ok. ive never been officially dx'd or tested but lately ive been seeing lots more posts on my feeds about ADHD symptoms, specifically in girls/afab and it........has been like staring into a mirror kind of and its an extremely strange feeling, mostly bc i was under the impression that i was just a Serial Procrastinator/Lazy/Distracted/whatever else u get spoonfed that i can't remember right now lmao ive talked to spouse-to-be about it a little bit and they did say it would explain some things re: how i work, my rollercoaster of enthusiasm levels, and how i approach tasks. idk, does anyone who got a diagnosis or went through the process of maybe finding this out by accident have advice or just like a "yeah ditto" kinda thing? (also i am so new to kintsugi pls let me know if theres a better way to pose this omg)
I don’t have any like, wisdom to share, just I’m in the same place of having seen a lot of adhd content and being like “oh hey that sounds like me oh hey that sounds like me oh hey that... oh. hm.” So like, solidarity high five? (This is a perfectly cromulent way to pose this, you’re doing fine!)
i didn't get professionally dx'd until i was 16/17 because my parents had been fighting getting me a diagnosis my entire life. (i had, at one point, records from my elementary teachers documenting their opinion that i should be tested for adhd/learning disabilities in general, after my mother told me that my i think 3rd grade teacher had asked for a parent-teacher meeting where she'd been told to get me tested, and i reached out to my elementary school about it.) to get diagnosed, i had to get my parents and my teachers to fill out a little checklist documenting if they, externally, saw behaviors that would indicate or contraindicate adhd. then, because there wasn't enough evidence from that, i had to go and see a therapist, who required parent/child meetings, so that she could assess me from my parents' point of view. so. i'd start by documenting all of the symptoms you think you have, or descriptions that make you go "same hat." if you can also point to specific instances where these examples interfered with or otherwise impacted your life, even better. (specific instances doesn't have to be as specific as "on october 12, 2009, i had a doctor's appointment that i totally spaced, and didn't remember until the next the day," but noting "i have a history of missing or being late to appointments because i have difficulty with x" is helpful.) i know, because i was in high school, that proving it impaired me in school and required medical intervention was like, really important to getting my diagnosis, but i'm not sure how universal that is or even how much that would generalize to someone out of high school (as i'm assuming from "spouse-to-be"). i suspect showing impairments in either college or work currently, or a history of difficulties in school, would satisfy that if it is required. i'd advise finding someone else to diagnose you if they think medicating you is required (largely because i of my own very bad experience with being medicated for adhd) but that might not be feasible. i'm not sure how willing to accept plausible and lightly researched but not as well-known/explored anecdata like atypical reactions to otc stimulants. i know the fact that i'd been self medicating with nicotine gum and a shit ton of coffee and energy drinks since starting high school factored into getting my diagnosis, tho, so if you have a history of atypical reactions to things like caffeine, that might be worth mentioning. (my general self dx rule when talking to people irl is asking about their coffee or mountain dew or coke/diet coke consumption and why - it's overwhelmingly common in ... literally ever adhd person i've ever met irl and most online that drinking highly caffeinated drinks helps with focus and being able to get things done. i had a boyfriend who's mother didn't want to get him tested because she thought medicating children with ritalin was the devil, so he'd been drinking mountain dew every day since he was like four, and by the time we started dating in high school, he was drinking like two liters a day. so like. if you have a history of atypical reactions to stimulants, i'm pretty happy to go "yup, probably adhd") you also might be asked to justify why you want a diagnosis and to "prove" that having a diagnosis is something that will improve your life - i've heard that it's pretty common, in general, for people seeking diagnoses for brainweirds like adhd or autism as adults, and it's definitely true of my experience getting an autism diagnosis. that's all i can think of off the top of my head rn, and i'll come back later if i think of anything else
This is really thorough and i appreciate it more than i can say <3 im gonna start doing the documenting thing (probably in this thread, im trying to jot them on a notes app as i remember them lol). im finishing up my second university degree and honestly i can probably pinpoint things that might circle back to this from a few years ago. i was one of those ~overachieving kids~ in school up until gr 11 or 12 but i space out in lectures like nobody's business. always figured it was just because i didn't put in enough effort, but recently ive been realizing its not just lectures lmao...connections idk if its any help but ive been on escitalopram since summer 2017 for The Anxiety™ which has really helped me regulate my sleep schedule. as for caffeine i drink between 2 and 4 cups a day depending on what i have going on but when im at my desk at work or doing finals i find that its harder to work without one (even when i forget about it and end up drinking it cold and get chirped by the fiancée) again, thank you so much, i really appreciate every bit of info and anecdote!
cromulent is my word of the day now and thank you! its really incredible what kind of information you never really thought you would come across is out there, waiting to be dramatically revealed
yeah, 2-4 cups of coffee and "it's hard to work without [coffee]" sounds (informally) v adhd now that i think about it: something else that might help is listing Tried And True (TM) adhd management things that have also helped you. for example, i too am shit at paying attention to things, but being able to (get the accommodation for allowing me to lmao) record a class, and sit there and do hand-fidgety things (i'd knit in high school but my college professors Did Not Like That lol) has really helped me. more .... hmm .... doctors who are more on board with "trying to help you thrive, whatever that means" and less "trying to make you look like a totally normal (not neuroatypical at all) person" can/will also count that as evidence, if they hadn't already suggested you try something like that.
