i just keep crying at random moments with no warning????? i thought i'd feel better by now but i just miss him more
i haven't gotten a full nights sleep or eaten anything in two days i just. stopped feeling like a person
i want to kill myself but i don't have enough energy so i'mcjust gonna lie here wishing i could fall asleep and not wake up
Spoiler my new thing is downing lots of pills knowing that it's not enough to kill me but kinda wishing it would and then just dealing with being sick for awhile
Spoiler "are you suicidal" is a pointless question bc i literally always am suicidal. except i got a nice break from that for a whole two weeks and promptly forgot how to deal with that being my default mode of operation.
Spoiler who am i kidding. i'm never gonna be able to move over there and live in a cute house with him and be happy i'm leading him on and i should break up with him or kill myself or both
Spoiler we're on call and i hate it i can hear him existing but I'm not with him i miss him i miiss him
I know it doesn't mean much, but I'd definitely be sad to see you go and I know that's true for a lot more people. I wish I could help more but I'm way negative on spoons.
Spoiler i'm at class but i downed a bunch of pills before i left so here's hoping i just collapse and get to go home
i don't know how much i can help right now, but witnessed longer term, maybe we can strategize ways to find you a place to stay and a way to get out of that house? it won't help with missing your boyfriend, but from what you've said about your mom here, i think some distance from her would really help your mental health
