hi! i'm guessing some ppl here will be familiar with what happened with my tumblr and idk... i've left it a pretty long time now and i'm still not sure what i'm gonna do, so i'd reely appreseate advice if anyone can i guess ;; i deleted over there a couple weeks ago; i saw somefin that triggers my paranoia untagged, had a panic attack and an alter fronted. charm isn't a nice person at the best of times and basically had a breakdown over there, telling people to die and guilt tripping people and threatening to hurt me/our body. i deleted the blog as soon as i could, and i've talked + apologized to the people charm hurt most by now, although i did kinda ignore them just out of fear at first - it doesn't help that like i said, the thing i saw was something that's a major trigger for my paranoia and i've still been panicky about even recently. idk, i know there are still people over there who are mad and they have a right to be but it makes me so nervous and i don't know if i want to come back or not right now... i remade just to tell people i was safe and i got some hate and people vaguing me back then. tumblr meant a lot to me as somewhere i felt i had lots of people who cared about me and i could genuinely help people and i miss it a lot but idk what to do from now. i don't want anything like that to happen again and i feel like an awful person and i'm so scared of people hating me... i'm reely not shore what'd be best to do ;;
maybe remake under a new url, tell only close friends that you remade at [new url], and don't post exact identifying details in your description/about? like, try for a fresh start?
idk, that's been suggested and it's not reely what i wanna do? ideally i'd just want to apologize for what happened and get back to where i was and i'd probably be pretty easy to recognize anyway.. idk!! i miss everyone i had there a lot but i'm worried people hate me anyway ;;
if you've apologized and done your best to make up and make good then... that's kinda all you can do. if people still hate you after that it is their choice and if you want to return to blogging as before then you're gonna have to just ignore them. block the people who hate on you so they can't come and harass you, utilize new-xkit to blacklist specific users so you can't see their posts, etc. i dunno what else to suggest, but yeah.
yeah, i guess that's the rational answer but my anxiety is just gonna be so bad knowing people hate me... idk. i'm just not shore whether i'd even want to return or not ;;
I wish I could offer you good advice, little fish, but it's real quandary. On the one hand, triggery content is going to be out there and it's not always going to be properly tagged. There's always a chance you'll encounter it, so I guess the big question becomes how well you can manage the fallout. The fact that you were able to act responsibly afterward, like apologizing to people who were hurt, seems like a good sign. But the fact you feel like a terrible person is more worrying. If you went through something like this again, while still feeling this way, I think it could hurt you more. It might be worth working toward forgiving yourself first. But if you do decide it's worth that risk, you have people here who will help you keep swimming. You won't have to be alone.
I'd say definitely take some more time off. Time and distance will help both you and the people who might still be mad at you. Use the time off to take care of yourself and review your strategies for avoiding triggers and handling encountering them so you can go back better prepared! Maybe be more picky about who you follow so there's less chance of stuff slipping past your blacklist?
i'm probably going to <3 i'm just still upset over it lately, so much of my self esteem was that i was popular and liked there and i could help people and hhh... it's all gone.
A thing I have learned is to accept and even appreciate the temporariness of things. It used to really haunt me that stuff wouldn't stay stable and unchanging, but now I find it easier, and I even find the fact imbues certain experiences with an additional beauty. (it's funny to me that I didn't really get that back when I was more active in goth culture, but I get it now that I'm more goth-solo) Anyway, my point is that the good time you miss came to an end, and that's worth missing and feeling sad about. Without that feeling those feels, it's difficult or impossible to move forward into new good thing and to fully appreciate them. As much as I don't like that you think badly of yourself, maybe you need to let that feeling flow through you before you can let it go - as long as you can do so safely, please! (professional guidance is highly recommended for this sort of thing)
thankyou aaa... i just want it all back so badly and idk if it'd be safe to try go back there right now i just don't see what else i could be happy with ;;
@a small fis)( Well, there's always hanging around here! I'm sure you can be liked and helpful here, even if it's not quite the same.
yes there is aaa!! i guess i just miss tumblr lots and idk. idk if it's a good idea to try plan to go back or ;;
You don't have to choose "go back" or "stay away forever" right now. You can always decide to wait a couple weeks or whatever time period seems good and see how you feel then. And if you're still really scared then, you can choose to wait a couple more weeks. Or you could choose to go back and just lurk or just reblog stuff. You don't have to dive back in, you can dip your toes in and sea!
