"Vent Threads" and the Community

Discussion in 'The Undercity' started by Beldaran, Aug 17, 2016.

  1. Mercury

    Mercury 17 Quicksilver Scribe Tramples The Unrepentant

    You may get a nasty surprise sometime in the future in meatspace if you get into someone's face trying to be 'nice' and then are a jerk about them being upset about it.

    An action is not nice if you can't accept people rejecting it, even if they're mean about that rejection.

    I cannot for the life of me see where you were dogpiled in Void's thread. Void responding to your boundary violations and one other person gently telling you to maybe drop it is not a dogpile.
     
    • Like x 14
  2. electroTelegram

    electroTelegram Well-Known Member

    granted, figuring out how to reconcile different people's perceptions of dogpiling was an intention of the other thread

    ah well
     
    • Like x 6
  3. a small fis)(

    a small fis)( 26 people in a trench coat

    in someone elses thread i was dogpiled bc i responded to a vague abt what happened w void
    its still completely unacceptable and dangerous of anyone to be that aggressive over small mistakes and expect anyone else to just put up with it no matter what
     
  4. Secret Squirrel

    Secret Squirrel certainly something

    I think we've had a misunderstanding, then. This is a thread to talk about what actions are appropriate in vent threads and why, which people have done. The place to be mad at void is your vent thread. I am sorry if I contributed to this confusion.
     
    • Like x 9
  5. KingStarscream

    KingStarscream watch_dogs walking advertisement

    This would probably be a good idea! If you make an AI thread, you can specify in the OP if you want someone to moderate, who you think should be able to respond, and ping the requested parties. I think it's something you should definitely consider.
     
    • Like x 8
  6. chaoticArbiter

    chaoticArbiter an actual shiny eevee (destroyer of worlds)

    ....well, for one thing, I didn't invite you into any threads, I just sort of showed up here, because I'm familiar with this kind of issue given that I made a vent thread-related mistake myself in the past.
    second, I can see how this might feel like dogpiling, but it's really not; people are trying to explain why it's felt that Void was in the right, and multiple people are doing it, because you seem to be consistently not understanding, and we're trying to help. not only that, but I have literally offered a suggestion of what you are meant to do: make an AI thread at some point, and ask Void if they want to respond to it, and see if you can hash things out. also, if you just want to talk about being mad at Void, then yeah, the place to do that is your vent thread.
     
    • Like x 9
  7. a small fis)(

    a small fis)( 26 people in a trench coat

    ill make an ai thread when im feeling calmer then.
     
    • Like x 5
  8. a small fis)(

    a small fis)( 26 people in a trench coat

    i still just cant trust someone who considers it acceptable to be that aggressive over a small mistake. reminds me of bad memories irl.
     
  9. chaoticArbiter

    chaoticArbiter an actual shiny eevee (destroyer of worlds)

    that's fair, it sounds like this could've linked to a trigger for you, which I can understand. but the thing to do, then, would be to explain that to Void in the AI thread, and try to get them to understand, while also trying to listen to them and what caused them to react so badly, and what they want from you. maybe they were triggered too. maybe they just didn't want a cuttle in their personal space and they were upset already and feeling fighty and so they got mad. like, I can understand you having hurt feelings, I can understand you being triggered, but imo, Void's behavior, while hurtful, was not out of line because it was in their vent thread. that doesn't mean you can't ask for an apology, since their behavior was hurtful, but given the way you reacted, I'd also say that I think if Void wants an apology from you, it would be within their right, and you should listen to them about why, and try to consider things from their perspective too. I'm not aiming to dismiss you here, I think both people have been hurtful in this case, and I don't really think either party was initially in the wrong, but I do think Void deserves to be listened to too here, just as you deserve to be listened to.
    that said, it's within either of your rights to choose to not interact with the other party in this case. you can make an AI thread, but if Void chooses not to respond, that's within their rights, they're exercising a boundary, and you've done about all you can do and at that point you may just have to move on without talking about it. I know that can be uncomfortable, I'm sorry, but I am trying to warn you just in case that happens.
     
