EDIT, 10/24/17: this is my is my general depression/recovery/life tracking thread. there might be unspoilered mentions of the things in the tags, but any more detailed discussion will go under a cut. advice, discussion, witnessing, and hugs are all welcome. backstory: i was diagnosed with depression almost 5 years ago now (though looking back it's been there forever), and have been on various medications and with various counsellors since then. for the past 2 years i've been living in my hometown, working for my parents' business. (literally a mom-and-pop store.) i've been on paxil for a yearish, and i started wellbutrin (in addition) in october and i'm still not sure how it's going. i have some periods of high executive function, but i've also had more... negative thinking? i guess? and more insomnia. of course it's coinciding with winter and my tendency toward SAD. anyway... for the past couple of days i have had almost no spoons. for anything. i went to work monday, called in sick tuesday, i have wednesdays off, and i called in sick today (thurs). each one of these days it's been a struggle to get off the couch. i've managed to feed myself at least twice a day and take my medication, but even that has been a struggle. i really, really should go to work tomorrow-- i'll be up to my neck in paperwork on monday if i don't-- but it sounds exhausting just to think about. as mentioned, i work for my parents. (i have my own apartment at least, thank god.) the good part of that: they understand that my mental illness is A Thing, and they let me call in depressed to work. the bad part: they don't understand much at all beyond that, and have no idea how to deal with a depressed person. like they've accepted that this is a chronic illness and that sometimes i'll have bad days, but too often they respond with "ok so how can we solve this NOW?" when i feel crappy for more than 1 day at a time. which is. not helpful. i have a pretty good relationship with my mom, although she can be pretty helicoptery; my relationship with my dad is... weird, tenuously friendly but very frequently antagonistic. so i already am not looking forward to talking about how i've been feeling with my dad at work tomorrow. but if i don't go to work they'll just worry even more, and then i'll have to deal with that probably all weekend. i just. UGH. i have no spoons, and i need to get myself a psychiatrist but doing things is hard, and i have no eggs or milk but my car is buried under like 6 inches of snow and ice because i haven't left my house since monday. my apartment is messy and i have debt i've been ignoring/forgetting about and my boyfriend's birthday is today and i still haven't mailed his birthday present. (oh, yeah, i'm in a long distance relationship right now and it sucks, i want to move back.) i miss being able to function like a person.