Vent that T is hot (nsfw at times)

i can't stop eating fruit roll ups but i wanna throw up

 

i just coughed so hard i threw up again

 

I think I might have GERD

just add it to the list of things my body is destroying itself over

 

threw up again today, this time from anxiety

I wish I could talk to my datemate, but they're busy. I'm scared for them.

 

so i keep saying mean things because i know it'll get my datemate mad

i think its because its easier for me to handle their anger than their depression. at least if they're mad at me i can have a thing to point out like "see? this is why they're upset. and it's all your fault, you piece of shit"

that doesn't make it right though.
i think i should be better at removing myself from situations like this.

 

FUCK
i fucked UP MY SHOT AND IT HURTS
i needed to stab my leg three times to get it in and i almost threw up lmao

 

Spoiler: nsfw

my datemate and i had the best Skype sex~~~~~ they are so beautiful and they were really good about me taking a while to cum.

Spoiler: cock

also my clit is getting bigger again holy shit. it's gr10.

 

why is food such a federal fucking issue my god

 

i always start my homework at abysmal hours

it's weird how productive i was this weekend only to have it totally fall apart today

 

up at 6am reading radfem blogs and agreeing with them

lol guess i'm a fuckign terf now

 

my favorite part about my period is that my entire labia, clitoris, and mons pubis are hurting and swollen

 

I can say this now that my datemate has this thread on ignore but

I'm jealous that they're going to a queer party...I wish I could go with them. I almost tried to convince them not to go, but there isn't a point. we're in an LDR so...

 

why am I so bad at interpersonal interactions wrt people feeling shitty

my datemate and I were saying our goodbyes because I'm going back to school tomorrow and they always feel like crap when they're tired...so as I was headed out the door they said "i feel like garbage" and I said "when do you not" which was... really uncalled for especially since we had a very nice day together

it's so much easier for me to deal with them being upset at me instead of at themselves... and I knew it was a rude thing to say but I still said it

 

lmao i told my mom i'd go to the review session tonight for my exam on tuesday but i don't have the spoons and i've got a bunch of other stuff to take care of

plus there's another one tomorrow, so it's not like i won't get any review. so why do i feel so guilty and shitty

 

I just stretched and pulled a muscle and my ribs really hurt. I can't wait until I don't have to bind anymore

 

Also datemate deleted their tumblr and it makes me unreasonably upset

 

i'm finding it really hard to deal with them tbh

i'm trying to be patient but i have such a short fuse wrt their depression nowadays...i still love them i just...need a fucken break

 

also I'm really salty that everyone else seems to have people visiting their vent threads and commenting but I'm just being a petulant child

 

I completely understand that feeling, I'm sorry.

 

!!!!!! hark! another soul in this arid desert