I'M CAPTAIN KIRK

ah, emulators

i have patched up my pokemon game collection by downloading a bunch of roms of the gameboy games, which i don't have physically because i never had a gameboy or gba or anything, i started with a ds

i've only started Red, which doesn't have a choice of gender for your pc so of course i named them Pat and am hcing them as incredibly nonbinary. the only pokemon they currently have is a squirtle, named Bip

 

this is an announcement: the way in the omega ruby delta episode you get one (1) chance to fight deoxys and it's after the fight with rayquaza and a lengthy cutscene and there's NO CHANCES TO SAVE after immediately before battling rayquaza is bollocks

i could only be bothered to reset to try and catch deoxys once, when i accidentally OHKed the thing the second time around i just let it go. fuck you deoxys, you pansy, you were ten levels higher than rayquaza, one-hit knockouts should be illegal

 

i need to put everyone's teams and shit somewhere for easier reference than 'try desperately to remember what page of this they're all on every time i want to look something up'

 

so in later games you tend to be given your first pokeballs by whoever teaches you to catch pokemon, but in red you kind of just buy them yourself and i did it before i stumbled across the old man who teaches you the catchening methods
so i suddenly had this image of tiny androgynous child very solemnly sliding money across a counter they can barely see over and receiving Balls with this gleam of Unlimited Potential in their little eye that deeply unsettles the sales assistant

 

me, looking at dogs for adoption: this dog is beautiful and perfect
me: but i know it's probably a bad idea for multiple reasons to apply to adopt
also me: [starts mentally planning where to put dog bed, which rooms to close off for initial introductions to bella]

 

i have come to the conclusion that the main problem would be where to relocate bella's downstairs litter box, since it's currently just in the living room and there isn't really anywhere else to put it. I suppose i could put it on a table.

 

I have Finally Actually Done This

 

as celebration if anyone wants any pokemon headcanons (or hell headcanons about npcs, why not) hit me up

 

do u have ditto related headcanons, i love me some pink blobbo

 

DITTO
ditto's a cutie

-As is perfectly canon according to both at least one pokedex entry and the anime, how good the transformations are depend heavily on the individual ditto. Almost every individual will have an entirely unique set of strengths and weaknesses when it comes to transforming. In the wild, for obvious reasons, these strengths and weaknesses depend a lot on the particular area the ditto grew up in- if it grew up somewhere with a lot of ground-types, well, it'll be great at turning into those and probably suck at turning into water types. As a result, if you're raising a ditto yourself with the goal of making it as good as possible at transforming, you need to give it the opportunity to see and mimic a huge variety of other pokemon.
-Most ditto are extremely good at copying relatively simple things, but mistakes creep in when they're trying to copy something very complex, which is why very few ditto can mimic humans or legendary pokemon. There are, however, outliers who are obscenely good at copying the complex or working from memory, and there have been a few recorded cases of humans turning out to be ditto (generally unmasked quickly because of odd behaviour and an inability to properly mimic language) and people thinking they've seen a legendary in their backyard only to have it turn out to be a ditto (extremely annoying, especially for researchers). Naturally, there are plenty more uncorroborated conspiracy theories about ditto who can not only mimic the appearance of humans but their behaviours and language as well, thereby becoming basically indistinguishable from the real thing, and even more based on the idea that all legendaries are, in fact, ditto.
-Likewise, most ditto make mistakes when transforming from memory, but there's at least one known ditto who made a living on the contest circuit because it could mimic any pokemon it had seen even just once basically flawlessly. It caused something of a ditto-owning fad, and many were disappointed to discover that the vast majority of ditto cannot, in fact, do that.
-Like any skill, a ditto's transformation ability must be learned and honed and can be improved by constant practice, which luckily most ditto are very happy to do; ditto in the wild spend very little time in their natural pink blobby shape, since it possesses little mobility and no notable powers of its own apart from transforming. Speed of transformation, as well as accuracy, can be trained, and a properly trained battling ditto can assume its opponent's shape in under a second.
-the main reason ditto are all so individualistic about their transforming ability is because they do not spend much time with other ditto naturally. A ditto lays their eggs and then leaves, and the newly hatched babies will instinctively transform into the first pokemon they see upon hatching, which since eggs do not all hatch at the same time and most pokemon won't hang around a clutch that isn't theirs, tends to be different pokemon for each baby. This causes them to go off in different directions soon after birth. If they happen to transform into a social species, they will often end up being cared for with actual young of that species, making them kind of a cuckoo in the nest, though they generally don't steal resources from their foster-siblings unless resources are scarce to begin with. If, however, they transform into a species that generally looks after itself as a youngster, well, they'll do that too. This leads to wild ditto varying wildly in how sociable and friendly they are when caught.
-There has been at least one recorded case in the wild (as opposed to in breeding facilities, where this sort of thing is much more likely to happen) of a wild Chansey being seen with a whole gaggle of baby Chansey who all turned out to be young ditto. This is presumably because Chansey is a species who will find a clutch of unattended eggs and decide to take care of them.
-There is a group of trainers who actually appreciate ditto for their natural blobbiness, and do not train or encourage transformation. There are Natural Ditto shows where ditto are judged on sheen, texture, patterning and suchlike things, since wild ditto do in fact come in a variety of shades from pale pastel pink to quite dark purple and quite frequently have faint markings in their jellylike flesh.
-Just as there are ditto who are abnormally proficient at transforming, there are ditto who are abnormally bad at it- from the ditto in the anime who gave every shape the same ditto eyes to ditto who cannot manage a full transformation at all. The founder of the aformentioned Natural Ditto fancying group was inspired to do so after working with ditto who had been abandoned by trainers for their terrible transformation skills.
-Ditto are quite rare in the wild because to create more ditto, two ditto must mate, and they don't actually bump into each other all that often by accident. If a ditto mates with another pokemon, the eggs will hatch into that species, regardless of whether the ditto is the 'father' or the 'mother'. Ditto by themselves have no sex and no apparent gender, and there have been recorded disagreements between ditto pairs before mating as to which is going to be the one to bear the eggs.

