Which kintsugijin should you fight?

@pixels wrote:

• @Vast Derp: vastderp. VD takes notes. VD screencaps. VD is an elephant. And an elephant never forgets. VD remembers what you said three years ago in that one post. VD knows who you're vagueblogging about. VD remembers your history. VD gets alerts when you update your blog. You can try to fight VD, but it had better be "for usage of the word 'fight' that means civil discourse and disagreement." If you insist on fighting VD, you might win the fight, but VD will win the war.
• @seebs: Why are you even trying to fight Seebs. Seebs is an interdimensional geometric isomorph in neon against a black background. Seebs has no need to stoop down to human forms and means of communication and emotions. Seebs chooses to do so anyway. Why you would want to fight a cosmological structure is beyond me. If you must, no one wins or loses, but I guarantee you, you'll walk away feeling disoriented and unsure about your life choices. Sometimes this is a desired outcome.
• @Snitchanon: The audience. Come for the snark, stay for the pithy one-liners.
• @Rongeur: It doesn't matter. Rongeur will make a write-up and make you regret fighting in the first place.

What about others? Should you fight @pixels @wes scripserat? @Wiwaxia?

Fight me, y'all.

 

Do me do me do me

 

Do not fight @pixels They will most likely go Terezi on your ass. It will be awesome but only for onlookers.

 

@unknownanonymous Easy. Distract with Norm the Genie, then go in for the kill.

@pixels Could go either way, really, but you will definitely get smooched on the forehead at some point. If that's a risk you are willing to take, go for it. Mention 'xeroxing' something to get you started with an advantage.

@Beldaran why. why would you even. you monster.
(I mean even if you tried, you'd probably get served, but really. why. Beldaran is literally the sweetest)

 

@Wiwaxia :D haha, that's pretty much what i guessed! nice.

 

@rigorist: Do not fight Rigorist. Unless you like getting utterly schooled. He will pwn your ass in or out of court (in court? seriously? do you have a death wish.), and then he will go back to enjoying a nice vape and some vintage Betty Crocker recipes.

@jacktrash: well. I guess you could. But he really just wants to play Minecraft and garden. You might win, if he's not feeling up to snuff. But if he's feeling good that day, they will never find your body, but damn those will be some good tomatoes. He will send your family knitted things in your memory.

 

Fight @KathyGaele? Why would you want to do that, you monster?

 

@jacktrash: You will be buried in socks.

@Wiwaxia: You must first pass the taxonomy test before you may fight Wiw. If you pass the taxonomy test, it is a sign that you are too smart to want to fight Wiw. If you fail the taxonomy test, you have already lost, because Wiw will use that to Wiw's advantage.

@BPD anon: Do not fight Beeped. Beeped is a precious cinnamon roll who is too good for this sinful earth. Why would you make Beeped fight? You monster.

@rigorist: You have already lost. Rigorist is a guardian angel wreathed in vapors. If Rigorist passes judgment upon you, may God have mercy on your soul. Also Rigorist can legally fuck your shit up in or out of court. Part of the benefit of knowing the law is knowing what exactly is legal to do or not to do to a human being. I do not say "fellow human being" because Rigorist is a lawyer. Rigorist's soul was already bought by Satan. Without the burden of a soul, Rigorist sits in judgment as the guardian angel of all Kitsugijin. Kind of like reverse Lucifer. What a badass.

@KathyGaele: If she can trounce her personal demons, imagine what she could do to you. She already fights so hard every day. You are just one more thing in her way between her and recovery. Do not get in her way. She is a precious donut alongside Beeped's cinnamon roll.

@wes scripserat: Wes is a precious cruller. Basically do not fight my pastry children.

@Lissiel: Lissiel will go full on mom on your ass. Do you really want to be beaten by a mom? Didn't think so. So don't start shit.

@Aya: Aya wins. Aya will snow you with the contents of every DSM since its inception. Aya will probably mention that wanting to fight someone is indicative of a serious side effect of one of your drugs or symptom clusters and will probably advise a good lie-down, and Aya will probably be right about that. And you just can't fight Aya after something like that.

 

@soulsuckingisaacnewton You Are aware that small fuzzy creatures come with claws right? Bad idea.
@sicknastyspades You will be snarked to death.

 

*flaps with joy*

 

*will freely admit there are people around I'd like to put in time out and also maybe feed snacks while talking about why exactly they feel the need to be asshats.*

 

I can't do to many cause I'm not so good but.

@seebs
why would you fight seebs? Fighting seebs is awful and you will LOSE SO BAD. Also even if you lose, if you say sorry and show remorse and then ask seebs got help she will give it to you she is that awesome.

@Bel Capricorn
bel will draw strange versions of your face. You do not want to fight bel. Bel is also much stronger then he looks. So do not fight bel.

 

*whispers* fite me.

 

Meet me in the pit

 

@Acey You should totally fight Acey. Specifically, you should all fight Acey by liking as many of my posts as possible.

#it is on

 

@Snitchanon:
Can you fight Snitch? Can you find Snitch? Are you even sure that Snitch is real? Oh wait, you lost. Too bad.