shitposting rave 2, electric boogaloo

Why did I get gold and XP by defeating a vegetable? Normal Gem monsters don't do that.

 

Whoa there!

*sinks into the ground out of foot-stomping range.*

You won't get any parasite roots from me if you just
leave me alone.

*pops up again beside @Pearl (the Crystal Gem) to answer the actual question!*

Oh, well, that's easy! The vegetable wasn't a gem monster, you silly!
It was a monster. Haven't you ever played a video game before??? You gained experience for killing monsters! :D
I'm not sure why so many of them carry gold, though. It's not like you ever see them go into shops.

 

@Your best friend

Video game? Yes, I have. Steven likes them. There are one of the ways that humans like to waste their time.

 

See, that's what I thought last time. Stay put while I go find a flame thrower.

 

@Pearl (the Crystal Gem)

That's a little harsh!
...But you're not wrong!
Video games are supposed to be fun, escapist, wish fulfillment!
Most humans don't ever get to kill anybody, or become rich, or save the world!
That's what video games are for!
Letting them do the things they won't ever get to do in real life.
And we're in one! :D

 

@Your best friend

In one?

 

No wonder everything tasted horrid and artificial.

 

@Pearl (the Crystal Gem)

:o
Well, yeah!
Didn't you see those encounter command choices?
This whole place is a digital simulation!
I noticed some of the old welcome programs kick on and thought, golly, are there new people logging in? I should go greet them!
And here I am!

 

@Your best friend That's what they are called?

 

@Pearl (the Crystal Gem)
Well...
That's what I call them!
Heeheehee.
I try to stay out of fights, so I don't know if they really have a name. Menu options, maybe?

 

@Your best friend So, how do I get out of here?

 

@Pearl (the Crystal Gem)
...
:(
...
Golly.
I'm sorry, but I don't know how!
I'm not a person like you are, after all! This is the only world I've ever been in...
But it must be possible somehow! There used to be lots of people here, and they all stopped being around.

 

@Your best friend Are you sure they didn't all die?

 

@Pearl (the Crystal Gem)
D-die?
D:

*the flower disappears into the ground*

 

What did I say?

 

-squints-


-squints more-



-squints even more-



...I don't even.

 

That's probably exactly how.

 

think what you mean is,
am i getting anything
besides errors??? nope!

so here's a screencap:
[the entire screen is red]
[showing 404]

wow that's so helpful!!!!
i already thought of that!
got any advice??

 

test 1

 

test 2