 

tell me about.... mr fish
aka gyrados because i love me some stupid big dragon fish snake thing

 

Tell me of the haunted teacup bby?

 

ah gyarados. all- literally all- of its pokedex entries are about how violent it is...

-contrary to its usual reputation, gyarados is not in fact senselessly violent or particularly naturally prone to city-destroying rampages. They have the capability, absolutely, and there have 100% been cases where they dealt massive damage to settlements. None of these, however, have happened due to a gyarados just feeling grouchy one day and deciding it wants to fuck shit up. Generally, they have been caused by gyarados being trapped in unsuitable habitats and/or bothered by humans in some way, be it by them trying to drive it off, kill it, or by polluting or unduly encroaching on its habitat. The pokedex leans heavily on their destructive capabilities essentially as a deterrent to those who might be tempted to try and keep one without being able to keep it properly, since they are certainly massively and potentially fatally powerful. Unfortunately, as these things always do, it has occasionally attracted those for whom power overrides any other consideration, often with terrible outcomes for both trainer and pokemon.
-It is also unfortunately not uncommon for a gyarados to end up trapped in an unsuitable habitat. They need huge ranges, giant lakes or the ocean, and decent water quality for best health, whereas magikarp can live quite happily basically anywhere there is enough water for them to be submerged most of the day and indeed some places where there isn't. It's pretty uncommon for magikarp to evolve in the wild, due to the fact that their survival strategy is 'well, they can't eat all of us' and they rarely successfully battle, but of course it does happen, and it doesn't always happen in a suitable environment (although being in a suitable environment for a gyarados has been shown to sharply increase the rate of magikarp evolution). Rangers are quite often called out to relocate newly evolved gyarados who have ended up stranded somewhere, which can be a dangerous job depending on how well the pokemon has taken to its situation- considering that they're also not used to their newly acquired size and strength, so even if they're calm they can hurt people entirely by accident.
-Part of the reputation for violence probably also stems from the fact that in the wild it's only the most dominant, aggressive magikarp that end up evolving, and pokemon tend to keep very similar personalities in evolved forms. Gyarados who have evolved from gentle-tempered magikarp under trainer care have been known to be equally gentle and loving, if perhaps a bit more possessive of their trainers.
-Like magikarp, gyarados in the wild also like to group up, albeit in much smaller groups, usually pods maxing out at about five. Lack of company can also contribute to aggression, which trainers intending to evolve magikarp must be aware of even if they are prepared in every other way. A well-trained gyarados is often happy to socialise with other water types, but regular contact with other gyarados is recommended to help them work off energy, which they have a lot of, and train them to better understand and use their size and power with creatures of similar size and strength. Gyarados raised primarily with smaller water-types and used to having to be restrained and gentle have been known to struggle with knowing when and how to unleash their power in battle, which can be dangerous.
-Like magikarp, gyarados is capable of spending extended periods on land and able to locomote surprisingly well, generally in a snakelike motion. However they must have free access to large bodies of water, at a very minimum five times their size, and the ability to spend three-quarters of their time in the wet, or their health suffers due to having to bear their bodyweight, their skin drying out and becoming chafed, their fins drying and damaging the thin membranes, the relative inefficiency of their air-breathing lungs, and lack of access to most of their healthy behaviours. They also eat best when allowed to hunt their own live prey. Obviously these are difficult criteria to meet for most, and it's not uncommon for trainers who have kept gyarados for their League challenges (where the pokemon lives primarily in its pokeball, a compromise judged safe by League standards for the amount of time a challenge usually takes and so long as the pokemon is provided plenty of training and exercise at every point where it is possible) to have to give their gyarados up to others who live in better areas or to sanctuaries when they retire to live more normal lives.
-One of these sanctuaries, in Kanto, specialises in gyarados and does a lot of work to destigmatise the species, including offering gyarados scuba tours on specially trained indviduals. Gyarados is more than capable of carrying several people even on land, and underwater it's a cakewalk.

