Vent Walk-in freezer (general-purpose vent thread)

Months later, this is continuing to bother me A Lot. Like, this is the main thing that comes to the forefront when I'm having an episode: "Remember how you drove away [name]? Yeah, it's only a matter of time before you do it to everybody else. Hell, you probably already have and you just don't know it."

Also I'm breaking down really easily these days. I made a special corner in my back room for just lying on the floor and crying. Basically any time I offend someone or think I've offended someone I absolutely lose my shit and it's like there's a voice in my head yelling at me about what a piece of shit I am. This happened earlier when I added on to a post to try to make it more inclusive/relatable to people like me, and it really pissed off the person I reblogged it from (not the OP). I don't want to hurt people but it keeps happening and I don't know waht to do.

 

wow I am

triggered to hell

I haven't been this dissociated in a long time and it's! not great

 

all I can think is that I need everyone to leave so I can think

 

Spoiler: violence discourse

I genuinely do not give a fuck about the moral ramifications of hitting political enemies. I care that it DEMONSTRABLY MAKES THINGS WORSE.

 

Spoiler: homestuck rant

"we're people we don't have arcs"

-How Not to Write a Novel

 

Other fat people look great. I look like a disgusting blob :(

 

@ChelG sympathies my dude. I had very similar feels about my body until I unfucked my gender issues properly.

 

I do this all the time. I hold myself to standards I'd never consciously hold another person to, and I can't tell if I hate myself or I actually am that awful of a person and actually judging other people too.

 

I feel like part of my problem might be defensive weight, but that makes no logical sense. Being assaulted certainly added to my gorging problem, but the shithead who did it made a point of it being BECAUSE I was fat. Well, going to try building muscle and seeing if that helps more than trying to get skinny, and that'll help me tell if that's the problem, I guess? Anyone else dealt with this?

 

Anxiety attacks at one in the morning

 

So I pretty much have proof positive that the reason I'm not a successful artist is because I don't like guys with long hair, which is a fun thing I've suspected for a while now so it's nice (read: not) to have it confirmed.

 

Spoiler: ED

I've never purged before but I'm feeling queasy from overeating last night and then having a rotten day, and the combination is making me really want to go eat an entire cake and then throw it up even though I know that won't help.

 

Fearful screeching

 

Spoiler: concept of bestiality discussion

i wish there was a convenient place on the internet to just like. read expert opinion and scientific research on the morality of things that most people just consider immoral because of squick response
signed a person who doesnt quite understand why bestiality is wrong but is gonna trust people on that anyways, but boy would really like reasoned pieces on it instead of internet screaming. i'm just curious about people's non 'because it's gross' reasoning. guhhh.

sorry this is gross and possibly not super appropriate here but??? literally no clue where else to express this

 

Spoiler: Well let's put it here I guess

Basically, an animal isn't exactly able to consent at all while still being a sentient being, and while there are arguments like "But if they don't understand the concept of consent, they can't be hurt by it!", I'd say that's pretty stupid. Because well, you can say the same thing about an infant.

 

Spoiler: continuing that

On top of that, it's a bad idea anyway because it has a high potential for spreading diseases and injuring one party or the other because animals and humans are not built to be reproductively compatible. Ever heard of Kenneth Pinyan? Well, now you have.

 

Spoiler: it continues

I've heard that one, what confuses me is the fundamental difference between animal and infant is adult animals also have sex, and as far as i can tell we generally have a gauge for knowing whether animal on same species animal copulation is rape or not, considering some species like ducks and dolphins get a reputation for lots of rape. So if animals are able to have consentual or nonconsentual sex with others of their own species, how come its impossible to have a situation where an animal's consentually with a human? Is it just that we have imperfect ways to communicate with other species?

Spoiler: it goes on and on my friends

ahhh yes i am familiar with that man's story. yeah safety's a legitimate concern, thats definitely true.

 

Spoiler: anon

Spoiler: reply

people who study animal behavior don’t call sexual coercive behavior rape for this very reason. rape is a solely human construct. people who refer to apparently-coercive sex between animals as rape are technically in error because animals aren’t sentient and do not have concepts of consent; their actions carry no moral weight.

conversely, a human having sex with an animal is still rape because that human knows damn well what rape is and why it’s wrong.

 

Spoiler: unrelated vague

... yeah, no, i think if your therapist outright recs you underage porn as a coping mechanism you've got some serious questions to ask. saying that's okay if you do it, sure, but pointing people towards it if they hadn't considered it?

 

Lol don't talk to me about ladystuck tarot