clowntown daily dispatch (acey’s bejeweled baguette): currently screaming about fanfiction

the official tmbg twitter being largely a platform for flans to shitpost delights me so

 

my tenth grade latin teacher is gay married to a dude with his own wikipedia article who has won multiple oscars for his writing and animation for pixar and i’m still kinda losing my mind at all of it

the guy who co-wrote and co-directed coco took his husband—who is a huge fuckin nerd who teaches high school latin and has a crush on noted dead guy cicero and called julius caesar “kind of a douchebag” during class one time—as his date to the oscars and honestly imagining scooby-dooley in that setting is so funny to me. iconic and i love everything about it tbh

 

random su humanstuck headcanons:

• amethyst is a horrid caffeine goblin, her go-to is energy drinks and she has Opinions on which ones are best but if need be she can and will just slam a whole pot of black coffee without flinching (and usually while making direct eye contact with pearl because she knows it disturbs her greatly)
• jasper is a hairdresser. she’s actually really fuckin good at it??
• i know i made it her first name in my last fic but i discovered that bismuth is actually a legit last name so now i headcanon bismuth as going by her last name
• pearl is a major insomniac and everyone is vaguely convinced she’s a vampire because she seems to function on zero sleep ever (joke’s on them bc she’s not functioning nearly as well as she wants everyone to think lmao)
• lapis was head cheerleader in high school. the other girls on the squad hated her because she’s kind of a huge bitch. this works out well because she hated them right back

 

never forget that time rebecca sugar confirmed that pearl fucks

 

i feel like the downright cheery way linnell sings “PRETTY SOON YOU’LL BE TELLING ME THAT YOU’VE HAD ENOUGH AND YOU’RE LEAVING MEEEE~” in apophenia is just. Peak TMBG

 

(rose quartz voice) IIIIIIIIII’LL BE HAAAAUUUNTING YOOOOOOOOUUUUU

 

y’all i got the steven jacket for my bday!!!! also the end of an era book and a rly cute kitty lamp! :3

 

Many happy returns! :)

 

Thank!! I’m having a nice day so far—opened the aforementioned prezzies, and now I’m at the park after a nice walk. My mom is dropping Grid off at work in around an hour and she’s gonna pick me up on the way, and then we’re gonna go to the weed shop and the mall! And pick up my cake—it’s ready any time after one PM, so that works out nicely. Chocolate peanut butter cake from a local bakery that’s renowned for their amazing cakes! :D

(I usually get german chocolate but LOOK...I saw that option and knew I had to try it...chocolate peanut butter is one of those combos that I consider truly divine okay)

Around 4:30 in the afternoon the group chat is gonna watch The Room together, which is gonna be great—most of us have seen it, but @evilas hasn’t, and I am VERY excited to see his reactions to the whole, uh...experience. >:3c

Also Olive Garden for dinner. Mom has agreed to get a brick of parmesan so I can mimic the experience of making the poor waiter grate even more cheese onto my five-cheese ziti. Ideal tbh.

 

Bday was good!! :D

Also @Deresto you were so right about the kitty lamp being perfect for my purposes, I used it last night and it’s juuuuust the right amount of light!! Not bright enough to annoy me while I’m trying to sleep, but bright enough to be able to see enough. 10/10 Good Lamp

 

rose quartz’s aesthetic:

 

more of this shit:

• peridot grew up in canada and amethyst is always giving her Stereotypically Canadian Things as gifts for the lulz. (peri is mostly just annoyed that she can’t get tim hortons here)
• amethyst is jasper’s little sister. they’re full-blooded sisters here and people are always shocked to learn this because jasper is the massive buff sports bitch and ame is smol chungus. amethyst is not happy about this
• pearl’s upbringing was very much Large Working-Class Extremely Catholic Family and it shows
• yellow pearl’s nose got broken at some point in her childhood and healed slightly crooked which is why it points up a bit. i am pretty sure it got broken because she talked shit but idk
• garnet was born in london to american expat rupphires who moved back to the states when she was like 12. she still has the accent
• amethyst’s goal in life is to be girl fieri

 

car lesbians social media headcanons

• amethyst is a shitposter on every platform. she may have a small youtube following for her trash content (including the worst mukbang ideas imaginable). her tumblr layout is the absolute worst eyesore possible and entirely in comic sans. discord icon is an ever-changing but inevitably cursed image
• pearl uses facebook like a mom and gets into a lot of incredibly petty arguments with people who are Being Wrong On The Internet. she may have been active on deviantart in middle school but like fuck is she admitting any connection to this account. that could be ANY pearl. what do you mean all the drawings are of rose. discord icon is a selfie she took like three years ago. she has never changed it
• garnet barely uses social media herself but she lurks EVERYWHERE. she knows everything about everyone’s weird bullshit. it’s kind of unnerving. discord icon was the default discord icon until she got a kitten. discord icon is now said kitten.
• peridot is the queen of twitter and if you disagree you’re wrong. she DEFINITELY had a deviantart account in middle school, and also a fanfiction dot net account. avid ao3 user, tumblr gremlin, and redditor. Very Online in general. gets into a lot of extremely dumb and pointless arguments about fandom shit. discord icon is some anime dude she thinks is cool. sasuke maybe
• lapis is an edgy online artist. her art tumblr is Controversial. actually her entire online presence is Controversial because she continually manages to get into even more petty online slapfights than pearl and peridot combined. sometimes goes on sadposting sprees at 4 am but always deletes everything in the morning. discord icon is a mudkip with a blunt in its mouth
• i’ll figure out the rest later idk

 

Spoiler: irl worm

it’s worm time babey

 

Where he goin? It's a mystery. Even to worm.

 

Perhaps he’s going to play the drums? (He thinks he’s getting good, but he can handle criticism.)

 

Spoiler: more worm

Well whaddaya know! :)

 

So talented!