suicide baiting

Discussion in 'The Undercity' started by Skeletor., Feb 1, 2017.

?

what should be done in cases of suicide baiting?

  1. involuntary temporary moderation queue.

  2. involuntary temporary ban from subforum in question.

  3. involuntary permanent moderation queue.

  4. involuntary permanent ban from subforum in question.

  5. whatever the user who did it voluntarily chooses, maybe nothing.

  6. nothing, period. we're a hands-off forum.

  7. other. (comment below.)

Results are only viewable after voting.
  1. Mala

    Mala Well-Known Member

    Seconded. Missing threads is the main reason I don't use the current ignore feature

    ETA: maybe the discussion of a block feature should get its own thread so it doesnt get lost in another thread?
     
    • Like x 3
  2. AbsenteeLandlady123

    AbsenteeLandlady123 Chronically screaming

    It's still relevant to the thread topic though, hmm
     
  3. rje

    rje here comes the sun

    I meant that itd def be a mutual blobk, but i totally get that it's a bad thing for other ppl. I didn't understand, but now I do more. Ty all
     
    • Like x 1
  4. kmoss

    kmoss whoops

    thanks for listening!

    and yeah, I guess if i had a problem with someone, I would most prefer to be able to "sit down" with them and a mod in an open space, mutually agree that our issues were incompatible, both ask the mod to somehow have us be invisible to each other in a way not-bypassed unless we ask the mod and all agree

    ...auspistizing, basically


    ..........at any rate, I can see issues with that preference as well, and so I acknowledge that any solutions are not likely to be remotely perfect
     
    • Like x 10
  5. Hobo

    Hobo HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA

    Possibly offtopic, but I'm not particularly happy with the framing of the previous discussions of suicide baiting and BPD Anon's actions as hate threads, frankly. I understand that BPD Anon saw them that way, but the fact that other people are coming in to say "yep, they sure were hateful and said BPD Anon was evil (and caused him to attempt suicide)" like it's some sort of objective statement-of-fact... honestly feels like people are misremembering what actually went down at the time based on BPD Anon's reaction to it. Won't speak for anyone else, but I know that BPD Anon took some of my statements as evidence of me hating him, and I can say without a doubt that I have never felt that way about him. I made every attempt to be as neutral as possible in those threads while also seeing what happened as Not Good and focused primarily on what I saw as poor handling of the situation by seebs, and yet... still seen as hate. I'm curious where all of you are getting this from? The performative outrage I saw wasn't a particularly strong performance, honestly. And it seemed like most of the overt anger that developed over the course of dealing with this shit was directed at seebs and not BPD Anon. Feels akin to framing Josie's AI thread as a hate thread against her because that's how she saw it at the time, then making out like everyone else was out of line for posting in it.
     
    • Like x 6
  6. Newlyread

    Newlyread Killer Queen

    I would make a new thread, in the That Could Have Gone Better forum, because that could have gone better.
     
    • Like x 2
  7. electroTelegram

    electroTelegram Well-Known Member

    can i recomend that the thread have a mediator
    if all parties agree that is, but i think having a neutral party to help with the process would be beneficial
     
    • Like x 2
  8. throwaway sub

    throwaway sub New Member

     
  9. Aondeug

    Aondeug Cringe Annoying Ass Female Lobster

    I want to reply to them personally and I refuse to ask for my ban to that forum be dropped entirely. Argh.

    That's probably where it fits.

    But I really do not want it to have to be like and now aon is unbanned from that board.

    Are you ok with my pming you instead, @palindromordnilap ?

    edit: Never fucking mind then. Maybe in brain bent then?
     
  10. Newlyread

    Newlyread Killer Queen

    Welp. Brainbent could be the thing, or Alix could have the ban lifted.

    I agree with the idea of a mediator, in case any one wants to air grievances. That's outside my skillset, probably, but I'd be willing to talk with Alix about her actions and feelings that lead up to them to try and really examine why things went down as they did.
     
    • Like x 1
  11. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    This is a valid point. There's some things that were said that were actually pretty harsh, and others that just got interpreted that way past a BPD filter. Which is totally a thing that happens sometimes when people have BPD, or other similar mental health problems. So there's some amount of "it got taken badly" happening, but there are definitely things that got said which I would have interpreted as pretty strongly negative even without that. Accusing people of lying or being insincere is generally not a way I think they will be happy with.
     
    • Like x 1
  12. Hobo

    Hobo HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA

    Fair, and I agree there was some of that, but it seems like people are expanding how often that sort of thing came up because of time and because of what happened with BPD Anon, rather than "it was a hate thread where people hated on BPD Anon performatively because of angry people" being an accurate assessment of the thread as a whole. Like I said, it seemed like most of the people who were overtly angry and not doing very well at hiding it were angry at you, far more so than him.

