that one really weird thing on your mind that is making you laugh your ass off

Rediscovered I Am The Horrible Goose

 

I should be asleep an hour ago but instead I'm reading threads of people pointing and laughing at the techbros who thought they could buy "knitting.com" and make millions of dollars and "be the number one knitting brand on Amazon" and immediately got eaten alive because fibercraft people do not forgive.

 

ohhhh please share!

 

They're already in the "delete everything and try to wait it out until people forget" stage (they will not forget) but highlights include:

• Neither of them knows how to knit.
• The actual business plan is that they're selling $200 memberships to take their seminars on how to get rich quick by buying domain names related to hobbies and turning them into click farm ad portals. They've already done this with a couple of other Manly(TM) hobbies and were under the impression that buying knitting.com for $80kUS was a completely safe investment.
• They said they thought about doing it with fishing but went with knitting because "fishing lures and fishing poles are fairly basic products that are tough to improve on." Unlike... needles and yarn...
• Their extensive competitive market research was going to, like, Michael's and looking at the analytics for the single search term "knitting." Their blog post had a selfie of them in the big-box craft store which magically vanished even faster than the rest of the post.
• They thought their only competition on the internet was from China but they didn't have to worry because no one wants to watch a knitting video with a Chinese person in it (wut), and everything else was, quote, "grannies with blogs."
• Ravelry is a social media site dedicated to fiber arts that has over 9 million users and a library of hundreds of thousands of patterns. They did not know Ravelry existed.
• "URLs are the original NFTs!"
• When someone asked how they expected their site to make money, they literally replied "Off products! :)"
• There was a typo in the first sentence of the website copy.
• They were surprised to learn that knitters by things off websites other than Amazon.

The knitting community is actually notoriously dramatic. It's a fairly expensive and time-consuming creative hobby, so it has a lot of people with extremely strong opinions about materials who are willing to go to the ends of the earth for something very slightly nicer. There is a known phenomenon of Etsy yarn sellers faking their deaths. There are wars over the ethics of acrylic baby blankets. And these guys come in thinking they can make a million dollars in a year and take over the market not knowing how to spell "purl."

 

Oh my g o d lmao. I’d heard bits and pieces of the Knitting Dot Com Drama in the Hobby Scuffles threads of r/HobbyDrama, but hadn’t thought to look further. Somehow it’s even crazier than I’d expected.

 

Ngl i am here for knitter of the world uniting

These guys should be glad that the grandmas aren't coming for them with sharpened needles

 

sequel

 

this entire thing has been a wild ride but

I don't even fish, but the company I work for makes Fishing Products (among other things), and l m a o buddy you have not begun to see the depths of Fishing Accoutrements. lures and poles my ass, come back when your biggest customer is non-industrial preorders for hi-def water ultrasound. they outstrip the actual medical companies we make normal ultrasounds for, in both expenditure and sheer volume of units ordered. (not that the knitting community is any less bonkers than fishing bros, but like.......... sirs....... sirs I would ask if you've thought this comparison through but it seems to have exactly as much thought put into it as any of the rest of this plan)

 

OH NO

 

Marketing tip: when you google your prospective brand names to see if they already mean something, turn safe search off.

 

https://browniefox.tumblr.com/post/677926250540597248

standing ovation for op

 

From webcomic Grrl Power:
"My skin is impenetrable and my claws can cut through anything."
*opponent whips his own hand into stabbing him*
"What? Clearly one of those statements was false."

 

According to a friend of mine, Raya and the Last Dragon provides a lesson in the problem of using words from a tone-based language in a movie primarily in a non-tone-based language. "Dep La", pronounced in certain ways, can mean "strangely beautiful" or "best friend", but pronounced neutrally as English speakers say it, it can mean any one of the syllables' various meanings, including "screaming sandals". I can't confirm how accurate this is but the mental image is amusing.

 

https://www.cracked.com/article_269...art-piece-was-bound-to-end-badly-and-did.html

 

Nsfwish and also very loud. https://twitter.com/cooldisks101/status/1496728681363873796