I was actually going to say this as well, and yes, it is safe for people but you'll have to figure out the dosage. It's a really common prepper trick and cheap to stock up on though.
I finished Assassin's Fate, I will now be totally and completely useless to everyone for days. *continues sobbing*
The job search continues to be terrible. It's basically a constant nagging anxiety now making it so I'm always just a little bit sick no matter what. I have been much more successful with the health and weight loss thing than I have with the job thing. Since November/December I've lost almost 30 pounds and I'm starting to be able to wear clothes I haven't been able to wear since before grad school. Which, thank God because I have a friend's wedding to go to this weekend and I don't want to buy a dress. I am annoyed that my super comfortable pajama skirts don't stay on my hips anymore but that is easily solved with a safety pin. I have a goal weight I'm sort of on track to reach by my birthday, but I'm still deeply skeptical. Who knows how things will go. It is amazing to me that I can do this without making myself panic or long for death. Therapy really does help, like, a lot. Like, I sometimes start to get down on myself for not doing this sooner but I couldn't before, and it's amazing that I can now. I'm so grateful for my therapy place that lets me go even without insurance.
Congrats on working toward your goal! Even if you can't meet it by your preferred time that's still progress. I believe in you. :)
Thank you guys! @Alaspooralice I really appreciate that, thank you. I'm finding that I don't super care about doing things on a schedule or getting them perfect. I'm feeling better physically and mentally for lots of reasons, so if I happen to meet what honestly feels like an arbitrary goal then that's cool, but if not I'm still progressing in a variety of ways. My goal is to get to a weight that's considered "normal" for my height and age, but honestly I'm already pretty happy. My broader goal (the thing I'm actually concerned with) is to be friends with my body, to actually live here instead of holding myself apart from it. When I lived with my mom everything was so filthy all the time that I just disconnected from my living space. I've been able to connect with, live in, and take care of my space, but extending that to my actual body has been incredibly difficult. I've felt like my body is disgusting and wrong and a liability for my entire life. Being in my skin felt like walking around in clothes wet with cat pee and smelling of smoke all the time. I never felt in control of it, so I'd just barely tolerate it because I had no other options, much like the house I lived in growing up. And losing weight has not helped those feelings, it went the opposite way. Feeling like maybe I wasn't disgusting, and that I could tolerate living in this body made me able to interact with my health. And like, I still feel fucking gross sometimes, and want to cringe out of my skin. But those are distinct moments instead of just a constant state of being. It's wonderful, I never thought I could feel comfortable like this.
For your comfy skirts, honestly if I could I´d take then in for oyu but since I can´t I could try and dig up good explanations of how that´s done if you need them?
That would be really helpful, thank you! They are just simple circle skirts with elastic waist bands. The elastic seems a bit exhausted, but I think that if I could just take it in a few inches that would solve the problem.
The kind of elastic waist where the elastic is inside a tube situation so it scrunches up around you?
In that case it´s a super easy fix. Find yourself the seam where that tube is closes and open it. Put your skirt on and then pull your elastic out till it´s a tight as you like it and tie it off and cut off the end. If you have a dead elastic, you can pull it out and replace it this way. Then you sew your acess hole shut like this:
Conflict triggers my hypervigilance, and I spent my morning surrounded by the very exciting combination of antifa+police+potential white supremacists (that last group ran off but the potential of them was scary) and then a good portion of my evening arguing at length with Seebs. That might not have been the best decision for my nerves.
So... My mom died. My youngest brother found her. I'm not... really... sure how I'm feeling. Is just crying while feeling nothing a thing?
Definitely a thing. Make sure you've got water to replace what you're crying out if it's extended bouts. edit: also if you get headaches from crying, you may wanna have ur preferred headache med handy. grief is a tricky beast.
Yup. Also wash your eyes, the salt in tears can be irritating to the skin around them. -hugs if wanted-
i'm not sure what helpful words i can offer here, but, witnessed, and crying without feeling is totally possible
I cannot believe this timing. I'm going into my first therapy appointment with my new therapist on Monday and I'll have to be like, "So..." It's like... Upsetting and horrible but also funny? Today is my girlfriend's birthday and she was like "holy shit, I'll never get a better present" and I laughed. The day after tomorrow is my husband's birthday too, so we were celebrating both tonight. It's weird and funny and awful. We have ice cream cake and presents and friends over and my mom is dead. My mom is dead...
Ah, damn, I'm sorry. Some things things are complex and tangled and bizarre and not knowing how to feel about them is fine too. It takes time. Be kind to yourself.
