'm just embarrassed and scared of asking for things due to Trauma apparently or something.

    always afraid of being in trouble for eating other people's food, i used to get yelled at for eating the wrong things at home.
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice