Vent Walk-in freezer (general-purpose vent thread)

like.. it has to be fine, there's no lasting damage and it came literally right back on w/ nothing missing or lost or even closed. just. Frustrating, esp when it wasn't something like overheating or anything. Spooked. and absolutely fucking terrified still bc like. there is no contingency plan, if it goes down sometime. i have no way of earning money without it. i'd have to use housemates laptop to check emails. i dont own a phone. i'd have no communication with the world at large without it.

its terrifying to even consider and is honestly one of my biggest fears. :<

 

most laptops have seperate power settings for plugged in/unplugged. If you haven't already checked that, it might be worth it, it could've just thought it was time to sleep because it had been 5/10 etc. minutes since last use or whatever.

 

that's where the mystery comes in: all the settings are fine and i was in the middle of typing something. i didnt see any updates needing installed/trying to install aside from the antivirus and that's a manual update.

no overheating, no odd updates, no sudden jostling, no battery fail, no settings off or altered from usual. ...v weird glitch. 8I;

 

my win 10 laptop occasionally does that, i think it's an operating system glitch of some sort.

 

:U! mine's a windows 10 too. the only problems i've had with it is that weird "keyboard doesn't work and you cannot in fact actually turn off or restart the computer until you unplug it then pull the battery wire and put it back" hiccup but thats obv mechanical, as was the weird brief problem of my D drive just... disappearing??? never figured that out aside from guessing it was loose and jiggling it fixed it. and... i wanna say a few weeks ago i had a moment where laptop turned itself off suddenly, with no warning. nooo idea for that either.

but a friend mentioned hers does even stranger, so paired w/ your response.. i guess i won't worry too much but when i can start getting money i'm still gonna squirrel away some funds in cash Just In Fucking Case bc i am. so tired of having 0 safety nets in my life, so absolutely tired of it 8I;;;; looming potential problems, no matter how vague or rare it may be, make me wanna set up backup plans wherever i can. just in case.

 

Spoiler: dead dove reference

Sometimes I fantasise about being a personal slave or a circus exhibit because then at least it would matter to someone that I was there. I want enough to be entertaining or useful that even that seems worth it.

 

Is it okay to just give up and accept that the system is fucked and will never want me?

 

I think it's okay to feel like that, cause feelings aren't inherently bad. But I think even if one system is broken, others might not be. Or they might be less broken, which could be an improvement.

 

Just miserable about my work situation again. Regular employment didn't work. Self-employment isn't working. Should I just give up and be on disability for the rest of my life?

 

I got...4 hours of sleep last night? Maybe 3? Lying in bed with two hrs to go until I have to be up and no ability to sleep and also the awareness that this is going to make my real person job hell on Earth today.

 

Spoiler: “emetophobia warning it’s unpleasant”

new scientific discovery: hangovers are The Fucking Worst! sincerely, someone who is now more familiar with the taste of my own stomach acid than it is really necessary for anyone to be, ever

At least I have candied ginger burnt toast and salty lemon water to save my life

 

Watching Black Mirror and every time this girl mispronounces 'San Junipero' I want to scream

 

@TrillianAri I get that way with YouTubers pronouncing kitsune as "kit-soon". THAT'S NOT HOW ROMAJI WORKS

On an unrelated note, the next radfem I see going on about how periods make them so wonderful and speshul is getting a very detailed description of the last time I had diarrhoea!

 

Ultimate Troll Goal: convince English-speakers to do the same thing to kitsune that they do to sake, because it seems like English doesn't handle the Japanese e noise on the end of a word very well. (SAH-kay is reasonably close to sake, though the Japanese vowel is more a single pure ehhh sound than a diphthong. KEET-soon-AY is reasonably close to kitsune, though the non-diphthong thing still holds true.) Get people saying KIT-soo-KNEE. Laugh at the evil you have wrought.

 

WHY THE HELL IS LITERALLY EVERYONE IGNORING EVERY ATTEMPT I MAKE TO GET ANY STRAIGHT ANSWERS ON WHETHER MY IDEAS ARE ANY GOOD

 

I AM SO SICK OF GETTING BLAND PLATITUDES INSTEAD OF ACTUAL CRITIQUE, HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT TO POINT TO A WORD ON A LIST AND SAY "I LIKE THAT ONE"?

 

ARGH! Finally got people to reply to a Reddit thread about the business name and got idiot going "waaaa why won't you use my idea that's ludicrously overused and is the exact opposite of the image you're going for, you're a bitch waaaa" and they won't fucking shut up!

 

Spoiler: sorta nsfw, menstruation-y and vague sex life talk

Me: Hey google, my cycle's being weird--
Google: YOU'RE PREGNANT
Me: Uh, I'm gay, so not that, but anyways I've been spotting--
Google: BIRTH CONTROL REACTION
Me: No, like, my cycle's always been mild and consistent and I'm Gay so I don't take birth contro--
Google: OK PROBABLY STDS THEN

i mean fair you caught me i've had unprotected fingering with a fair amount of people but like. c'mon.
the real reason is probably stress tbh, but also strong enough family history of fibroids is making my body go NOPE NOPE NOPE DEATH

in summary; body, why you gotta spot for 10 days straight? What the fuck?? my period better come on time and clean this shit up or else i'm going to actually be responsible and go to the gynecologist for the first time >:U

 

I got a job and that's really good but I also need to figure out insurance because of it and I am dealing with so many body aches right now that are waking me up at night that I'm constantly exhausted, and to top it all off, I fucking fell and bruised and scraped the shit out of my knees yesterday on the way to work so most of the stretches I was recommended for my back and rib pain are a major no go while I can't kneel on my day off.

I just wish I could have a week outside of time to rest and then jump back into my life, I'm so tired :(

 

Thanks, brain, 2 am is exactly when I needed that adrenaline spike. Certainly not earlier when I could have used it to clean my room or something. You really nailed it this time, brain.