So. I was so proud of myself for Adulting Good. And also sweaty because alcohol. So I stepped outside to enjoy the really nice view and the cool air. My door has this neat feature where if it's locked and you open it from the inside it unlocks. Without having to fiddle with the locks manually. Usually it stays unlocked. For some reason, when I closed the door (from outside) it relocked. I was in my jammies and had no keys because I was not expecting my door to lock itself. This is why my neighbor ended up helping me break into my own apartment at 11 PM. This is my life. I do so good and then top it off with a dash of stupid. Once I was back inside I had to sit down and laugh until I sprained something. This is just. How my fucking life goes. Every time! Every goddamn time! I shouldn't even be surprised anymore when everything in my life comes with a punchline.