 

SINISTEA
WE LOVE A SINISTEA

-It is not known where the first Sinistea spirit came from. It is theorised that there was a kind of ghost type that needed a vessel hanging around at the time tea was invented as a drink, and it turned out that the composition of a cold, unfinished cup of tea was just perfect, so much so that the spirit took to inhabiting them over and above any other possible vessels, and eventually adapted to do so exclusively.
-As you might expect, sinistea are not born possessing a teacup. When they first come into being (it seems that, while sinistea can and do lay eggs, they primarily do so when they have mated with another species, and breeding between two sinistea or polteageist is a different process entirely) they are wispy little clouds with very little substance, and inexperienced breeders can and do lose them via ill-timed small breezes. Not kill them- they don't seem possible to kill per se, like most ghost types- just... lose them, as they float out the window or slip through a crack and are gone. If there is a suitable vessel available, however, most baby sinistea will almost immediately possess it, and become the teacup spirit we all know and love.
-Contrary to popular belief it's not really the cup that makes the vessel, it's the tea inside it. So long as the beverage is some kind of tea made with generally accepted Tea Leaves (black, green, rooibos have all been confirmed to work) that has been half-drunk and forgotten about, the spirit will accept it. If the tea was deliberately abandoned, the acceptibility of this seems to depend on the sinistea in question- some will take to it just fine, others will reject it. Freshly brewed and tea that hasn't been at least part drunk will never be accepted. Most are not fussy about the container, leading to sinistea in cups, mugs, glasses, mason jars and basically anything else people generally put tea in, but there's a small subset that appear to be highly picky about it, and will only accept the finest of china made by the finest of craftsmen. Unsurprisingly, most of these (if trained) end up in non-combative contests rather than battles.
-Despite tea not originating in Galar, the species has wound up being very common there due to a combination of factors. One is a minor but statistically significant preference in the sinistea population for black tea, which is more widely drunk in Galar over any other type; another is that, while historically trading with other regions, sinistea and polteageist would be adopted as mascots for tea trading companies, and every ship which regularly traded tea would have their own. This also led to a lot of Galar craftspeople competing to provide the finest cups for these mascots as they were frequently owned by very rich people, and they became status symbols of sorts. So, though the sinistea population never got much of a foothold in other regions (they are still common in poke-China and poke-India, though. [there's no canon poke-china and poke-India unfortunately lmao]) they survived and flourished in Galar.
-The 'authentic' vessels spoken of in the pokedex are usually teaservices made specifically for the sinistea line by those aforementioned craftspeople; there are still some operating today, but antique ones are often jealously guarded and passed down through families.
-Being ghost types, sometimes a new spirit will reject a beautiful antique sinistea cup for no apparent reason. You can't get upset at them, they're tiny ghosts and they don't give a fuck.
-As previously said, black is the most preferred tea type, then green, then rooibos. There have been recorded sinistea who have inhabited cups of other teas that don't contain accepted tea leaves, like fruit teas, but experiments with offering them to newly born sinistea have had mixed results. Flavourings and subtypes- earl grey, for example, or matcha green or so on- seem to be, again, highly dependent on the individual spirit, with some showing strong preferences and others seeming not to care at all. One constant, however, is that whatever type of tea a sinistea initially settled in will have to be contained in the vessel provided for them to evolve into polteageist, or the evolution will not be successful.
-in rare cases a sinistea spirit has depossessed its vessel and claimed a new one without evolving. This mostly seems to happen when it unexpectedly comes across a type of tea it greatly prefers to its original, but can happen if it finds a container it greatly prefers as well.
-Drinking sinistea is unwise. They taste unpleasant, disagree with the digestion, and parasitise energy when taken into the body. Drinking polteageist can be done in very small doses, if the pokemon offers. The taste seems to vary by individual, but everyone agrees that it never tastes anything like the tea the spirit initially settled in.

 

Haunter pretty pls?

 

(if i may be allowed a second pokemon... Dratini?)

 

Ah my favourite of the line. So pointy, so personalityful, midevos are so underappreciated

-Haunter is the most mobile of the Gastly line, as Gastly are limited by their fully gaseous bodies and Gengar are ambush predators who prefer to stake out small areas and lurk there for prey. Haunter, however, will go on surprisingly long journeys in search of food, lodging and mischief; crossing large cities in a night is not uncommon, and efforts to track particularly lively individuals have shown them to move around entire regions. They greatly prefer built-up areas, as they gravitate to humanity, but are clearly willing to cross the countryside in service of finding other places to menace.
-As is generally true, the pokedex rather overstates the general nature of the pokemon. They are- usually- not malicious, and while they absolutely will lurk in shadows and startle passersby they are not generally aiming to kill them. They feed off energy, like the rest of their line, and scaring people is a good way of harvesting this energy. Haunter are also often more physical about it than Gastly, and a little grosser, as they like to lick; their tongue is extremely sensitive, to flavours, textures and energy, and it's the best way of determing what type of energy this person is giving off and how much the Haunter will need to take.
-Plus, they're ghosts, and like most ghosts they love a laugh, and a wild haunter's idea of a fun jape quite often doesn't line up with that of a person innocently walking home in the dark.
-As the pokedex says, being licked by a Haunter can cause uncontrollable shivers for a while, as well as minor paralysis generally of the extremities depending on how much energy they leeched, but the symptoms generally pass after at most a few minutes and very rarely lead to death. Repeated attacks of shivers and paralysis with no other evident cause can, however, indicate that a Haunter has decided to regularly feed on that person's energy, and if left uncontrolled that can lead to death, as it's not good for a person to be regularly fed on without taking precautions to regain the energy that is taken. Even trainers are recommended to allow their Haunter to feed on as many different people as are available and willing, as accidentally giving yourself a wasting disease feeding your ghost type because you misjudged how much they were taking is not a desirable outcome.
-Trainers, and those who know wild Haunter are in the area and aren't willing to be fed on, can greatly limit the amount of human energy that needs to be taken by providing specially formulated ghost-type food, as Haunters and Gengars especially are perfectly capable of consuming and deriving nourishment from solid food and greatly enjoy it. When wild they often can be found rummaging in bins for trash, so most of what they eat doesn't provide quite what they need, which is why a specialist ghost-type food is recommended to minimise energy feeding. Also it's annoying when they upturn your bins and laugh.
-Despite their newly acquired hands, they do most of their fine manipulation of objects with their telekinesis, as it won't be until they evolve into Gengar that they gain the ability to use their digits to do so, despite ironically having much stubbier fingers. Haunter fingers are more like claws, and although more solid than Gastly they are not quite as solid as Gengar. They are good for poking, though.
-Haunter who are well bonded with their trainer are remarkably sensitive to emotional state, and will often do their best to drive away bad moods with practical jokes and games. Affectionate licking, without taking energy, is also common, and described as feeling cold and tingly and a little like pins and needles.
-While Gastly tend to gather together, Haunter is more solitary, although it's not uncommon to find two or maybe three sharing a general area and playing with each other. They are tolerant of most other ghost types, although any that attempt to encroach on their feeding grounds will be unceremoniously driven away, or the Haunter may leave in a huff. If a Gengar is around, any Haunters in the area sometimes take up luring prey of whatever type to the Gengar's ambush spot in exchange for protection, but Haunters will not generally take much notice or care of gangs of Gastly.
-They are capable of being seen and existing in light, but it weakens their physicality. An untrained Haunter will also suffer a drop in attack power and less ability to use their telekinesis, although this can be mitigated with practice, and those wanting to battle professionally with a Haunter are recommended to train this early on, as most battlegrounds are brightly lit, and area-darkening moves can't always been relied upon. Wild Haunter will not willingly come out in light, and the wide adoption of artificial light in cities caused their populations to drop, although ghost types as a whole are adaptive, and numbers have been steadily rising, with people reporting Haunter who seem to be able to put out lights, or even Haunter who seem adapted to artificial lights, although they remain unwilling to go out in sunlight.

 

pls do feel free to ask for more headcanons if you want, but 'm done for the night lmao i'll get to them tomorrow probably

 

gently places my bug son on the table
can I get some nincada vibes

 

i thought, for a moment, you were asking for Thoughts And Prayers for your nincada plush, and ngl i was ready to accept that