Vent Walk-in freezer (general-purpose vent thread)

Discussion in 'Brainbent' started by seebs, Jun 1, 2016.

  1. Ipuntya

    Ipuntya your purple friend

    everything itches my whole body it hes especially my lower face i want to scratch it i want to scratch it all i have to scratch it my fingers are red and i keep scratching scritch scratch scritch scratch doc scratch it keeps itxhing but it won't go away i won't go away why won't it go away why won't i go away why don't i leave it's so funny i'm crying because the itching won't stop and itch hurts i feel hurt why won't the pain go away either i deserve it all hahahaha
     
    • Like x 1
  2. kmoss

    kmoss Under Construction

    teammate is almost definitely unmedicated adhd, literally cannot keep up with how irritating he is
    he keeps shoving into conversations that he ISNT IN and expecting other people to explain shit to him
    he's like a spoiled puppy four years later
    also the next time he touches me or looms over me I'm going to solar plex him, because how many times do I have to say DONT TOUCH ME before he fucking figures it out
    we have a really intense project in Houston soon, and I don't want to snap at him, but he's so fucking irritating, especially since if you tell him he's doing anything wrong he literally sulks four days
    what a fucking child
    he's 22, fucking act like it
     
  3. Erica

    Erica occasionally vaguely like a person

    i hate not being able to think of myself as someone others could consider to be attractive unless they're Gross Dudes (tm) who would fuck anyone and anything that moves 'cause they don't really want a sex partner they just want someone they have power over and i hate not being able to tell if i want to be seen in a sexual way or not
    does the thought of someone telling me i'm attractive skeeve me out because it trips over my self image issues or because i don't want to be seen as attractive?? oh wait no i know the answer to that i'ts the former lmao i fucking love being constantly afraid of failure and not being enough this is amazing i cannot believe how much i apparently think i'm broken in the sex department for literally no reason oh this is great
    terrible awful thought: is any of this fueled or made worse by knowing that out of the 4 people who have been in relationships or non-relationships with me 3 are asexual and the last was so long distance i only met her once ? would i be able to consider myself a sexual being in the eyes of other people if it wasn't for how this is apparently a pattern?? am i an awful person for even having that thought? probably!!! wow!!! fucking hell i hate myself so much right now
     
  4. ANON1(a)+?

    ANON1(a)+? Vent Time|18+

    I feel weird because someone mentioned a person with my ex's deadname being a jerk, and I know that person literally can't be my ex but... still, weird. It feels really fucking weird and uncomfortable.
     
    • Like x 1
  5. KingStarscream

    KingStarscream watch_dogs walking advertisement

    argh i dont know why ihave a phobia of blood but its REALLY INVCONVINEINT when i am the man what does things like clean up broken glass im still coming down off the panic attack and had to literally force myself to walk off the fainting spell argh why
     
    • Like x 1
  6. TheMockingCrows

    TheMockingCrows Resident POTSie potato.

    there is no politically correct way for me to say "Will you please just shut up, the spotlight has moved on, you will survive if you just start moving along too instead of staying still" or "I don't know you, I don't care about you, and the more you flip the less I WANT to know you" without coming across as a gigantic dick. I need more words, I don't have the words I need to express these ideas, and with how cagey I get around people sometimes they are phrases I need. I want friends, yes, but not with someone who gives me the heebie jeebies.
     
    • Like x 2
  7. VintageBear

    VintageBear Active Member

    Barely starting to come out of a mind-numbing, month long depressive episode.

    Also. I feel tremendously guilty because in my friend group I am the "group mom" meant to be understanding and supportive. But after cutting things off with a friend, watching them spiral into depression you've had to cope with for years from the sidelines sounds like a betrayal of my identity. Everything in me wants to help her and make things go back to normal.....but every time i think about it, i remember how drained she made me feel. How small and irrelevant. I was only a friend because I was a friend to her Favorite Person first. So anyone associated with that friend is someone she NEEDS TO KNOW.

    Nothing me or other friend tried to help her with stuck for very long. She was manipulative and oblivious. Yes, we didnt do well to communicate when she was hurting us. But when we DID, both of us were drowned out by her dramatic whining about how much of a horrible person she is and how she's just -waiting- for us to abandon her. Thus, beyond the moping, she takes no accountability and never tries to learn. as such, we havent made progress in understanding her either, since we've spent so much time in the past defending ourselves and trying to tell her an action she's doing is wrong and/or not taking our creative processes into account