    Not entirely sure what you mean by this, but if you're suggesting that's what I'm saying... nah. I don't think anyone has lied or been insincere in their comments about happened in that thread in the slightest, all I'm saying is that it seems like their perception is not accurate, based on my own reading of it (I wasted entirely too much time rereading one of the threads) and knowing the sort of post BPD Anon took as proof of hate and an active desire for him to get banned. I feel like it's being more closely acquainted with Beeps and the fallout that might be causing others to be thinking that the thread/s were more universally hateful than they were. Or maybe it's just an issue of definition, where any hateful comments (no matter how small a minority) transforms a thread into a hate thread, or if someone perceives a thread that way due to brainweird. Maybe the thread tone changes considerably when you can read deleted posts. Who knows.

    All I can say is that framing those discussions as hate threads doesn't jive with what I experienced when taking part in them or with what I read, even with the occasional douchebag statements/behaviour. And at the risk of coming off like a concern troll, it seems like reinforcing Beeps' perception that Kintsugi is a place where a hate thread for him exists and isn't out of place (due to people either hating or performatively hating him if spurred on by others) can't be good for him, especially if he wants to be able to return someday.
     
    • Like x 6
  13. palindromordnilap

    palindromordnilap Well-Known Member

    I'm considering requesting an unban from TCHGB since I noticed the ignore function and think it might work better in my case (I'd like to see it if I get pinged in that forum), but yeah, I'd say Brainbent would probably work better anyway since it would allow people who are banned from/ignoring the argument forum to chime in.
     
    • Like x 1
  14. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    It's possible. I wouldn't have noticed people being mad at me.

    Oh, no. To clarify, people in the thread were accusing other people of lying and being insincere, especially BPD Anon, and that behavior struck me as something he could quite reasonably be very offended and hurt by. (I have a lot of unresolved gripes about some stuff from those threads, really.)

    That's a really good point, and I would agree that by and large it's not really a "hate thread", but there was a certain amount of people proposing unduly negative interpretations of his behavior, completely ignoring significant evidence to the contrary, and other people assuming that those views were actually reports of facts, not hostile speculation, that happened. See, for a parallel thing, the thing where someone claimed that I'd "threatened to out a subaccount", and other people chimed in and took it at face value. It's not actually a thing that happened, but someone decided to portray it that way, and other people assumed the portrayal was at all accurate, and now there's a number of people who think this is a thing that happened and that it's characteristic of my admin style, and they're afraid and upset because some asshole misrepresented me.

    And the reason I bring this up is to point out: This pattern of behavior isn't only damaging if the "victim" gives a fuck. It's harmful to other people as well. So it's not just that BPD Anon has an unrealistic view of how many people hate him. It's that some people who are genuinely afraid of him possibly returning to the forum are afraid of this only because someone said things about him that weren't true. And this gets back into a previous conversation about how sometimes when people say negative things about someone it's "just venting" and isn't an actual factual claim about the person other people should rely on. But at least one has specifically refused to ever identify which specific claims were "just venting" and which are factual claims that other people should rely on as information about the prospective risks of BPD Anon returning. So the answer is almost certainly somewhere between "all of this is factual assertions, and the untrue ones are arguably lies" and "none of this is factual assertions, and no one should ever have relied on it when making decisions", but we'll never know which.
     
    • Like x 3
  15. peripheral

    peripheral Kinky Digamma

    I personally don't like BPD Anon, not because of anything to do with the final drama, but because we have vastly different opinions on basically everything and never appeared to have compatible personalities.

    I don't want him around me purely because he coincidentally, in terms of behavior, reminds me of people IRL who I cannot stand to be around.
     
  16. Zibanu

    Zibanu Well-Known Member

    Hey seebs? I was having a panic attack and readily admitted I was catastrophising. Can you go fuck yourself.
     
  17. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm talking about stuff that happened months ago. If you're the person who recently said they'd heard that this was a problem, I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about the people who gave you the bad information in the first place.
     
  18. Zibanu

    Zibanu Well-Known Member

    I got that impression from reading the fucking thread in the first place, seebs. There is not one user leading a vast a global conspiricy to get people to not like you, plenty of us came to that conclusion by ourselves.
     
    • Like x 2
  19. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    Oh, hey, call me a liar more, that will totally make me give a fuck about the shit you think about me. If you read the thread, you read the part where I pointed out that there was no such threat intended, and that the "implied" threat only exists if you presuppose that I'm a completely different person who has social instincts that seebs unmistakably lacks.

    And the fact is, while people's experience of the thing is clearly that they come to a given conclusion "by ourselves", uninfluenced in any way by other posts they've seen, statistics and research consistently show that what other people say does affect how we interpret things. I'm not claiming some kind of vast global conspiracy; I'm claiming that credibly-presented interpretations or responses to them influence how other people read things.

    And seriously, fuck off. I have zero interest in talking to people who directly assert that my statements of my own intent and motivation are lies.
     
  20. Zibanu

    Zibanu Well-Known Member

    I didn't say you were lying, I was saying that my panic addled brain didn't remember the accurate series of events, and I will add that I was remembering just the initial feelings I had when viewing the post, and not what was said after. If you don't want people to ignore what you say about your own statements, maybe take others at face value
     
    • Like x 2
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