i had access to (most) powerpoints from classes which def helped but yeah, i can never ever keep my hands still...keltka taught me how to crochet to help keep busy, and ive had experiences from the positive to the Partial Cause Of Getting Fired from my previous job. (the guy in charge of my new job which i start in a few weeks seemed a little more sympathetic when i tried to explain, mostly bc he saw me drum solo-ing between my coffee cup the table and my notebook during my interview) ill be sure to add those to the list too then! im pretty fortunate to have a Good family doctor so ill see if they can find me a consult with someone who might have a good idea of where to go from here. thank you again so much!!!!
aux and I went down the list and now I want to give her a hug https://saccharineomens.tumblr.com/post/184411249460/god-i-found-another-article-about-why-adhd-kids
incomplete list of tendencies that make me go :thinking: - general task dysfunction and accompanied anxiety from sitting there physically unable to do the Thing - actual anxiety™. (ive been on meds since summer of 2017 which has regulated my sleep schedule, along with help from my love) - inability to make decisions or ability hindered by a lack of energy - sudden drop in energy during tasks. the biggest example i can think of is cleaning, when fiancée and i cleaned our room a few weeks ago i could only manage about half an hour before my entire body felt like it was going to shut down - hyperfixation on things that pique my interest (read: homestuck) -auditory processing delay. i know this isn’t strictly related but can be common so i figure id add it to the list (“what—oh” ad finitum) -energy highs on tasks and things that motivate or excite me. i get the Tinglies in my arms sometimes which feels like a caffeine rush when something really catches my attention and holds it (the most recent example i can think of is the prologue drop on 4/13) I guess the biggest thing here is that I don’t know which of these are just regular or attributed to personality/habits and which could be something else. I just needed a place to put it all lol
Sounds very much like ADHD to me, yeah. I have it and so does my mom and that sounds very similar to what we both deal with...
I just got diagnosed as having ADHD on Sunday (by an ADHD specialist!) after many years of suspecting that I had ADHD. Your list of tendencies seems super ADHD to me, so I think it's definitely worth bringing up! I'm glad you have a good family doctor and I hope that you can get a referral soon. I've only had a diagnosis for a few days and it's been a huge weight off my mind. I'm gonna ramble a bit about how I got diagnosed in case it's helpful! I saw a new general practitioner at the beginning of the year, asked for a referral for mental health, and was sent to see a psychiatric nurse practitioner. I don't know if you have any history with psychiatrists or not but I have had sufficient negative experiences that I have been hesitant to seek mental health care for a while; I told this to my GP and she referred me to a psychiatric nurse practitioner instead of a psychiatrist! Psychiatric nurse practitioners are iirc as qualified as psychiatrists, they just take a different path to... being able to do the thing. After about five minutes into my first appointment with my psychiatric nurse practitioner, she asked me if anyone had ever told me I might have ADHD and referred me to an ADHD specialist RIGHT ON THE SPOT. It was super exciting, especially since I'm afab and that can get complicated... I saw the ADHD specialist three times and she called me on the phone one time. At the first meeting, she asked me a lot of questions about my experiences with school, work, and ~home life~, I didn't have to bring anything in or provide any detailed/concrete examples about uhhh… work or school or any... anything. I did have to fill out a 400 question survey about my mental state and my capabilities and my executive function, which I thought was somewhat ironic (like buddy, if I was CAPABLE of filling out a 400 question survey, I would not be here...), & my best friend also had to answer some questions about me (although she only had to answer 50 questions). At the second meeting, I was given a few tests: one where I had to click a button every time I heard or saw the number one (and NOT click a button every time I heard or saw the number two); one where I had a bunch of blocks and had to make them into different patterns at her direction; one where she asked me to define words; and another one which I have COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN at the time of writing this. After that, she called me on the phone to ask me a few follow up questions about my ability to do things, which was super fun bc that sweet sweet auditory delay sure does make it hard to listen to people saying WORDS on the PHONE :D At the third meeting, she told me I definitely had ADHD! I now possess a 10 page writeup detailing why I was given my ADHD diagnosis and what subtype of ADHD I have and... probably some other stuff. I DEFINITELY have not read most of the writeup yet. Once I've acquired a store-bought attention span I am going to celebrate by reading the whole thing :) So yeah, I hope some of this rambling has helped you in some way; if you have any other questions I'll answer as best I can; in any case, I hope talking to your family doctor goes well and that you get some good leads on what to do next!
@bewildertrix that's super helpful and really wonderful! it's also so encouraging to read how the process went for you and i'm really happy for you that you were able to get the dx from people who really seem good for you and your health :D if I have more questions as i continue this introspection journey™ I'll be sure to drop them in here!! thank you sm for your input <3
thats really validating, thank you so much <3 (i hope that's not too strange to say, haha) i have a few struggles with letting myself acknowledge things, most having to do with gaslighting history from an ex and from a sibling, so this thread is really helpful and informative and im grateful for everyone on here
https://www.additudemag.com/symptoms-of-add-hyperarousal-rejection-sensitivity/ "interest-based nervous system" is a term i never heard but MAN if it isn't relevant. this was a hell of an interesting read (NO pun intended)
