I might have just lost a shot at my dream job because I can't fucking get my act together mental health-wise. I am qualified, I am competent, I did well at the interview, et cetera, and getting and keeping the job still seems pretty much hopeless. I haven't been able to wake up in the morning for more than a year now, not even if I set double alarms, and ask for a person to wake me up via phone call. Not even if I ask them to call me multiple times in the morning: I just go back to sleep and lie about it. I can't actually sit down and work, haven't been able to in a year apart from a few exceptions. And yes, I am taking anti-depressants, it works, it prevents the worst of the sadness and the anxiety but it does nothing against inertia. Doing an interesting task I'm well-qualified for makes me an anxious procrastinating wreck, I put it off until the next day, then I oversleep, then I procrastinate until well into the afternoon, until it's too late to start working on it anyway so I put it off until the next day. I can't make deadlines. It's not possible. I can't even start, I can't even properly think about it, there's a blockage in my head. I can't write, not even for fun. I can't read anything complex. And if I miraculously manage to start work I'm actually okay, but it seems like I forgot where the 'ON' button is and I only accidentally stumble upon it, once every few weeks. Um. Help?
Sounds like a) your meds arent doing nearly enough and maybe you should talk to your dr about changing the dosage or adding a suppliment or trying something else and also b) that you need a therapist badly to work with you on strategies for handling things. You already know that you should not be so tired that you go back to sleep after repeated prodding and wanting to get up. Thats not normal and certainly not how you should feel on functioning meds. So you need something for more energy but also the kind of paralyzing anxiety you're talking about ought to be being addressed too. So your current meds may be stopping you from wanting to die or whatever the worst is for you, but they arent getting you to a fair baseline either if you still cant function. But yeah, this is probably not the kind of thing thats going to be solved by a forum thread, itll be fixing your meds and also probably taking to a qualified therapist about anxiety and self-sabotage.
Thank. You is darling. I'll try and get actual therapy as soon as possible. I don't know if more meds are an option, I'm already on max dose citalopram, and the side effects are, surprise, even more sleep. But I'll ask anyway.
Ah, well possible its your meds making you sleepy in the first place then. Would mention the excess sleeping as a thing to your dr though--sometimes they can do for ex a lower dose with abilify or something and that works better. Idk, am not a dr. But yeah, there may well be options, because this does not sound like its working.
I know this is older but I wanted to add on based on my experiences: my antidepressants made me sooo tired. They still do but the change in dosage minimized some of it but back on topic it definitely could be the meds making you exhausted like @Lissiel said. This might be as simple as changing what times of day you take them. It could also involve messing around with doses BUT they'll probably change the timing first.
Either way, and you probably know this but it bears saying anyway, DONT FUCK AROUND WITH YOUR TIMES OR DOSES BY YOURSELF. Talk to your dr first, and have them supervise while you play with things. If i could smack past me for pulling that shit you bet i would. :/
Thanks a lot :) I know it's a bad idea to fuck around with my doses, so I won't, not until I have spoken to an official person, which I might manage next week. And taking the meds before sleep gives me the most awake-time, I already figured that out with my former, now unavailable doctor, so I won't change that. (Also, another of my job interviews seems to have worked out so I might not be 100% fucked, I just need to somehow find the energy not to break down during my trial period.)
