Vent Walk-in freezer (general-purpose vent thread)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa adhd

 

My friend's puppy got killed by a car :(

 

Other friend I mentioned upthread is complaining to me about stuff her roommate has done which make her (the roommate, I mean) sound legitimately sociopathic, while still defending her and refusing to consider attempting to leave. I know it's not that simple, but I don't know what to do.

 

skip an appointment because you have the flu: the other person gets mad that you skipped the appointment

go to an appointment despite still having the flu (with a shit ton of cough drops to keep The Coughs at bay until you can leave the appointment*): the other person gets mad that you might infect them

* I legitimately thought that you can't infect someone if you don't touch them or cough, because, as always, I am dumbo

 

Spoiler: self harm mention cw

if someone does what is essentially self harm in front of you and you freak out, who's the asshole? does it change when the self harm is liveblogged over text and is like. not stereotypical self harm? i dont know but i cant calm down and im so so so angry

 

Spoiler

The person doing the self harm in front of you is the problem. Not you. Self harm sucks and the things that drive one to do it sucks, but it is on oneself to have the sense not to hurt oneself in front of another person like that. It's highly manipulative and if done as a pattern to control how you treat them it can be a kind of abuse (see: people threatening to kill themselves if you break up with them).

 

thank you. boundaries me is furious and hurt and aggressive caretaker me feels like shit. its. very helpful to know that something Not Great occured and im not super over reacting

 

Sure thing. I'm happy it's helped.

 

love to know that my mom is speculating with her sister on my sexuality, love to know that they figure I only came out as bi because I was afraid to tell her I'm a lesbian

love to hear all of this when it doesn't even feel relevant because I've been fucking single for two years

ya love to see it!

 

Work related screaming

 

today at the yearly meeting of a group/amateur sports team i've been a member of for about two years it turned out there's a facebook group chat in addition to the facebook group
i'm in the group but not in the group chat
literally everyone else is
it's not malicious exclusion. they just. forgot to add me. and nobody noticed
i really really did not like having to, in front of all of them, acknowledge how utterly forgettable i apparently am
:)

 

I have being 28 and living on my own and being sick because my mum doesn't come and take care of me like she did when I lived at home

:(

 

repeated headdesking and mumbling something about never doing a responsibility ever again

 

Legit question; is it suicidal ideation to not want to die, but to want to never have to leave my room again? Not to end my life, but to stop participating in it?

 

I feel that it’s similar. Suicidal ideation comes as much from being overwhelmed by life as anything else, that sounds like.... suicidal ideation but targeting a better enemy than yourself ??

source: years of gradually and gently shifting suicidal ideation that takes different forms with different elemental strengths and weaknesses as the years go by. But I level up

 

the sudden and comprehensive understanding you're actually a huge fucking hypocrite

i refuse to pirate books and found out my friend a fellow librarian doers and she said i have no right to complain as i pirate a shit ton of movies and shows and somehow??? i never considered this??? and now im pissed at myself

 

The other day my psychiatrist had to have the conversation with me that's like, "I can't just keep fucking putting you on more medications, at some point you have to put in some work yourself if you want to stop being depressed"

And I'm like

V________V.........................

 

Is this considered a trauma you think? I had a bad night and rn I’m antsy and on the edge and I wonder if I might have been traumatized even tho the occurence is fairly common/mundane for me

ok so my dad has this thing he does where he will randomly be super flakey and he will occasionally go missing for like a day. This is really fucking stressful when it happens. Today it took me 20 hours to get in touch with him and even though he is fine I still had a panic attack and I still started wondering if he had died/had a medical emergency or worse. I’ve spent a lot of energy worrying about him the past day and now I’m fixating on other unrelated things and feeling jittery

I feel dumb because he’s always returned when he has done it, and I feel like I should be used to it by now, but would a death scare like that be considered trauma and can that be the reason why I’m so unnerved/on edge even after closure?

 

I dont know if you're looking for a serious answer, but yes, that can be considered trauma. Anything really can be considered trauma if it had a lasting effect on you. I'm sorry that that happens to you, he should be more mindful of what he's doing when he does that.

 

Oh I was asking for legit answers because I can’t tell personally. That makes sense but is jarring to think about, I’m trying to invite him to a therapy session with me next week