I'm tickingnectarine and I'm a clock, not a bomb, but I still need to explode sometimes. I don't like my family very much. My brother is irresponsible, my mom is very stressy and controlling, my sister is a mentally ill and abusive brat, and my dad... My dad is the worst of them. He has anger problems, he is selfish, he is short-sighted, he is childish, he is a liar, he sneaks through our stuff, he doesn't care about anyone but himself. I honestly believe he doesn't love any of us. For example- he has a few days off work this week, so mom decided we should all take a mini-vacation. He has decided he wants to buy a $100 flash drive so he can put a linux operating system on it, and when mom said we can't afford it because of the mini-vacation, he said we should just cancel the trip. Mom said she can't cancel the hotel room so he said he's gonna just buy it anyway, mom tried to reason with him, and he told her to shut the fuck up and plugged his ears. I'm so sick of this. He's an adult. He's over 50. Fucking act like it. He is the closest thing to a male role model I have. He is a huge part of the reason I dislike men so much. I do my best not to hate them but between learning new ways men are hurting women on tumblr every day, and living with an aggressive, egotistic, borderline abusive former alcoholic, it's really hard not to.
I can see why your siblings are such gems. Hang in there, I'm sorry your home life is such a shitshow.
For reality-check purposes: You can put a linux operating system on a $5 flash drive. You do not need a $100 flash drive.
Yeah I don't even know what to say. I don't think he means put the installer on it, I think he means put the entire thing on it and run it off the usb all the time. Not sure. Also guess who's working late today.
Tonight, after spending the entire day off work and not wanting to go anywhere with anyone, he decided he wanted to go buy ice cream at 7:30. Mom asked if he was serious about needing to go, and he decided to not go, and instead slammed a door and some drawers and threw some CDs all over the floor. Also tonight- my sister needs to learn how to take no for an answer. No, I don't want to take you to Vancouver. I worked for nine hours today. No, I don't want to take you to Vancouver. Last time I tried to drive in Vancouver, I broke down crying. No, I don't want to take you to Vancouver. It took over half an hour to get her to leave me alone.
I need to figure out how to stop caring about: - not receiving attention - feeling ignored - worrying about whether people like me
When you've figured out how to do those things, let me know, because i haven't the slightest. Sometimes, at my most rational (rare), I get the glimmer of an idea that every so often i go through weeks where i feel uber ignored, and then i realize i also haven't contacted anyone. But in the other corner, anxiety brain tells me it's way easier to feel ignored than to actually ping someone and not get a reply at all. sometimes i'll send out like 5 or 6 messages to 5 or 6 different people and see if i can figure out plans or something, because odds increase in my favor the more people i bug
I hate living with my parents. Mom is overworked and her stress rubs off on me, she's controlling and doesn't like my friends and she's transphobic. Dad is an egocentric, short-sighted, borderline abusive former alcoholic and an example of all the bad things about masculinity. Their relationship is on the verge of collapse and I'm stuck with them. I'm sick of being the kid while mommy and daddy are fighting, I'm 23 and STILL powerless to help fix the situation and mom is upset with me for it at this point. I just want more money at work so I can afford to live on my own.
Ranting at someone who isn't here So let met get this straight. You just flat-out lied to me? When i told you i liked you, you said you were still getting over your ex and weren't interested in dating anyone yet. We talked about how youre getting a roommate, and how you had a crush on them, but they had a girlfriend so you guys wouldnt be doing anything once you move in together. Then i go away for a week and a half, come back, and apparently you two have not only gotten together but are bragging about the sex youre having. That hurts. That hurts a lot. I told you i was gonna be away for a few weeks, i gave you my skype, i gave you my cell number, and you haven't talked to me once. I thought you gave a shit. I really did. Because you were always nice to me. Because we agreed we could be friends instead, and i was happy with that because I ONLY HAVE EIGHT OF THEM. But noooo, apparently youre too busy banging your new boyfriend. I guess i was wrong. I was just an annoyance to you and you were putting up with me because you had to. And now I'm down to seven friends. Great.
Why can't I do ANYTHING right at home? At work I can usually do just fine, but at home I'm always screwing up and never good enough.
I have to get hot so people will like me and I can get Validation but working out and eating healthy is so tiresome
So. Mom and I are doing an antique show this weekend. Setup was thursday, today was day 1. Tomorrow, saturday, is day 2. Dad helped with setup because mom isn't as strong as he is or I am so she needs help, he was grumpy but he did it. He drove the u-haul truck down and helped us set all the furniture up, then went home a bit early. Today, he went to work while mom and I worked the show. They had a safety meeting because we have some ridiculous storm happening over here in the northwest, and because of what was said during the meeting, he refuses to come help us pack up tomorrow. Mom also had a door fall on her on thursday. So she's even less able to move furniture than usual. I have to skip work in order to help her during the show tomorrow, and I can't drive the u-haul home so we might have to leave it overnight and go get it when the weather calms down on sunday or monday. Dad suggested we just bail on the antique show, but we're already one day into a two-day show. If we bail now, everyone would hate us for it and we would never be allowed to rent a space at that show again.
Hey, I think I just put and two together bc I'm a Gifted Kid. Here to witness, listen, offer hugs, paps, and/or input if any are ever wanted.