    • Like x 9
  10. cantankerousAquarius

    cantankerousAquarius Acrasial Macrology

    Off topic! But wrt my issue with @Vivec last night, I think @ing someone while ur venting abt them is unambiguously switching front venting to attacking. If vent threads are for containing explosions, @ing the person is yanking them into the blast zone.
     
    • Like x 22
  11. TheMockingCrows

    TheMockingCrows Resident POTSie potato.

    In that situation im agreeing
    but at the same point it was also a direct invitation to engage in that space instead of an ai thread, from what i can teell
     
    • Like x 5
  12. cantankerousAquarius

    cantankerousAquarius Acrasial Macrology

    Eh, I was reading them trying to pass it off as "venting," or otherwise not a problem

    I don't have an issue @ing some1 to have a discussion, but this was an attack in their space on their terms with their friends present
     
    • Like x 5
  13. Ipuntya

    Ipuntya your purple friend

    you're completely mistaken. vivec has stated that they intend to run me of the forum, what they were posting was bait so they and their friends could scream at me for coming into their vent thread.

    vivec isn't looking to have a reasonable discussion, they are looking to gatekeep
     
  14. TheMockingCrows

    TheMockingCrows Resident POTSie potato.

    if that is your belief, then that is your belief
    i'm saying what i felt i saw
     
    • Like x 6
  15. (continuing to refer to void as "violent" and "dangerous" and comparing them to an anti saying you're disgusting just because they were angry when they told you to go away is So Incredibly Frustrating)
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2017
    • Like x 15
  16. swirlingflight

    swirlingflight inane analysis and story spinning is my passion

    General announcement: intending to run anyone out of the forum is fucking stupid.
     
    • Like x 21
  17. missoyashirou

    missoyashirou Someone please give me a tiny dog to play with

    Especially since ignore is a function for all accounts. Literally, if you dislike someone enough to need to drive them out like you're a Disney villain who's going to kill the beast, then maybe you should sit down and toggle that 'ignore' button. You can even go back in a few months when the anger passes and untoggle the ignore, if you think you no longer want to chase someone down with a stick made of internet drama.
     
    • Like x 8
  18. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    A lot of this is reading like "I'm mad at user x and I want community/mod action leveled against them so that they know they are bad." Ie. Let's Make A User X Hate Thread.

    No, let's not. That's shitty.

    To review, people are allowed to respond to things said about them in vent threads, but not in the vent thread itself. That can be done in their own vent thread, it can be done by confronting them in "That Could Have Gone Better," or really just anywhere that isn't that person's personal space. (If you bring that stuff to an unrelated thread just be prepared for the other people in the thread to tell you to cut it out. Making topic threads suddenly be about a personal fight is rude. *cough*)

    People CAN behave poorly even in their personal space, and you're allowed to confront them about it, but please follow the guidelines when doing so.
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2017
    • Like x 20
  19. Mercury

    Mercury 17 Quicksilver Scribe Tramples The Unrepentant

    Quoting to reinforce this, and to point out that this is things said about oneself. I gather there's a lot of policing of other people's vent threads over the past few days, and that is fucking ridiculous. Grab a clue and see yourself out of the vent threads of people you don't like or who you think don't like you. Adblock the thread title if you don't have the self-control not to look. Mind your own business and, like magic, there will be considerably less drama.
     
    • Like x 23
  20. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    A note about intruding posts in vent threads; if the OP wants a post removed they should report the post. Seems like sometimes people are willing to talk in their vent threads, and each OP is free to set their own boundaries regarding that.

    When a report by a vent thread's OP happens, I'll probably ask if the parties involved want the posts deleted or moved. Do not be alarmed, the reported post(s) WILL be removed, we just need to know how that removal will happen.
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2017
    • Like x 10
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice