sorry i don't make the rules: ridiculous/lighthearted headcanons

Another from Dreamwidth:

 

Doomguy? The doomslayer? Big rough tough shooty booty wham bam murdery symbol of masculinity? super gay. Just, the gayest.

 

In a modern AU, Edelgard's greatest nightmare is getting stuck on Splash Mountain for an hour. Again.

 

I don't think Great Mouse Detective ever stated what Ratigan was a professor of. I don't think this was a thing in the Victorian era, but for the irony and for the fact he'd definitely know about the topic, my pals and I made him, in our modern AU, a professor of criminology.

 

IMPORTANT UPDATE: @Deresto has pointed out that she also definitely types in all caps.

 

I have a headcanon that Aunt Gayle from Bob's Burgers loves the game Neko Atsume, and has an entire album filled with butt shots.

 

I know its neat to have weird headcanons about trolls being buggy and I am appreciative of some of that work, even that weird grubs-are-like-ticks-and-drink-blood AU someone did a oneshot about

but

I like fat squishy grubs. with little fat nublegs ending in a hard claw

that's good and cuddly and cute

I don't like insects much, engineering-wise

top of a beetle? good, cute. flip it over? terrible legs with too many joints and the abdomen is all weird and ick-gross-no

I apologize to the cool kids

 

My partner raises beetles and yeah that's p much what the grubs are like. Fat, surprisingly firm and strong, hard little head.

 

The Professor has the same instincts as a medium to large sized dog when it comes to proper seating. This both amuses and embarrasses Edelgard.

 

Friends and I concluded that Buster Baxter's dad must secretly be involved in organised crime, since his physical appearance is vastly different every time he appears in the show.

 

I'd love to hear any theories around the spinoff "Postcards from Buster" y'all have :0c

 

Heh, we didn't get that specific yet, but I'll ask the gals XD

 

One from the kinkmeme:

 

Some funny ones from the Overwatch kinkmeme:

I can't remember if it was here or on Tumblr or somewhere else, but I also get a laugh out of the theory that Overwatch is, in-universe, some kind of weird training simulation, hence how there can be three of the same character on a team at once along with someone who is nominally their enemy. If anyone knows where that post is, tell me!

 

I saw a theory that it was sci-fi wrestling. And (almost) all the backstory etc is just kayfabe. All of Overwatch and Blackwatch etc? kayfabe

 

That's cute as hell, tbh. I'd be real tickled if a plotless hero shooter established a bunch of barely coherent lore and then one day just reveals that it's future WWE bullshit. No fanfare or anything, just, yeah, they're all actors/athletes, this is their day job, what of it??

 

Imagine nerfs and buffs being, like, in universe rule changes the actors have to comply with?? Like, Ravager, my dude, you shoot too many bullets way too fast, your matches end way too quickly. It's super boring. We're limiting your rate of fire a bit, and we'll see how the next few weeks turn out, <3 Management.

It's be super cute to do patch notes like that! A comic or something of the heroes reacting to rule changes.

 

I think the official story is that Overwatch is kind of a... meta-game layered over the narrative. 'Like a kid playing with superhero action figures' was the way they described it.

 

Anyone have a source on that? I definitely remember seeing that, but I can't remember where and it's frustrating.

 

Oooh, interesting HS idea...