Sorting stuff out

In the mean time:

Hey, why not.

 

Can I ask what you think the point of an apology is?

 

What do you usually do to release steam and manage your stress, outside of getting involved with internet conflict?

 

Iiiiiiiiiii, uh, don't do anything. I just let it accumulate until it blows up, I have no idea how to actually manage stress.

 

Answering a thing from another thread: the Wikipedia quote was for the "pedantic" thing, basically, I basically just couldn't allow myself to say "I'm sorry" because it would possibly be a lie.
I don't understand why the difference between "What I did was really fucked up, I'd rather not do it again and I'd like some help with that" and "I'm sorry, what I did was really fucked up, I'd rather not do it again and I'd like some help with that" would be particularly significant. Explanations are welcome.

 

I should also mention: Alix, if you ever decide you don't want me here talking with you, you do have the right to ask for someone else to help you.

Like, I ain't a psychiatrist, just someone who's watched you struggle on this forum for awhile.

 

When I get stressed out over something I can't take any immediate action over, I distract myself, either with video games or movies or talking with friends about anything but the topic. If that doesn't work, I go for a walk and try to exercise. If THAT doesn't work, I'll scream and scream into a pillow or destroy something meaningless like a napkin or a piece of garbage.

 

I usually think of them as consideration for other people's feelings, as a way of acknowledging the hurt you've caused. So I think we're operating from different foundations.

I will say I'm sorry if I came across like I was ready throw Alix in the proverbial dungeon. I believe she genuinely wants to make sure this doesn't happen again.

 

I guess I got caught up on the idea that saying "I apologize" and "I'm sorry" are the same things, and I didn't see the use in doing so.

 

I'm curious - where are you getting this about what 'people' are doing? There isn't a lot of back and forth in this thread. Is it from people's vent threads?

 

That might work. I was actually playing a video game just before that, but then I paused it once the drama happened, and it was neither the kind of game where you can relax nor the one when you can just blow stuff up, well, the way I play it, at least.

Also, could I get at least some definition of what people here would define as remorse/guilt/whatever? Because I always have a very hard time figuring out my emotions and it's possible that it is actually a thing I feel, but I've only heard really vague definitions of it, and I know it's hard to describe emotions in detail even for people who have them figured out, but IDK. :/
Anyway, my post wasn't intended as "I'm not sorry", but as "I don't know if I'm sorry and I'd rather not say something I might not actually mean".

 

Alix, can you recall your thought process when you decide making people hate you is more acceptable than fighting each other?

 

You could try meditation as well, breathing exercises and looking at something calming.

Re: remorse, I would personally define it as being able to understand the feelings of the person you attacked. Of being able to feel the anger, fear and hurt of being suicide baited and recognizing you are what caused those feelings, and not wanting to cause that hurt again solely because you know that hurt is painful.

 

Basically, "Fuck, people I like are fighting each other/people are fighting someone I like (whichever is appropriate), better try to make it stop by making the anger focus on me instead".

Oooooooh, okay! Yeah, the "I'd like" wasn't intended as "I want to but I can't", it's just. IDK. A thing I've been told was Polite™ to say at some point, probably.

I can't stay focused enough for meditation, but I think breathing exercises would help. I haven't exactly tried them but I know I'm at my lowest amount of stress when scuba diving and the way you have to manage your breathing for that is basically identical to breathing exercises, from what I've heard. So, basically, breathing exercises: a thing I definitely should do.

Also, for the remorse thing, it seems to be heavily dependent on empathy. And, hey, good news: that's a thing I feel, both empathy and remorse defined that way! Bad news: I only feel those (a lot of those) towards close friends/crushes, animals, inanimate objects and fictional characters. But hey, at least it might mean there's something to build upon.

 

A lot of people have recommended this gif to help with breathing exercises:



When you feel yourself starting to get agitated and stressed, try breathing with this for a couple minutes?

That's good. Would you say you have a hard time with the idea that sometimes good people can do things that upset you or that you don't agree with, or is this more of a disconnect of not remembering online text is coming from a person?

For example, if someone you just met offline said something that upset you, would you think they deserved to die?

 

This was out of line, again. Delete it, you fucking asshole.