    I just feel like i never meant much to her in the end....and that's what keeps me from putting my hand in her problems anymore. Because i fucking hate myself enough.
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2016
    • Like x 1
  8. tinyhydra

    tinyhydra a dingus

    It's really hard to tell if my meds are working. I'm not taking them in a vacuum, so how the fuck am I to know if my upswing in mood is due to meds or the fact that I got a job I like? I've been taking meds, but I'm also bored and restless at work and afraid of being replaced. So, is my sudden depressive episode cause my meds are not working or what the fuck? But today i was being all boo hoo i wanna die, and then i got a task with a clear end goal and siddenly I'm right as rain. Who the fuck wven knows?
    But every time I try and explain this to my med guy, she looks at me like I'm being deliberately obtuse. I don't know if they're working!! How the fuck about that!! It's hard to fucking tell! Stop asking me crap I can't goddamn answer.
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2016
  9. keltena

    keltena putting the fun in executive dysfunction

    Worst depressed spell I've had in months and it's so bad I've missed two therapy appointments in a row despite needing therapy now more than ever and I've been alone at home all day every day because my brother has work and my mom is at the hospital with my dad and I've spent sizeable portions of each day just sleeping because what else can I do for all this time and my eating is even more terrible and unhealthy and disordered than ever before and I don't know how to stop it and it hurts being in this body it hurts being in this life it hurts being me, I just want it to stop, I don't want to feel this I don't want to live like this I don't know how I'm going to bear one more day of this without going mad let alone however much it's actually going to take, I know I don't really want to die but I want out of this body and out of this life and out of this world so bad, I've been low-key dissociating every time I have enough undistracted time to be aware of my body because I hate it so much right now and I can't do this I don't know what to do
     
  10. Ipuntya

    Ipuntya your purple friend

    i came into the thread to vent about something else but now i'm really freaked out bc i thought it was a dream when i typed up whatever the shit this is what the fuck
     
  11. Ipuntya

    Ipuntya your purple friend

    why is my memory so foggy
     
  12. Lambda

    Lambda everything happens so much

    I kind of just want to skip forward to being dead already. like, there's good stuff in life and things that I enjoy, but it's probably not enough to outweigh how shitty and terrifying and hopeless being alive generally is. and the good stuff can be taken away and the hobbies can stop being fun, so I can't rely on that
     
  13. Everett

    Everett local rats so small, so tiny

    my aunt's health issues are getting worse and also she continues to bury her entire apartment in stuff. she has mobility issues and now needs to carry around an oxygen tank and shes ordering more stuff from ebay. i dont particularly like her as a person but like. can her situation please get better.
     
  14. Emma

    Emma Your resident resident

    I did a thing, it didn't work out and now I feel bad. Stupid thoughts are stupid, who needs romance anyway?
    Also: why can't anything ever go my way?
     
  15. Newlyread

    Newlyread Killer Queen

    feeling pretty unappreciated and unneeded and unloved across the board atm, from friends to family to husband. Hope the feeling passes quickly.
     
  16. ANON1(a)+?

    ANON1(a)+? Vent Time|18+

    I'm getting a bit anxiety-triggered by a discussion that has literally shit-all to do with me and that likely won't ever affect my life. Why?!?!?
     
  17. Aniseed

    Aniseed Well-Known Member

    i'm really upset and really angry. and trying really hard not to cry. my doctor didn't tell me i'd be taking medicine for my hypothyroidism for the rest of my life. i didn't really know. i don't know why she didn't tell me. i guess i kind of figured at some point but reading that yes this is something i'll have to deal with forever is really making me upset.
     
    • Like x 1
  18. IvyLB

    IvyLB Hardcore Vigilante Gay Chicken Facilitator

    "There is a thing in april"
    "I don't have money or time or spoons"
    "I could lend you some money"
    "I don't have time or spoons, and I don't want to borrow 120 bucks from someone for an event I wouldn't enjoy because of lack of spoons"
    "But I want you to go! We could sleep in a youth hostel and it would be cheaper"
    "I DON'T HAVE TIME OR SPOONS"
    IT
    CAN'T
    BE
    THAT
    HARD
     
    • Like x 5
  19. KingStarscream

    KingStarscream watch_dogs walking advertisement

    i can remember if this gum container had gum in it and OGF COURSE the fuckign dog got up on the counter and had it when i went ot check on him so i dont know if hes going to drop dead in thirty minutes and i might fucking cry oh my god

    i cant be sure if he even GOT any of of his breath doesnt smell like gum but i have no idea where this came from because it had to have been on the counter but???? WE CANNOT AFFORD TO HAVE ANOTHER FUCKING EMERGENCY ROOM VISIT BECAUSE OF HIM ICANT
    FUCKING
    AFFORD IT

    and i dont know if i can afford to????? wait until the mornign????????????? becuse the only vet open is the emrgency vet like ALWAYS and im gonna probably have a panic attakc
     
  20. IvyLB

    IvyLB Hardcore Vigilante Gay Chicken Facilitator

    THERE IS ANOTHER STUPID SECRET TRADE AGREEMENT
    WHY
    LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE WITH THIS KIND OF SECRET BULLSHIT TREATY SHIT THAT TRIES TO GET AROUND EXISTING REGULATIONS FUCKIN
    WHY
    IT CAN'T BE SO HARD TO EXPECT GOVERNMENTS NOT TO LIE AND KEEP SECRETS LIKE THIS
    FUCK TiSA
     
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