What do you do with anger?

This was something I briefly mentioned in the self mutilation mega thread but over the years my coping mechanisms for dealing with stress and anger has been whittled down to "suppress it, wait for it to blow up, hurt self."

Tonight I am just angry and I don't know why. Not angry enough to hurt myself, but I want to know some ways you guys deal. Between this and not feeling a lot of empathy at the moment all I really want to do is send hurtful messages to people I don't like, and that's not the kind of person I want to be. I just want to take my frustration out on something.

 

i'm bad at anger so i'm probably not the best for advice, i basically do what you do.

i have noticed that if i'm feeling agitated and something comes up where i have to do some sort of strenuous activity, i feel quite a bit better afterwards. if you're capable of doing so, maybe some exercise? or even put on some music that gets your blood pumping and spin around in circles or thrash-dance for a while.

 

i've heard that i might short-circuit my anxiety response through anger (i also do this with sadness, pain, and occasionally genuine happiness comes out like anger so *shrug*)

I like real pissy music, (for instance, the nogitsune!stiles tag on 8tracks is perfect), shower, and then i practice boxing for a bit. If that don't work, I'll drink coffee while playing video games

(the real trick is remembering that these things work when i am angry, worried, sad, in pain, or happy)

 

Seconding the physical activity. Also writing works well for me sometimes--journaling or else writing about people blowing things up or something. Or violent video games--digital devil saga is my favorite so i get to tell my mate "cant talk now, devouring my enemies" but fighting games or shooters might also work. Drawing people with injuries has been a useful substitute for actually hurting myself. Ranting out loud, if theres someone who can just nod along like "yep so and so is a huge bitch, naw lets not ACTUALLY tell her to go set herself on fire lets just think about it fondly instead" rather than flipping out their own self. we really should make that vent thread here.

Im sorry you're having a rough time.

 

Hrmm. There was a really good post about this on tumblr, but it is buried deep and I don't think I can find it. But basically, try a bunch of outlets and see which ones work. Some examples:

Work/Cleaning(angry cleaning is best cleaning)
Music
Physical exercise
Art
Writing
Crafts(I melt crayons on candles)

Also, trying to puzzle out why you're angry helps a lot. Sometimes it's subtle frustration that sneaks up on you. Sometimes you are hungry(btw, my general rule for arguments is to always eat before solving them. It helps a lot). Sometimes there is an obvious source and ranting(or any of the previous things) can help relieve it. So, try experimenting, see what works for you. I can give specific examples if you'd like, but different things work for different people.

 

i have, historically, been very bad at constructively processing anger. i am still not great at it. i tend to journal/type what i really want to say and/or do into Notepad, or if i have the option, go for a drive and blast music and sing along.

i have gotten a little better at embracing the anger and riding it out rather than bottling it up and ignoring it. but. history.

 

Oddly, I've found the best way to deal with anger is to completely ignore it. It sounds crazy, but I try to not focus on being mad, and instead try to focus on other things.

I've known since I was about 12 or so that if I stay too mad for too long that it really stresses out my heart and it starts acting up. Likely MVP since dad has it and its hereditary, and is vastly harmless, but you know.